Have bag...waiting to travel

Today has not been a productive day at work.  For some reason I am just not feeling 'working' today.  So I sit at my desk and think about my upcoming (work) trip to Chicago that has lots of free time for me! But then I started thinking...I want to go somewhere else, a vacation.  So I started looking into places to go and prices.  But then I face the same problem....do I really want to go somewhere alone?  Some trips are tours - which would be good.  I'd hope they set you up with a roommate instead of paying a single supplement.

But then I found some other great deals, one to Venice and Tuscany for a week included air and hotel and a rental car...the price was fantastic, but it was for 4 people.  How awesome would that be? It would be like what i see in the movies...2 couples or 4 friends taking a trip together.  I'd love it.   Similarly they had the same type of deal for Costa Rica but that was for only 2 people. 

Looking for a vacation went from exciting to dreadful because I do not have people to vacation with  :(  and it dawned on me I need more friends.  Well, actually that isn't a new revelation  - I have known that for a while.  I have a few good friends...but they are all married with kids...and they would not want to take a trip with me when they can do it with their own families.  I have road tripped twice with McGriddle Pants, which has always been fun - but she has a life too and other friends. 

Does anyone know of groups of 'NORMAL' people that go on vacations?  Oh, and the kicker is of course that I don't have several thousands of dollars to vacation with...so many trips are automatically eliminated due to price.

Man? Where are you? I am ready to start vacationing with you!  New friend...are you out there?  My bags are packed and ready to go.

Snooze time

I am an early bird.  Or at least I was.  I never had a problem rising, and I am not grouchy when I wake.  When I was living with SI at one point, we did keep our alarm clock on the other side of the room, so we would HAVE to get up to turn it off...but that was more for him than for me.  I rarely, if ever hit snooze.

Two weeks ago, I started setting my alarm clock just 30 minutes earlier to 5:30am.  I had hoped that rising thirty minutes earlier would allow me time to do my '17 minute workout' which is part of that diet I am attempted.  So in the last 10 days, I actually got up only 4 times.  The rest of the days, I hit snooze.  So, I am left wondering why?  Is it because I really am tired, that I have been going to bed too late (and by late I mean after 10pm, not in the wee hours of the morning)?  Is it because I just really hate exercising?  Is it because thirty minutes makes a big difference in rising time? Is it because I am starting to hate my job?  Or is it because it isn't really light outside yet? 

I never fall back in a deep sleep in those thirty minutes.  I just stay in bed with my eyes closed thinking of my dreams or staying warm.  I know I should just get up instead of giving myself the choice.  Since I don't really fall back to sleep, that time is now wasted.  Once 5:58 - 6:00 comes - I hop right out of bed, no problems.

Do you snooze?

My attempt to be a handywoman....failure

Yesterday I found out that my water hose to my ice maker in the freezer had a hole in it, and thus was leaking.  I did not have a puddle in my kitchen, so I had no idea for quite some time.  The water start backing up in my buildings hallway.  It didn't occur to me that the wet carpet outside my unit was something that was my problem.  I had my father came over to help me move the fridge and attempted to turn off the water from under my sink...but the water still continues to flow, and I must empty the bowl every 4-5 hours. 

Today I decided to run into Home Depot to get a replacement hose and connectors.  For the three items they guy picked out for me, it was only about $8.  It was simple enough to put the connectors on the plastic tubing...but I was not able to get the original hose off the back of the freezer.  I even used a wrench.  Didn't budge.  I was a bit disappointed. I really wanted to do this on my own...you know as part of me being an owner of some sort of property.  I would have been impressed with myself, and I am sure my Dad would have been as well, as much as he would tell me I didn't have to do it on my own.  Unfortunately for me, my father is not available until probably Monday to fix it.  So until then, the fridge is in the middle of my tiny kitchen, the bowl is collecting water and I feel my space is in such disarray.

So aside from that nice guy I mentioned I needed - I will have to add to that list someone that is strong and somewhat handy.  I can do a lot by myself, but it is nice to have someone to do work - like my father.  Yeah, that is right, I guess I want a man just like my Dad, but you know...younger and not related to me!

Expiration Dates

First, welcome to some new followers! I was SO excited to see I had a few more.  Yippee!!

I am really inconsistent when it comes to things expired.  I will not take a medication that is more than a month expired.  I will not drink milk a day past the sell by date.  Mayo gets thrown in the garbage right away (but I also don't really like it). And food I cooked/left overs I will keep for a week before discarding.

But on Wednesday I was preparing my chicken for the week and I split it up.  Half the chicken I rubbed in Pampered Chef's buffalo rub and splashed some Red Hot on it with some hot Chili Sauce.  The other three pieces I decided to marinate in A1.  I forgot how much I LOVE A1.  I love it so much, that I bought the HUGE bottle from Costco, which is kinda crazy because I live alone AND I rarely make/eat meat.  I saw it in the fridge and looked at it...and it was expired in late 2009.  I thought about the date for 2 minutes, looked to see what else I could use and came up empty handed so I shook it up...marinated my chicken and baked it in the yummy brown sauce.  Then I put it back in the fridge. I didn't discard the nearly full bottle.  Today, right now, I am eating my chicken and it is good. 

So, if I don't post this weekend I probably died from expired A1 - but I think that highly unlikely.  Why is it somethings affect us differently, like expiration dates. I know it isn't 100% accurate, how can it be, it is a rough guess when something may no longer be good.  Way back in the day there wasn't expiration dates, I guess you just smelt it, the consistency changed, mold grew, or it just didn't work right that is when you knew to dispose of it.  

Are there any products you refuse to use past an expiration date...or that you use well past an expiration date? Please tell us!

Catch me a match!

Last July I blogged about match making and how it would be a great thing to try...but it is so expensive.  Guys are pre-screened, so I have a better chance of finding a guy that won't try to rape or kill me the first night I meet them and since you have to pay more money for this service...you might meet people that actually want a relationship and the dates would be way better than something you just blog about the next day.

My local magazine does something like Groupon.  You know how addicted I am to that, a deal a day? What could be better?  Well, my magazine had one on Valentine's Day for a local match making service.  The deal was 40% off the registration fee then there is a monthly fee that remains the same.  Right away I started to look at the company website, but it was so non-professional and amateurish.  But I decided to buy it anyway.  Since they are new and probably don't have a huge selection of clients, the fees range from $100 - $500 per month (I am going with the $100) and you must commit to at least three months.  I figured at least someone will be helping me and it is WAY less than most other ones.

I will keep you all posted on what this experience is like.  But please cross your fingers or say a prayer for me that I will meet a guy that is: somewhat attractive, nice, supportive, interesting, educated, has brown hair, family goals, OK with me being a stay at home wife, loyal and doesn't have/want pets - oh and a decent size pecker and is a good kisser.

For those that are somewhat local to me (and there are a few of you lurkers out there) you can get in on the action too.  The website is http://www.catchmeamatch.com/

Day 16 - Someone or something you definitely could live without

There are two people I could live without:  SI and his ex-mistress and whatever else she turned out to be.  But, the 'nice' person I am, I am not going to name names. I was thinking about posting a picture of her...but can I do that? I mean, sure technically I can....but can I? I don't know.

So, until I am ready to find out, I will have to pick something else I could live without and I am choosing acne.

I was around 13 or so when I started getting small pimples on my chest and back.  I didn't know if they were sweat pimples or what.  My parents would bring me to the dermatologist and they would give me some sort of cream.  Eventually the acne spread to my face and I would have lots of small bumps and then some regular pimples.  Sometimes the creams needed to be refrigerated - which never worked because I was lazy and hated going back downstairs after I washed my face, and some others that worked for a while.  When those didn't work anymore, my Mom bought proactive, but three steps? Seemed a bit much and after a while I gave up.

So most of high school I still had breakouts.  Right before my period, I would get a huge one.  I would look at other people and wish that I had clearer skin.  Somewhere along the lines, my face cleared up. Could have been when I started taking birth control pills, I don't really remember.  For a while I was just a pimple here or there.

My face looked fantastic, but I hated all the hair, so I started having laser hair treatments which I loved.  Looking and feeling great, I then  decided one day to go to a makeup counter and tried a new foundation.  I remember it was a holiday party and I was itching my face.  I didn't think much of it that night, but over the next few weeks my face went from really itchy to really broken out.  OK, so I deduced that the new foundation was a trigger, but apparently it was not just an allergic reaction.   My face got so horrible, if I thought that the puberty pimples were bad, I had no idea...and the worst part? I was like 22 and had a job...so it was horrible and embarrassing.

My new dermatologist (not the one that did the laser treatments) put me on Accutane.  So for 5 1/2 months I underwent blood tests, restricted diets and so much medicine.  It was a really hard 5 months.  I went from a size 6 to a size 8, my triglyceride levels skyrocketed (a normal but bad side effect) but I started seeing a difference.  Once that cleared up, I started to only wash my face with Cetaphil soap once or twice a day. I went back to my original foundation that I trusted and things steadied out for a long time. 

However, even in my twenties and still in my thirties I still get pimples on my face and my chest.  No where near as bad as it once was, but still such a horrible thing to go through as a single adult.  I try not to wear foundation anymore and I use the Cetaphil still when I am in the shower, and other times when I remember I use 2 of the 3 steps of ProActive, but not on a regular basis since I don't want it to dry out my face.

I have always wanted to fix two things about me...my body shape/weight and my complexion/acne. 

I haven't looked up long term side effects of Accutane, but I swear it is what has caused my body to be the way it is now.  My triglyceride levels did go back down...but never to normal, but always slightly above.  I was never able to loose that little bit of weight that I gained on the medicine - and in fact even went up to a size 10. 

So for those of you with fantastic skin...appreciate it because there are so many of us that don't.  Acne go away!

I'm Mine

Agh, the dreaded Valentine's Day is upon us yet again.  For the single person, this holiday rates in the top worst three holidays of the year, perhaps as #1 for many. 

This will be year number 2 that I will not get flowers on this day.  Hmm, Denise, why is that if you have been single for 4+ years now - the math doesn't add up?  Well, let me tell you followers, that for 3 years after SI and I broke up, he still sent me flowers...because he 'loved me and we will be together soon' or something to that effect.  One year I actually threw them right into the garbage.  That psychological torture finally ended last year and it was the first year I did not get flowers.  At first I was a little saddened by it, but then I realized that it was a good thing.

Yesterday I was out buying lots of gifts for babies/friends/birthdays that when I stopped in the grocery store, I picked up these:

I love flowers. It was one of the things I loved getting for no reason.  So I decided this year I would not go without flowers on Valentine's day.  These happy flowers started cheering me up yesterday and this morning when I saw them sitting on my counter.  Every once in a while you need to do something for you.  So, I urge all those single ladies out there to buy a few flowers and brighten up your place. I guarantee they will make you smile. 

Remember to take a few moments today to tell yourself some of your amazing qualities and reasons why you love being you.  You don't need anyone else - and ONE day of love is not a true representative of the love you have the rest of the year.

OK - side note.  It is 8:40am and I got a text from Cop#4 wishing me a Happy Valentine's Day...do people do that?  I mean, we had ONE date.  Is it like Thanksgiving when people just go around telling that to everyone? 

For those of you in relationships or have kids...I hope you enjoy this holiday with your loved ones.

Day 15 - Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it

Aside from the necessitites (food, shelter, clothing) there are other things we think we need but don't.  When I think about selling items or buying things, I have been trying to be a lot better about will I use it alot?  Why do I want it?

Since I am broke, I don't have a home phone, just a cell phone.  It has been wonderful however, I loved the simplier life from before we had cell phones.  YES, when I was young, only the rich/business men had those kinds of phones.  Now, I feel like the cell phones are a nusiance.  People think they can talk anywhere.  People text while walking, driving or on dates, etc.  I lived with out them before, so I would say that I can live with out it again if I had to.

The Internet has been amazing, and while I wasn't exposed to it until high school - I don't wan to live without it even though we survived just fine before then.

So, that leaves me with my other hobby of watching TV.  I had a TIVO which I loved.  It was pretty awesome.  However, my problem was that the TIVO didnt work with my new high definition TV.  What to do?  For a few weeks I went with out it.  It was really hard.  I try to keep busy and I started to watch a lot of TV so I started to miss a lot of shows.  Cablevision has a DVR that is part of the cable box, so I am willing to pay an extra $10 a month for this recording service.  It is so worth it.  So I am going to go with having a DVR.

I know that sounds absoltely horrible, but when you don't have a lot of friends, don't have a boyfriend/husband and you worry you will be alone all your life, you know that the TV will be there, even if there is a lot of crap on it (and I only get basic right now).

Day 14 - A hero that has let you down

I keep staring at this day's question.  I have never really thought about my heroes but my heroes I guess would be the men/women that risk their lives for us in a variety of different professions.  But they haven't let me down yet.

My parents, aunts & uncles are hero like in that they taught me what I think of relationships and families.  They are still happily married - and haven't let me down.

So who has let me down?  Well, SI did.  But he wasn't a hero by any means.  Who else?  Well, some friends let me down over the last 28 years or so...but again they weren't my hero.

I guess my answer will have to be that this has not yet applied to me.  Perhaps when it does, I will write about it.  Sorry Folks.

My Immediate Challenge: The Lovers

At my monthly potluck yesterday, we had a tarot card reader come in.  For $20 she read our cards in an open reading (not question based, but general).  My reading lasted all of 7 minutes.  It wasn't a great experience (I've had it done about 5 times) but the cards that showed up were quite good and many were major arcana. (long term energy, big events in life)



From How Stuff Works - Angel Paths



The first card (present) was the sun - the breakthrough card.  All that time of wondering what if...yes, it will come.

The second card (immediate challenge) was the lovers.  While this card is quite exciting for me at this point in my life, it does represent a dilemma, whether it be my choice between lovers or some other intimate relationship. Either way I will struggle with temptation and hope that my morals will bring me to the right place.  She said perhaps the choice between someone flashy or someone more modest.

The High Priestess was a card - I think in spot #3 so she related this to the an intuition, perhaps that I have morals that I live up to.

Having just looked up that picture from above, I wish I payed more attention to the card positions.  The next set is just what I remember.

She said my financials were in balance (I think not, but I guess I could be less fortunate. maybe balance = zero) but I dream of being wealthy - and it just might come.

That there is a high energy kid in my life I need to watch out for.

The Page of Swords - That there is something that I am trying to figure out, but I need to do more research on it. 
That in my relationship (I guess future one) I will struggle with wanting to see the person more than I can for a while.

My tenth card was the two of pentacles - which is about juggling, flexibility and having fun.
Trying to attain balance.

Well, this post ended up being lame since I don't remember much of my reading, granted it was only 7 minutes or so.  But we will see what happens. I am really looking forward to seeing if I find not only one guy...but two! And how to chose between them.  Also the money part is pretty great since I need some of that.

I am not going to sit here and wait for these things to happen, of course I am going to continue doing whatever it is I do.  And in a few months, when I re-read this or think back, I get to smile/laugh that some of it might have been accurate.  I am not taking it too seriously, it is just something fun.

LOL

McGriddle Pants over at Serenity Now!! Insanity Later...gave me the LOL award because she loved that I got a hickey in my 30s.  McGriddle is a pretty awesome gal so be sure to check out her blog.

The rules of this award are to share seven new things and pass it to seven people.

1. I bring my lunch to work with me 98% of the year
2. I have a hard time with scents (perfumes/candles) but I do love vanilla and pumpkin
3. I don't really like bananas
4. I had braces
5. I love getting flowers for no reason
6. I love wine. I prefer Cabernet Sauvignon for red or Pinot Grigio if white...but I will drink anything in between
7. I love Billy Joel and Rob Thomas (and the old Matchbox 20)

Now for the seven people I will give this award to:

1. Shelly over at Shelly's Musings.  No doubt she will make you smile/laugh as much as she does to me.  One of my absolute favorite blogs.
2. Marianne over at Diary of a Fickle White Woman.   One of the first blogs I started to follow.  Marianne has funny stories.  Lately they have been more serious, but we all go through times like that (especially me).
3. Denise at Somewhat of a Spectacle. Some of her dating stories are great.
4. Haley at No Pressure No Diamonds.  I am a new follower, but after reading one post, I was hooked.  I found her from Shelly (#1 above)  I don't think she has any idea about me...but whatever, I still think it is funny enough to send to you guys.
5. Sarah at Oh, What the Crap.  Stories of the kids are great.

Hmm, I read more blogs. But those are my top five funny ones.

Is it 1994 again?

Monday night I had nothing planned - but as things just happen to work out, a friend (the boy who called me chill) was in NYC so we met up after work.  Having told a blog friend about the view restaurant/bar in the Marriott Marquis Times Square (a rotating rooftop restaurant), then I was at that same hotel for a conference two weeks ago.  So, I told this friend that we should go there.  We got there in perfect opening time.  We ordered a drink first, then a bottle of wine.  The full rotation took an hour, and we had just finished our bottle of wine so we left to get something to eat.  We ended up at a Thai restaurant that was good, and ordered another bottle of wine.  Friend was very drunk, I was buzzed.  No surprise I can hold my liquor!  It was already 10pm and I knew I didn't sleep well the night before and I had blind date #2 scheduled for Tuesday.  But things took a surprising turn and I ended up with this:

I haven't had one of these since 1994 when I was about 15.  I called in sick to work and had a bit more fun today.  The blind date cancelled, the boy who called me chill hung out a good part of the day and I dropped him off at the train around 2pm. 

Tipping my hat to Cinderella

While many of you went off to Superbowl parties or just stayed at home...I was cleaning an apartment to prep for a party and helping during the party.

Last week my Aunt asked if I wanted to help her and since I didn't really have much going on, a little side job sounded good.  We could all use a few extra pennies.  I was to be picked up at noon, we'd get there before 1, and then scrub scrub scrub, then wash up, then help with coats/food/drinks and garbage during the party.  Sounds easy enough?

Well, we get to this apartment. It has 10 bathrooms, 2 kitchens, 2 huge living rooms...and then of course hallways, entry ways, etc.  I figured these rich people's place wouldn't be too hard to clean, but I was a little wrong.  Things were a bit run down.  I am sure 10 years or 20 years ago the place was beautiful, but now it was dated and cluttered.  I am not into cleaning, I barely clean my small 750 square foot apartment. I mean, don't get me wrong, my place isn't dirty, but it isn't immaculate.  I do clean and straighten up all the time, but that heavy duty cleaning...yeah, I haven't done that yet.

I am assigned the two kitchens and then in the two living rooms to vacuum all the furniture and floors.  This must be done in 4 hours.  I swear I have never worked so hard. I was sweating like you wouldn't believe. At one point I thought I was going to pass out.   On top of this heavy labor, they had four cats and I didn't stop sneezing which made me feel more run down.  While my sister was arm deep in bathroom gook, I just scrubbed the outside of the cabinets, outside of the appliances (both of which haven't been cleaned since Superbowl last year), the floor, etc.  My arms were shaking.  Next was vacuuming the cat hair...I almost puked in the vastness of it in one small area.  Seat cushions smelled like urine.  The apartment was musty because they NEVER open a window...they prohibit it.  And the clutter - amazing. I am glad I didn't have to clean the 8 shelves with all the super expenisive amall knick-knacks - I wish I took a picture.  But that clutter was everywhere.  There was just so much stuff. It really took away from the space of the apartment. I, myself, would never be able to live with so much crap laying around.  I think that it would stress me out more seeing that.

OK, so these rich people never learned how to clean up, I kinda get it. It is hard, since I wasn't raised like that - but I get that other people never picked up a paper towel or bowl before. 

The couple was really nice.  They told us what they wanted done and we did it.  They were prepping for the party at the beginning, but then they were done, while we still had at least 2 hours left.  I know if I was throwing a party, I would help get everything ready - just to be sure it would get done.   But you know what the lady did?  She was working on a Christmas puzzle!  And at one point, in one kitchen while I was prying off one years worth of a spill on the cabinet wall, she tells me to move the salt & pepper shaker to the other table.  I get that I am the help...but that is simply a matter of non-excursion on the way she was walking next.  Time was crunching!

So after we clean up, and I feel like I was going to fall asleep from exhaustion, we clean up.  She provides us with a football jersey of our choice from teams and we are ready for phase 2...the party.  I loved this part. Always have. I love working a party behind the scenes.  Have things ready, pass around food/beverages, pick up plates, cups, etc.  It doesn't really involve talking to other people, which is probably why I like it.  I can smile and just walk away.

When the game ended, the three of us are zipping really fast cleaning up.  We cleaned up 2 rooms during the last quarter, but the last scramble to get everything done before 11 was intense. Again, the sweat starts beading at my forehead.  I am sure I smelt.  I am in the kitchen again washing and drying dishes and the couple comes over to say goodnight and thanks me for my work...they are off to bed!  I seriously just couldn't believe it. 

The view from their huge apartment was amazing.  The work was hard.  I am excited about the little extra money I made...but was it worth it? I really don't know.  Would I do it again? I really hope not!  Today I got to work and figured out how much I was going to make.  12 hours (1 1/2 real work days for me) and the total....and it is a bit LESS than I make at my job per hour.  Can I actually say I was HAPPY going to my real job today?  Yes, a little bit!  It really put things in perspective. Yes, Yes, it is extra and I am happy...but I give a lot of credit to Cinderella and all the cleaning people out there.  That kind of work is no joke.  Cinderella might have been forced to do this kind of work by an evil stepmother, but we were both dreaming of finding a rich guy to not make us clean like that forever!  

Game Review: Scattegories & FITS



source

I was introduced to Scattegories back in middle or high school.  What a fun game, that always leads to small arguments. 

The game has supplies for 6 people.  Everyone gets a folder which has an answer pad and the category cards for the rounds.  One player rolls the 20 sided die and starts the timer. The goal is to come up with a word that starts with the letter for each of the 12 categories for that round in 3 minutes or less.   At the end of the three minutes, you compare your answers if someone else has it, you must cross it off. If it is original you get a point.

My family plays that you can get two points for an answer that uses that same letter twice like "Peter Pan".  Even though we have been playing this game together, my sisters & I, we still argue over what does / does not count. I am generally on the No side of their responses.  Can't use an adjective before like "Blue glitter".

I have the older version of the game, but apparently the categories have been updated, which is always nice. But many times you play this game, it changes based on the letter rolled or who you play with.




source

 Ravensburger FITS is a strange name for a game, I now just call it FITS.  I found this game in December and needed to buy it.  I loved, loved, loved tetris.  And this game is similar but you can play with up to four people.  Everyone gets the four levels of boards, and incline and the puzzle pieces (which are the same for everyone).  You start out by picking your starting card, and from there, everyone has to place the same piece on the board to leave the least amount of spaces (or in later rounds keep certain spaces open).  Unlike tetris, where you can slide a piece into an opening...you can not do that in this game, which makes it a tad bit more challenging.

It is fun to see how everyone arranges their board. 

I am a sheep

Chinese New Year was yesterday, so it seems appropriate to write a little something about the Chinese Horoscope.

Back in December my co-worker and I were looking into the Chinese Gender Prediction Chart, which led us to our Chinese Horoscope.  I am a Sheep (or lamb depending on the site).

I was not to surprised with how accurate some of the information is; they have been doing this for hundreds of years.  My only questions I guess is that growing up, most of my friends were in the same sign as me - but yet we were all so different.  I know that based on the astronomical signs, your persona changes too...but considering this is a blanket information for my year - it really fits me perfectly.

"Sheep simply want a bit of peace.  They enjoy carrying on with life in their own quiet, individual way, content to be in the middle of it all rather than leading it.  Sheep are quiet and calm people. They enjoy cultural things and focus much of their energy on artistic hobbies.  Sheep are easygoing and relaxed, happy to be going with the flow." [I have been told by a few people that they love how relaxed and easy going I am - and I don't even realize it most of the time]

"Sheep are nurturers.  They enjoy taking care of other people.  Their personalities are quiet, reserved and soothing." [yes, that is me to a T.]

"An Earth element gives the Sheep a grounded effect. Although he struggles with a lack of self-confidence, this Sheep is a very stable person.  They are independent and practical, leaning more towards conservancy than liberality. An Earth Sheep's family is his most important assets and he spends his life working hard to provide for his loved ones."

"Sheep truly enjoy being at home.  They spend their time there doing arts & crafts, cooking & knitting.  Sheep are most comfortable on their couches in the privacy of their homes, relaxed and tranquil." [Oh good, it isn't me just being lazy, I was born to like staying at home]

"As Sheep find safety in numbers, they also like to travel with other people.  Sheep enjoy guided tours of artistic places like museums, gardens or theaters.  They are also drawn to water and thus enjoy vacationing at the beach on on a cruise." [Absolutely, I love to travel, but finding someone to go with me is hard.  Sometimes I don't go anywhere just because I like to have company]

"Sheep make great hosts...They like throwing parties, but do not want to be in the spotlight the whole time.  They are sociable creatures, but they must really get to know you and the territory before engaging in any sort of committed situation....becoming a close friend of the Sheep is a taxing process and many do not have the patience to wait. Consequently, the Sheep has many acquaintances and few really good friends." [This couldn't be more true]
          Best Friends:  Rabbits and Pigs
          Mortal Enemy: Oxen

"Sheep are natural caregivers....They expect their children to use their manners and to be polite and respectful of others.  Sheep generally have long lasting, healthy relationships with their own parents.  They often settle down close to where they grew up or close to their own parents.  Often, Sheep move elderly parents into their own homes to care and nurture them back to health." [My parents always said I would be the one they chose to live with over my other sisters when the time came, and of course I agreed]

"Some parents immediately click with their children and others find they never will...[I worry about this often, so it was funny to see this on here.  Looking through the compatibility ratings, the following are when I should have a child] ***easy bonding   ****on the same wavelength
2011: Rabbit***
2012: Dragon***
2013: Snake***
2014: Horse****
2015: Sheep***
2018: Dog***
2019: Pig****

"Sheep do not like being alone.  They are very family oriented people.  If you do not like children or big families, Sheep are not right for you.  Sheep will give themselves entirely to the right person and will do everything they can to maintain a stable, loving, happy relationship. [I know this is true based on my last relationship]          

"Even though Sheep can be clingy and self deprecating, they are loving creatures who make great romantic partners.  They are compassionate and kind, genuine and affectionate.  A Sheep needs a partner who will be supportive and attentive and who help him develop his self-confidence.

Best Partners: *dispute  **keep working at it   ***intense sexual attraction  ****angelic
Rat:  Sometimes tough, but keep at it. *
Ox: may be physically attracted but that is it.  *
Tiger: both walk on too many eggshells to maintain a stable partnership **
Rabbit: mutual respect, understanding, points of view.  Heavenly match. ****
Dragon: Sexually attracted but not mentally or intellectually. ** [cop#1: wow, how accurate is that??!?!]
Snake: Great friends and even better lovers *** [SI: we were very compatible where it mattered]
Horse: Love at first sight becomes so much more  ****
Sheep: You understand each other perfectly ***
Monkey:  **
Rooster: A lot to overcome, may want to reconsider *
Dog: A tiring union *
Pig: make great companions ***

What is your chinese horoscope sign? Do you think it is accurate?
Information from http://www.usbridalguide.com/special/chinesehoroscopes/Sheep.htm

Plenty of what?

My blind date, cop#4 messages me the other day and asks if I'd like to have dinner with him.  My response, "dinner sounds good. Busy week, I am only free this Friday or any day next week except Wednesday".  To which he responds that he will get back to me regarding his schedule.  Now it is 3 days later, no response (not that I really care) and I started booking up my nights.

But I was sitting at home thinking, I am not remotely attracted to this guy, as nice as he might be.  Do I just start dating him because we were set up? no.  Do I keep seeing him hoping he will grow on me? Maybe, it has happened before.  But if I am going to start dating again...I had hoped it would bring me better suited men.  Granted, it has only been ONE date, but have you read about my last 2 years? Exactly.  So...if I am going to date a not-good looking guy with a really difficult schedule, why can't I find someone else? 

Against my previous statements that I gave up online dating because it hasn't really been a good fit for me - I decided on Tuesday night to sign up for http://www.plentyoffish.com/.  It is a free site, so it does worry me the people on there, but I figured, it can't be that much worse than being set up on a blind date with someone that isn't attractive.  AND my goal is to have at least a date a month AND it doesn't cost me anything.

I put up three pictures (all which are on this site somewhere) of me and wrote a very brief intro since guys don't like to read.  And I know this because of things from the past...but also in the last two days people will email me - and I am not prejudice when it comes to equality, but I want to date a white guy.  And, so many non-whites are messaging me.  People out of my age range, etc.  I got to the point where I am not even going to respond to those people, that is too much work. 

I did get one email - from the best looking guy to date - soliciting me for sex.  I know I told you I would like to start having sex somewhat regularly again...but I am really not the type of person to just meet someone for that purpose (which it also says in my profile).  But the guy & I email briefly yesterday, and it is kinda funny...so I'll keep it in the back on my mind.  He is only 26. 

Am I willing to meet up with anyone?  I don't know yet, but I will be sure to keep you updated.

Denise versus Head Lice

I got a text yesterday from sister #2 that sister #1 needed help - her 3rd kid has lice.  She was not going to go over to help, but maybe I would be brave enough to do so?

As I am eating my dinner, I think about this.  I really really hate bugs. I am scared of them...so how can I possibly help?  But, we are family, so I call her to ask if she needs OTHER help.  Dinner, laundry, whatever...so I go over there.  Before I leave the house, I pull up my hair and wrap saran wrap over my head.  Then I apply a shower cap on top for extra measure.   I live in an apartment and I don't want people to think I am crazy, so I put my jacket hood over my head (no hats...since it could pull off the plastic). 

I arrive and am first asked to look through the Dad's hair, I applied a rubber glove and began my work...OK, that is easy it is short and I wasn't expecting to find anything.  Then I do help with Kid#1 thinking...he probably doesn't have it either - but really I just held the flashlight for my sister, which was really easy.

While my sister was re-looking through Kid#3's hair, she asked if I can do Kid#2...a girl with long hair.  So, I begin meticulously looking and applying step2's gel.  It takes a good 30+ minutes.  My sister informs me that my mom was going to stop over to help after dinner (it was already 8pm) - and I was shocked that she didn't trust me...although, how could I blame her, I don't like bugs/insects!  Next I looked through my sister's hair...she was fine, the only thing I found was her first gray hair.

Then I start helping with Kid #3.  Even after steps 1 &2 were completed...we were still finding live lice and eggs.  I have a fairly steady hand, so I took the tweezers and just plucked some hair out that was infected.

I also had this great idea.  Way back in the day, Kid #1 received a CSI kit with a microscope, so I had him find it and I put a lice in the glass plates and slid under the scope...ohhh all those biology classes from college starting to come back to me.  Unfortunately the microscope is very low quality and it was difficult to see - but we were able to see pieces at a time (like the head).  Every time I had it focused I showed a kid, who immediately started playing with the dials....which of course I told them they didn't need to touch, it was ready.  Even the Dad didn't follow directions!  Anyway, so I gave them a brief science lesson while we were at it.   Then back to finding lice. 

Now it is almost 10pm and I am tired...I just found two more live lice and 3 more egg sacks and suggested that my sister redo steps 1 & 2, then I headed out so I could get to sleep.

At home I unwrap the plastic off my head and fall into bed...and continue to itch my head and dream of lice all night.  Looking for lice was not as horrible as I thought it was going to be.  I was able to think that it was 'fun' to use the tweezers and see how accurate my hand/eye coordination was and try not to think that bugs are in his hair. 

Happy Blog-Anniversary to me...

Today marks ONE YEAR since my first blog post!  Now 200 posts later, I feel like I have been doing this so much longer. 

Sometimes I have so much to say, other times, nothing.  I get all these great ideas when I am in bed or walking to work, but then can't for the life of me remember what they are when I get a few minutes to type it all out.

I am so thankful for my devoted ELEVEN followers and the few you that read anonymously.  I have had an interesting year, and you were right there every step of the way.  I hope that this coming year will be more interesting reading for you (and a more interesting life for me) and that perhaps I can double my following.

It has been an interesting journey and experience, and I have become somewhat addicted to blogger - not only trying to blog regularly but reading about other peoples lives/experiences as well.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you.    :)

A happy scrapper

After almost a year, I realized I have not told you what kinds of things I do in my free time.  So today I will tell you about one of my hobbies.  I scrapbook.

About 7 years ago, my sister hosted a creative memories scrapbooking party.  I really liked it and was hooked.  I made two chronological scrapbooks about mine & SIs dating life (things we did together, random pictures with songs, etc).  When I thought we were getting back together, I made an ABCs of love scrapbook (which was AWESOME) - but that little shitter was away in Disney with the mistress when telling me we'd be together by New Years.  Waste of time that album, but I will definitely do a similar one for my future man. 

Anyway, I really loved scrapbooking.  At some point I realized how much money I was spending, and decided to become a CM consultant.  I wasn't really looking to host parties (I only did 2) but I wanted to be able to buy things for me.  I have been doing it about 5 years....and keep saying I need to give it up.  I must place a $X specific order every rolling 3 months.  It gets expensive considering I am already broke. 
So I get together with 4 - 6 ladies one night a month from 7 - midnight and we scrapbook.  Then every few months we (about 8-10 ladies)  try to do an all day event, such as yesterday when we got together from 10 am - 8pm.  I served lunch and dinner and it is a great time to catch up with friends and get some scrapbooking work done.

Here are some pictures of some of my favorite pages:

 

Snow day

Today I got to work from home.  And, you know what? I really did work and a lot of it.  I started at around 6:30 since I was up so I thought it would be OK to quit my day at 1:30.  It was a long day of working but at least I was in my pajamas.  I did shower, but then I put my dirty pajamas on again....well they aren't THAT dirty.

For a work from home day, I had some issues with clients.  Blah, I am really starting to hate my job. The last three days added onto 2 weeks ago!  I can barely stand it.  I keep dreaming of a new job.

SO WHY then, now that I have free time....can I not look for jobs online? I looked at TWO websites.  I got my flash drive, my resume ready to go.  But I lack the umpf to actually send that email.  I am so tired of the crap I have to deal with, you would think it would be a no brainer to actually be motivated.

Is it just because I worked my tail off for 7 hours? Maybe I just need a nap.  Can't be a long one, I have people coming for dinner tonight!

My first date in almost a year

In September I asked my friends to be set up.  If anyone set me up on a date, I'd give them a gift card or something.  One friend attempted, but a date never happened. Then in December I get a text from Cop #1 he has a man for me.  Hmm I wonder, did he clone himself?  No of course not.  So I say sure give the kid my number.   A little over a month later the guy finally texts me and I met him last night.  It was truly a blind date since we texted just details of a meeting location.  I didn't ask Cop #1 any details because sometimes I wonder how accurate that information is.

Blind dates are hard.  Well, any kind of dates are hard. I really hate the first 5 dates.  But before we get to that...lets go back to the first blind  date. 

How to find the other person?  Well, luckily for me, I chose a bar that was quite empty and there were no individual men their when I got there so I went to the bar and ordered a drink.  Eventually someone came in and well, wouldn't you know, I was the only female sitting alone - it happened to be easy last night.  Cop #1 didn't tell my date, let's call him Cop #4 for now, how he knew me.  But I was very curious what Cop #1 thought I would like in a guy, considering I am so attracted to him.  I have to be honest, I was a little disappointed.  I mean, sure, single guys are hard to come by, especially ones that are slightly attractive.  This guy wasn't hideous or anything, but it wasn't like an instant attraction (on my part anyway).  I spent a lot of time looking at his face...trying to see if it is something I could 'live' with. Yeah yeah, looks aren't everything. I know that. I am not looking for a Ken doll.  But there has to be some element of attraction because he sure isn't rich enough to fall for his money!  haha. Oh that was bad. 

We talk a lot about work and a little about other things.  I honestly never thought I could date/marry a cop. (funny though that he made #4)  The hours are tough, the job could be dangerous, and statistically cops cheat on their significant other.

The bar was closing early for a private party, so we called it a night after an hour and a half.  Granted there were about 10 other bars next door we could have kept going.  So we depart and he hugs/kisses my cheek and asks me to go out another time.  I said sure...not sure if  I was being polite or that maybe a second time would be good just to get more information about him.  He even texted me to make sure I got home OK.

I consider myself to be an average person.  My face is OK, my body needs work.  So I feel sometimes that I can't get a more attractive guy because of my body.  But the guys I go out with all think I am really pretty or are surprised that I am better looking then they thought I would be.  Sure, I am flattered, but I am not attracted to them. 

Aggh. Who knows what will happen.  So Cop #1 will get some sort of Thank You.  And I met my goal for January for having one date.  Now to start worrying about where to find Mr. February.

Game Review: Apples to Apples and Blokus

I love games.  Not mind games, but the traditional old fashioned fun kind of games.   Growing up with three sisters was fun as we got older (me in high school, older sisters in college).  We spent some nights playing scrabble or rummy 500.  We'd play games for hours.  A lot of iced tea, some snacks and a whole lotta competition.  Now ten years later we don't get to do it as often, but now that their kids are getting older, it is a bit easier.  Over the next few weeks, I will write about a game or two that we have played over the years and my favorites and maybe you'll start playing too.

The first featured game is Apples to Apples by Out of the Box Publishing but Mattel took it over.  In 1999 Mensa International awarded this game one of their 5 annual game awards.  The game is designed for more than 4 people. Everyone is dealt some red cards (depends on how many are playing).  Every round there is a reader, that reader selects a green apple card.  The green cards have a verb written on them.  The green card is read out loud and each of the other players look through the red apple cards, which are nouns, and pick one that is the best fit.  The reader then shuffles the submitted nouns and then reads them out loud.  He picks out the red card he likes the most. It is very subjective..and it is best to know things about the other people.  Once the reader selects the best card, the green apple card is given to the person that submitted it.  The goal of the game is to get x number of green cards.  

This game is also made in a junior version (it is a green box) with words/people the younger kids will know.  We have played this game so many times, and love it.  The directions say it is played for 30-60 minutes, but depending on the level of fun and the people...it can go longer if you want it to. There are also a few variations you can try too.  It is a great travel game also since you don't need a board or pieces or dice or anything, just the cards. 



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 The second game for today is Blokus.  This is my absolute favorite game.  I saw it in a special game store in 2004 and thought my Dad would love it.  I was right!  I bought the Trigon version (which in my opinion is better than the square).  So how it works...it is easily played with 3 or 4 people.  Each player gets the same shaped tiles but in a different color.  The play goes clockwise and on each turn you place a shaped piece on the board - the piece needs to touch the tip of another one of your pieces.  A tip...not a side.  The object is to get all your pieces to fit.  You accumulate points (which are bad) with how many sub-shaped piece there is (not an actual piece, but how big that piece is).   Blockus was invented by a guy named Bernard Tavitian who is highly educated.  This game won a bunch of awards including the 2003 Mensa award.  The game is fabulous, and the more you play the more strategy you develop.  Depending on who you play with, the game changes.    My nieces and nephews really like this challenging game too.  It is fun for people of all ages.

Many people I have recommended these games to have loved them, and I know you will to.  So now go out and buy these games and have fun!

Baby it's cold outside: My favorite things - Winter Edition

To get to work, I walk 8 minutes to the train.  Wait 5 minutes and then take the train for 44 minutes.  I then walk 20 minutes to work.  That is my commute, it takes about 1 hour 15 minutes door to door, one way.  In the autumn and spring, my commute is nice and relaxing and sometimes in the summer I get off the train a stop earlier and walk 1.5 miles home...just because.  But in the winter, my commute can get tough. 

I walk in it all...rain, snow, sleet, wind, down pouring rain, heat - you name it.  I only took the subway to work twice in 5 years (once when I hurt my ankle and once when I thought there would be a lot of snow, but there was none).

My office tends to get really hot in the winter from the blasting heat that I always have my window cracked a little.  Wearing short sleeves in the winter is common (and sometimes long sleeves in the summer when the AC is on).  But getting to work in a short sleeved shirt? Not easy.  Last winter NYC was cold and windy. I would make bets with myself when I was walking how far I would get before I couldn't feel my toes/fingers/ears anymore.  It didn't snow too much, but the cold wind is brutal for walks.  So this year, I was going to be 'smarter' about my commute attire. 

source (similar but older version)

I have some decent looking coats, but in all honesty, the warmest of them is a plain black one.  I wear that even though it isn't 'pretty' or professional...it is just a plain coat.  It is warm, but it isn't perfect - so I have been wearing an underarmour zip-up that really helps against the wind.  This ultra thin extra layer has been a lifesaver for me - and I originally picked it up in the summer thinking when I rode my bike it would be nice to wear (I haven't ridden by bike in years).  I am OK that I wear two jackets and sometimes a sweater (the underarmer under the sweater) - my chest hasn't been cold yet!

Next area to tackle is the legs.  I wear normal pants.  A few of my pants are lined but most of them are not.  I wear these same pants all times of the year.   I wear either trouser socks or knee highs, so there isn't much additional foot protection either. Naturally my legs get cold because the only thing protecting them is some cotton or whatever it is pants are made out of.  This past summer I knew leg warmers were coming back...so when I was at a flea market, I picked up a pair to try.  They are thin but long - so I slide them up to my knees under my pants and wear them to work.  You can barely see them, and it makes a huge difference.  I need to buy a few more pairs!

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For my hands, I have been really bad and haven't worn gloves too many times.  When I do, on a normal cold day I really love my Totes/Isotoner gloves.  They are slim and I can move my fingers easily.  When it is super cold I wear these really thick gloves that look like ski/snow gloves.  They are not ideal since they are huge, but they do help with that extra protection when you need it - and I got them at Costco 6 years ago for like $15!

As for scarves? Well, I learned how to knit after my breakup.  More on that another time...but I have a TON of homemade scarves. My favorite is a thicker wool woven big, and made really long, so it keeps me warm all over my neck.

My last favorite winter item is my LL Bean boots.  When I moved to NJ I bought these for our winter house chores (shoveling, etc).  I barely used them since I moved out so quickly and they remained in storage for 2 1/2 years.  But when I re-found them, I fell in love all over.  They took a while to break in - especially the 'tounge' part, which was rubbing my leg the wrong way. But once that corrected itself, they have been wonderful.  I walk through anything in them - massive puddles, mounds of snow, you name it.  They have good traction when its slippery too.   The only downside to them is they are huge / heavy. But considering the benefits, I don't mind.

Pomegranates

I was at dinner with a three ladies from my book club last year and we were talking about fruits.  One lady grew up in India and was talking about pomegranates.  The three American women never had one and I didn't know what it looked like.  Sure it was the in 'super food', but I knew nothing about it, and was happy that my other two friends didn't either.  Our friend got up and went to the kitchen and brought one to show us and then let us help peel it to get those seeds out.  We each popped a few out and then got to taste it.  I thought it was juicy but crunchy.  Not bad, but I haven't had it since.


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 While at the grocery store on Sunday I picked up a pomegranate on the whim.  I figured I should try it again.  So last night I watched some CBS and picked apart my pomegranate and put in a bowl.  Then I realized...I wasn't sure how else I can eat it, or if it is only for eating the seeds. How many servings is a pomegranate? 

I am a bit busy at work today, so I haven't had time to do 'research' - so, if you eat pomegranates...let me know how you eat them.  Have you mixed them in muffins?  Do you make a juice? 

Cooking away...roasted chicken

I was off yesterday in honor of MLK.  Sunday night my sisters and I got together to play some games and I went to bed really late for me (2:30am!).  I woke up and by 9:30am I started cooking.  Remember one of my resolutions/goals for this year was to plan my meals and actually cook more. I used to all the time when I had someone else to feed, and while I stayed with my parents I cooked a lot.  But these days? It is shameful. 

One of the blogs I follow Cheap Healthy Good had a post about a roasting chicken and 4 recipes that you can make to use the chicken.  See, normally I cook once on the weekend and eat the SAME thing all week lunch and most dinners.  This I thought would be a good way to get back into the swing of cooking.  So, I go to the grocery store and spent $103.  Aside from the food, I also needed some basics.  The article claimed 17 meals for $26.  I was hesitant at first since I spent so much money.  But what it really comes down to is that I bought a sesame oil for $2.99 - but I only used a little bit ~0.36 cents worth and lets say red potatoes were $4 but I only used 4, which was 1/3 of the bag.  So you get the idea on how the money part worked.  I now have some things left over to be used another time.

I cooked the chicken (with potatoes and carrots) first, since that is the main food.  Simple and yummy.  I immediately took off all the chicken and set aside.  My chicken was smaller than she suggested (and way more money) so I decided to use all the meat for the other dishes. Since I want to cook more, but don't want to do it everyday, I decided I was going to make more than one meal and then I can just reheat.  So I made her suggestions of Chicken Picadillo - which was super fast & easy and I made the Sesame Noodles and Chicken Curry.  All these dishes were easy and fast.  And since it is hard to eat with out tasting...I tasted it all.  My favorite of the three was the Chicken Picadillo.  My least favorite is the Sesame Noodles - I mean, it is good, but it is cold and I don't know, lacking something. 

The chicken chili looks really good, but that requires me to do a little more work since I didn't buy canned beans, but the dry ones (to help reduce the sodium) and with dry beans comes more work of soaking - and I am not too familiar with that.

During all this I decided to also make my own chicken broth.  I normally use bullion cubes since it is easy and way cheaper than the pre-made canned variety.  However, since I have high blood pressure, bullion cubes do not come in reduced sodium and those big containers are almost $4 (I just made lentil soup on Saturday and used two of those containers!).  What an undertaking!  I threw all the bones and skin and small bits of chicken that didn't come off in with carrots and an onion.  And that had to simmer for at least FOUR hours.  Holy crap.   I didn't know exactly how much water I could have added to keep the full flavor - and I wasn't prepared as far as freezer space and storage solutions.  But since I had four hours and some of it I was also cooking, I had to call my mom to see if I can keep some of my already frozen food in her extra freezer for a week or two.  When it was finally 'ready' not that I knew what to look like, I put the pot in my sink with ice cold water to bring down the temperature and then ladled the broth into a strainer and then poured that into quart size zip locks (about 2 cups in each bag) and in some Tupperware containers.   It will be worth it and I am actually planning on doing this from now on!  I'll be saving money and it is healthier.

Anyway, from 9:30 am - 6:30pm I spent most of the day cooking for the week and I can't wait to eat some more of this.  Depending on how the next few days go, I might need to not be so ambitious next time (since it is just me eating it all) and maybe figure out if I can freeze part of the cooked chicken (or really how to defrost cooked chicken so it is edible and looks normal).

If you have a yummy recipe that you make that uses a roasted chicken, pass it along!

*oh, and for those that are curious (which I doubt) my mice ate the poison. I am blocking the door with my garbage can since I don't want them to get out & hopefully I won't see a furry thing when I open the cabinet...actually I didn't open it today, my Mom did. 

I named my daughter

So, I haven't told anyone this, ever: I picked out my daughter's name.  It was 2003 or 2004 and SI and I were talking about our future children.  I am trying to remember, but for the life of me I can't remember why we didn't talk about boys names, maybe we were going to be boring and name the kid after him or a father?  Anyway, we did a lot of research and we wanted something a little different but traditional.  I read so many websites and top names from the 1700s through present day (well until 2003/04).   Some names were definitely old sounding, as in it isn't bad for an old lady, but for a little kid? It was hard to imagine.

As soon as we heard it, we claimed it and swore we wouldn't tell anyone until we actually had a child or was pregnant.  Well, that never happened. So, I have been wondering for the last 4 years if I can still use the name we picked out.  It seems so wrong, but I like it.  And of course, when I said it everyday, would I think of SI?  I can't have that.  If I am fortunate to find myself a husband he & I would of course make our child's name decision together.  But, remember, I am 31 and I have been thinking about babies for a long time now.  I am too broke to really consider being a single mom...but at some point, I need to take matters into my own hands (I have previously posted about this).  So, should I go that route, where I find sperm from a bank or from someone who would donate sperm to me the 'traditional' way, and there is no father in the picture - the decision is all mine, and I could use that name.


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The name wasn't on the top 1000 names in a long long time, but today, after watching a recent movie where the name is featured - I thought I would look it up, and guess what, it is making a comeback - or I should say it has been making a comeback since 1998.  However, there seems to be some inconsistencies in its popularity on different websites.

The name means "maiden" in Greek, but there are rumors that it is actually Scottish in origin:  Cora.  And it actually sounded good with SI's I last name, but it works with lots of other last names too.  Well there you have it, the cat is out of the bag.  I figured it was time to tell, since in all reality it will never be my daughter's name.  But it will always be in the back of my head and when I hear it, I think about the daughter I never had with him or what that girl would have been like.



http://users.erols.com/dgalbi/names/us200.htm

I have a surprise house guest

This Saturday morning I woke up and started to make my To Do lists. I love lists, they really help keep me on track.  One list isn't enough. I have a calendar, a grocery list, etc you get the idea.  On my list was to clean out my fridge, which I have been meaning to do for weeks.   See, now that I live alone, I hate to waste garbage bags that aren't full, so I keep all my leftover food in the fridge so my apartment doesn't smell. 

I got rid of a lot of stuff, and as I was throwing it into my garbage (which is under my sink) I see these small brown ovals.   I look closely and curse.  Mouse droppings.  WTF?  I don't know a ton about mice, they aren't my favorite creatures.  But I did have one in another old apartment and as I was getting out of the shower, I see it running through my glass doors. I immediately hop in my bed (still only wearing a towel) and proceed to stay calm, I am way bigger than that thing...but it didn't work, and I ended up going into a panic attack and hyperventilating.

So, now that you know about my mouse fear...I see these droppings today and immediately run downstairs to the laundry room to sign up for the exterminator who, coincidentally, is supposed to come today.  I love our exterminator.  He is a nice old man. I don't know if he is doing the best work...but still, he is nice.  So I am patiently waiting in my apartment, he should be here any minute...and I wonder where that mouse is.   Well, two hours later, NO exterminator. I can't verify it is mouse droppings, although I am 99% sure and I was hoping he'd give me poison or a trap.  But I can't deal with seeing a mouse in a trap, or dead.  Although when they die they try to get outside, so that is good.

Oh what to do??   OK I just called, and he is going to come over right now special just for me (I didn't realize with the holiday it was pushed to next week).  He confirmed it was mouse droppings and put in two things of poison...and I said NO to the sticky pads.  The last thing I want to see is a furball.  He said all the food should be eaten in a day and the mouse/mice will probably die in my wall.  So I was smart enough to ask about the smell, which he confirmed I might smell for a day or so, depending on how many there are since the smell is the water that evaporates from the body or whatever.  Fun Stuff.  He did reassure me that it had nothing to do with my cleanliness (or lack thereof) but because for the last two weeks it has been freezing and they followed the pipes in.  Thank goodness I only saw it under my sick and not near any of my food/cabinets/etc.  

One of the many disadvantages of living alone...you have to deal with things that scare you.  I don't think I ever told you about my issue with bugs, but that is for another day.

My children will be fat

Yup, that is right, I am predicting my children (if I have any) will end up fat.  I know that seems crazy - but I just read in Prevention Magazine (a GREAT little publication) that because I am addicted to carbs my kid will be fat.  Check out the article - page 35 of the February 2010 edition.

What babies are fed in the womb is the 'problem'.  See, women supply their babies with the nutrients..  So, The higher the women's blood sugar then the more glucose that the baby gets. Therefor, the child develops more insulin cells.  So because of this, the baby will be born with more fat and as baby gets older it will over secrete insulin.

My mom is a little overweight, my grandmother and all her 9 sisters are overweight and diabetic.  Over the last 6 years, I have not been able to maintain the weight I would like to be.   And of course it gets harder as you get older. 

Sorry future kids. I will try my best to eat well when/if I am pregnant.

I've had it

I don't have much to say today. This week has been tough. Work has been a horror.  I've been in a horrible mood. I woke up at 3am today with what might be a sore throat?

I have a lot going on in my mind, but I can't seem to focus enough to put it into words or act on it.  I hate feeling like this. 

I already knew I needed to work on finding a new job, but I have never really gotten to the point of actually looking (well maybe last March when worked sucked just as much as now).  I hate to think a new job is the easy out.  But quiting scares me and I don't jump around so it really for me isn't an easy out, it has just been a realization of ALL the problems I am having at work and that it is no longer tolerable.  And on top of it, the salary SUCKS.  If I got paid more...yeah, I'd be OK (or at least better) with it.  But recent bachelor grads probably make more than I do. 

I am 31, but I am not living like a 31 should.  I don't know what the average salary for a 30 year old is, I don't know how many times that same average person eats out, sees friends, what kind of place they live in, what their savings account looks like. But I will tell you I fall short in all the categories.  If my other part of my life was happier and more fulfilled, I could tolerate some of the 'cons' I have now.  But to have so many, and not finding a happy medium is taking a toll on every aspect of me.

I hate that I am struggling so much. I hate that I don't get out of the house more because I don't have that kind of money. I hate that I try not to grocery shop that often to save money, and when I do go, the food doesn't last long because it is for bookclub meetings or monthly dinners.  I hate that this week I had pasta every night for dinner and dry Cheerios and applesauce or a meal bar for lunch (you would think I am thin..but not at all).  I just want to be 'comfortable'.  You know, have enough to occasionally eat out, have some drinks, go to a movie.  I've cut so much out and I have been miserable.  And people don't get it when I decline their invitations because I can't afford it.

I know my apartment is expensive in relation to my salary, and I will admit that I knew it would be a struggle, but I didn't realize how much.  I budgeted, it worked, but things come up or you spend more on gifts, or basic foods like milk and eggs and bread go up in price, as does the commute, health insurance, etc.  Selling my apartment seems harder because it is selling not just leaving it to go somewhere else. I will already loose money if I had to sell it and then where would I go?

I try not to think of things I want as being selfish. I really am not that kind of person.  But one has to be a little to be happier and then in turn they can help others more.  I'm not asking for unreasonable things, you know that. 

Hopefully this weekend, I can get off my sad/sick ass and actually put time into fixing my resume.  Looking for recruiters and thinking about what kind of job I actually want.  I have no idea, and I have no great interests so that part is really hard for me.

Wow, this is longer than I wanted, and way more unhappy sounding...sorry.

Opps I did it again

OK, this post is going to be Too Much Information.  But the reality is, it is life.  Maybe I should call it sex and the single women, but that doesn't really encompass what just happened.

My 'first time' was a mistake, as most first times are.  I was young, but not THAT young, I waited till college.  So I consider my first 'real' time with cop#1.  I liked it a lot.  We did it everywhere and I couldn't get enough.  I talked about how physical our relationship was in previous posts, and to this day, I have never felt that with anyone else. It was intense and amazing.

I then had a very brief transition guy, Allen.  I barely remember anything about our 3 months.

Then I met SI.  Over the years of being with him, I think we had a decent sex life.  Sure it varied but on average we did 'it' 6-10 times a week, sometimes more, sometimes less, it just depended. Then of course there was that little rut towards the end when it only happened once a week or not at all.  The sex was good most of the time, great sometimes and became disappointing over the last 4 years - where I wondered if it was ever really good or that our emotional connection made it seem way better.

After that I attempted with three other people. One that helped me through the breakup but I was never attracted to him and kissing him repulsed me, Doofy, and then there was Bank Boy.  If you are not familiar with Bank Boy, please read up - go to the labels.

Now, I can say "Oopps I did it again".  This guy is a bit....what is the word? Crazy? Stalkerish? Controlling?  Anyway he messages me his birthday is coming up and his wish is to 'be with me' again.  I thought about it and realized that I had sex all of FOUR times in 2010.  OMG yes I just admitted that in writing.  Scary.  Now hopefully you will have pity on me.  I don't believe in casual sex and I don't know how to meet a guy, so it just never happens.  So I said yes.  But I told him after he can not harass me and beg for more (which I don't know why he does because with the lack of practice on my end...I feel very not up to par. Imagine if I was? Or that I actually liked him?).  I know it is wrong to do based on his last actions and I know he will repeat but jeez, I need to get laid on a more regular basis. 

A note to my future boyfriend/husband...I will provide you with a good amount of sex.  I know what it is like to be so deprived and I have had three years of barely any that I need to make up for.  I want to keep my 'number' low, I don't want to mess around.  When I want to be...I can knock your socks off.  So...where are you?