Sunday, August 31, 2014

The Big Move Road Trip - Day 1

The morning of my leaving, my dad had a puffy face - I could tell he'd been crying.  We hugged each other tight before he left for work.  My mother made me breakfast and I finished loading up the car with the last minute items.  We said goodbye and I got in the car and pulled out of the driveway and I cried.  I wondered if I was crazy to be doing this.  The tears couldn't last long because I had to stop at the bank and get some cash, then the post office to mail a package of something I sold on ebay.
I drove a few miles and then I picked up a friend who would be joining me on the first half of the trip.  We drove through New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania and ended the evening in Ohio.  The first day was long and kind of boring, but I didn't plan any stops because I've been to New Jersey so many times, and Pennsylvania enough times that I didn't feel it warranted a stop now. 

In Ohio we stopped in Cleveland for dinner and to walk around the city.  As we were leaving Cleveland going towards a hotel closer to the morning activity, we hit an area where I said "wow, I can't believe it is raining so hard, it was just so beautiful" as the thump thump thump on the windshield grew louder.  But it wasn't rain.  It was a swarm of bugs.  It was disgusting.  We stopped to clean the windshield at a gas station...I attempted to clean the side mirrors and the bumper but those bugs were on pretty good (so much so that I even had the car washed a week later and there are still bugs...I need to scrub them off).

So, Day 1 was pretty uneventful.  Having a friend in the car really helped me not think about what I am doing since we were busy chatting and looking at the scenery.

Day 1:  522 miles.

Saturday, August 30, 2014

The Route

This is the route I selected.  A sine curve (sort of).

not straight at all...but that shouldn't surprise you, I tend to do things different or more complicated than they need to be.  What it boiled down to was I couldn't decide between the northern route and the southern route...there were things I wanted to see in each place.  Why should I have to pick one or the other?  It isn't like I am rushing to a job or anything.

I am a pretty organized person.  Based on this route, I created a binder of each stop and the information about it...hours of operation, fees, address for the GPS, etc.  However, what I did not commit to was hotels/accommodations.  The reason for that primarily being how much was I going to drive in one day?  What if a stop takes way longer/less than I thought?  I don't want to be stuck leaving to make it to a hotel - so I thought it would be best just to wing it.

I am really looking forward to this trip.  I am hoping that it will dull/delay the realization that I am moving.  This gives me something fun and exciting to do everyday until I get there, wherever there is.

Friday, August 29, 2014

making sure it fits

The day before departure, I starting to figure out what I can actually fit in the car.  Some of the boxes I originally packed, wouldn't fit right for maximum space, so I began to unpack and repack for a fourth time.  I even cut a big box down in height because it fit my vacuumed sealed clothes perfectly in length. 

Mostly the items brought along were clothes, a few pairs of shoes, beauty/bathroom supplies and some miscellaneous things/papers.  Everything else stayed behind.

I could have fit more in the car, but I decided to have someone join me for the first part of the trip, so I needed to make sure I left enough room for her bags and her.  All which will be 'free' space half way through the trip. I wanted to be able to see out of the back window, so I didn't pile up as high as I could have either.  I also purchased the crossbars for the top of the car, so I considered getting a cargo case, but didn't really want all that and the noise resistance noise for the whole trip and still wanted to be open the moon roof and see above.
left half back seat for friend's stuff

After everything was in I bungeed the bags so they wouldn't slide too much while driving.  I used two small blankets to cover up the stuff even though my back windows have a slight tint to it, making it harder for people to see what I was toting along.

I stored food and a cooler bag on the back ground, easy access.

It wasn't the best packing job...I am sure I could have gotten a lot more in if I tried harder...but I'd be living in a hotel/out of my car, so how much stuff did I want to bring that I wouldn't even be using?

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Picking up the new car

It was time to pick up my car.  Cutting it close, with getting it less than a week before I depart.  After our purchase agreement, I emailed the sales agent asking her to have the cross bars installed (sure, I own crossbars from my last car, but this saves me from having to order and spend the time doing it myself) and then the day of the pickup I asked if they would be able to have the remote started installed as well.  This was a much more expensive option - but when I called the place where I had my father's car done, they did not get back to me about a final price since he was unsure if it would be an extra $100 or not.  Again, pressed for time, I just had the dealer do it.

I arrived on time to pick up the car.  I handed over my plates and then met with the finance guy.  He asked about the extended warranty, but didn't push it or sell how important and great it is.  I declined.  We went over a few numbers...and that was it.  In and out of his office in 3 minutes.  Really easy.

Back to the sales lady, we chatted she gave me papers, brought me out to the car and showed me many of the functions and confirmed the extras I purchased were in the car.  She even synced the phone for me and showed me how the blue tooth worked (helpful since this is a first for me).

I drove off the lot 40 minutes after I got there.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Farewell Atlantic Ocean

I didn't really have a list of things I wanted to do before I left the East Coast, except for going to the beach.

Growing up, we went to the beach at least once a year and in my 20s I was at the beach a lot because family friends had a house on the beach. I love the sand, the noise of the water.  It doesn't take long to sit on the beach and feel so relaxed.  A world away.

Well, at least that is how I felt because most of the time I was on a private beach. And that is how it felt this morning.

My sister's family, my nephew and I head out to Robert Moses State Park.  We got there right before 8 AM so we didn't have to pay the fee.  The morning started off so quiet and peaceful.  The water was cold, but didn't stop us from going in.  The kids played in the sand, my brother in law flew a kite and my sister and I enjoyed the air and sun.

Unfortunately we couldn't stay at the beach long.  I had to pick up my new car and we wanted to avoid traffic getting home.  So we headed out about 12:30, which was fine with me because it started to get really busy.

It was enough time to enjoy the ocean one last time, for now.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

going away party

My parents really wanted to throw me a going away party, but since I am not handling the goodbyes well, I really didn't want one.  But once we talked about it and agreed for something very small and casual, I agreed.

The party was held the day after my last work day, about a week before I departed.  My aunts, uncles, cousins and my family were invited, and most of them showed up to wish me well before I head out.  My aunts told me how proud they were of me of my courage and strength to pick up and leave.  My cousins offered some tips on the long journey and sleeping in the car or camping.  They all gave me a card and some money or gift cards, which was unexpected but of course very much appreciated.

My road trip journey out there
My nieces and nephews helped my parents and sisters with the decorations.  They  turned the dining room table into my road trip, complete with matchbox cars, road signs and mountains.

They turned empty boxes into luggage decorations and put maps on water bottles.  They did a really cute job and make the party more 'fun' than serious.

My sister read a short story and pulled out matching products as the word was said.  Like, 'we ALL (laundry detergent) wish you well', 'i hope you find a job that pays a 100 GRAND (candy bar)', etc. The story flowed well and was really cute.  Some items were practical for my trip...and others, well I gave back to her to either return or to keep and eat.

As people started to leave and said their goodbyes, I cried...even though I knew I'd see them again at holidays and other family functions.

Cute little luggage decorations

Monday, August 25, 2014

did I really just quit my job?

Today started like any other, aside from waking up at 4 am.  I took the train, went to work, did work and then at 2:00 pm there was a little going away party for me.  My boss gave a really great short speech about why everyone is going to miss me highlighting some memories from the last two years and then I started to cry, it was very touching.  I thanked everyone for coming and it was because of them that I liked my job and was able to succeed in my job by working together.  I cut the cake and then people started to come up to me to say goodbye and the tears just didn't stop.  It was very touching.  And I started to think....did I really quit my job?  Is this really no more?  Will I ever see anyone again?  The last three weeks have been so busy wrapping things up at work and at home but it hasn't really set in that I am moving.

After the party I head back to my desk, wrap things up, deliver all my electronics and building pass to my boss.  I hug him goodbye and then give him a card and a bottle of wine.  Then I left 30 minutes earlier than usual.

I walked to Grand Central, making sure I absorbed New York City one last time and took the train home.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

Sugaring up the co-workers

I had to send notification to my fellow co-workers about my departure.  Most staff send the message on their last day, but my boss wanted me to send it out earlier, and I can see why, I work with a good number of them that it was more to give them a bit of heads up.  So a week prior to my departure I send the email out and was flooded with emails of shock or wishing me luck.  The out pour of so many people who said that my shoes will be hard to fill, that I brought a new level of professionalism or that they really enjoyed working with me because of my 'happy' demeanor.  I was touched.

Even if I didn't receive such sweet emails, I had planned to bake some chocolate chip cookies for my co-workers as a thank you for being great people to work with.  I baked about 12 dozen cookies and left them near my area for the day.  The co-workers enjoyed them because when I left, about an hour before everyone else, there were only about a dozen left.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

indoor BBQ

Over the last who knows how many years, my sisters have invited me over for meals or took me out. Many times I make them yummy desserts as thank yous, but I am way behind in the let me cook you dinner area.

I saw the grocery flyer for buy 1 ribs get 2 free and decided to throw a BBQ for my family on the fourth of July.  I called my sisters and asked if anyone was free that day and to come over...and shockingly 12 of the 13 of them were available, probably because of the rain.  I bought lots of food and spent most of the day procrastinating from packing to prepare for the BBQ.

As my time is winding down, I know I wanted to spend as much time with my family as possible so I can cherish these moments and hold onto the memories.  Soon enough I won't have them so near and will be aching for their company.

Friday, August 22, 2014

the 'best day ever'

Aside from saying goodbye to friends, I have my family, which is even harder.  I've been trying to spend a lot of time with them in the last few weeks, absorb it all before it ends.

I took one of my nephews to Playland where we spent eight hours going on ride after ride.  The place was empty, so we had no problems going on the same ride over and over and over again, in the front seats.  We went on almost all the rides, with the plunge, dragon coaster and the log flume being his favorites.

I am not a huge amusement park goer, but it is Playland - there is nothing too crazy there...and for him, I would have gone on anything, even the 'scary' ones for me because seeing his joy and excitement means the world to me.

The bad aunt I am, I allowed him to have ice cream, cotton candy and an Icee.  After seven hours I started telling him we should wrap it up.  He wasn't so pleased...he could have continued to ride the same few things over and over again but I was getting wiped out.

On the way to the car, he asked if we can still see a movie.  That was the original plan, but I wasn't counting on staying at Playland for so long.  But, I figured my sister could use a little more time to do what she needed to do, and I needed the time spent with him.  So we head over to the theater to see Malificent and have a little popcorn.  I am not an Angelina Jolie fan, but I loved the movie, great story.

When I dropped off my nephew at the end of the night, he said it was his "best day ever", which I still took as a compliment because he is eight and he has had some great memories.

But the best thing about him being eight, is that he will remember this day as will I.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

the end to the occasional lover

One of the people I had to see before I left was Cop#1, my occasional lover for the last 15 years.  He is probably one of the oldest friends I have, while I am facebook friends with people from elementary school/high school and can keep up with their lives that way, I haven't spoken to or seen them in years.

We rented a room at the local motel. It was a little skeevy, but it served the purpose as it allowed us to talk, order in food and have a little fun.

I was almost through with my bottle of sparkling wine when we began our last acts of intimacy.  But I have a problem with drinking a lot so quickly and crying.  I've had a lot of my mind, the stress was building up, I was starting to feel good and then all of a sudden I shed tears and they won't stop.  Cop#1 is very concerned and asks if he has hurt me in anyway over the last six years.  Of course he hasn't, not emotionally not physically.  We have this amazing attraction but it ends there, I never wanted more (well maybe 15 years ago I did...but not in the last six years).  Anytime I started dating someone, like SI or when I realized I loved ManFriend, he went on hold, he respected the fact that I couldn't cheat on them.

Aside from the physical aspect of our friendship, he has been a great resource when I needed advice.  Anything from moving out of a shared house, talking about break ups, buying a car to assembling furniture. 

While he has been pretty awesome, I've wanted to end the relationship for a while and this is the perfect time since I'll have a clean slate, a complete new beginning. 

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

in lieu of the ALS challenge, donation to Gilda's Club

The ALS challenge is blowing up my FaceBook news feed and the small parts of morning talk shows that I catch.  It is driving me crazy.  Don't get me wrong, I think it is wonderful that ALS has such a successful marketing campaign, although is it raising 'awareness' on the personal side? I don't think my nieces/nephews and many others out there who have done the challenge understand what it represents, to them they get ice cold water poured on them and a few seconds of fame on FaceBook by their friends.  But to those that get it...I think it is wonderful.  So simple, yet effective.

I was nominated to do the ice bucket challenge by my nephew, probably because I called out that I didn't think his water looked that cold.  I refused.  Instead, I went on to Gilda's Club and donated $100 (that I really don't have right now) in memory of ManFriend.

There are so many charities/associations out there for great causes and I'd rather donate to one that hits home to me.  As those that read my blog regularly know, ManFriend died of cancer in January of this past year.  I believe each time he had cancer was in a different spot, making me unsure of which cancer association to donate to.  When I met him, he was active with Gilda's Club but had a difference of opinion over an event....I was surprised when I saw to donate to them in his obituary, but that is what he or his family wanted.  Nonetheless, Gilda's club is a free support group for individuals with cancer and their families.  They offer support, workshops and social events during a period of time that is so stressful and confusing.  They have over 50 affiliates and 100 satellite offices.

I know ManFriend was very depressed after the first time and I think for a while Gilda's Club was a reason for him to get out of the house and to socialize with people in similar situations.  Then I came along...and well, he stopped going to Gilda's Club and I hope I was enough to help cheer him up, but he was always kinda miserable.  I wish I knew more about Gilda's Club when we were friends perhaps I would have pushed him to keep going.  Awareness in not only the illness but of the resources available are so important.

I hope that you too will donate to a charity of your choosing, and not one that is forced on you.

[real time]

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

deciding on a car

My car died about a month and a half ago.  I knew I needed to purchase a car before I left so it was time to start thinking about what I wanted.  My last few cars have been really old used cars with problems, but they were cheap which I needed.  Now, my priorities are different, I won't know a mechanic out there and I wanted something that I wouldn't worry about on my drive.

For the last few years I thought I would purchase a Subaru....and that was before I knew how awesome of a car it was.  So that was the only easy decision.  Most of the time, I can be quite indecisive over 'silly' things or when there are too many choices. 

I know I am not a minivan person, and would be nice, but I am so used to smaller cars.  The first time I went to the dealer I asked to just sit in a used Forester.  I wasn't too worried about driving the car because it couldn't be any worse than previous cars I've driven.  It was nice, but I worried it was too big.  So I thought the Impreza hatchback would be ideal.  I did a lot of research new versus used and went back to the dealer with my brother-in-law to check it out and for a test drive, and of course it drove fine.  The brother-in-law suggested to drive the Forester for comparison, and I left thinking I would purchase a new Impreza.  More research and calling/emailing other dealers for prices.  I looked at both new and used and options but I wasn't really finding the right combination.

With only ten days left, I headed back to the dealer with my uncle and mother and re-test drove both the Impreza and Forester, with the Forester going first.  This time I took both cars on the highway and I was really trying to observe the noise, sights, dials, etc.  I was more pleased with the Forester's outside noise but was still hesitant about the size.  But then I really looked at the measurements, and the length was less than an inch different. The real difference is that the Impreza sits lower to the ground at 5.9 inches and the Forester is higher at 8.7 inches.  That ground clearance could be beneficial in my future lifestyle, but the Impreza while lower would be easier to access the roof and anything that is stowed up there.    The Forester of course has more cargo space because of the lines of the back door/hatch...but would I really use that space aside from the move?  I am not sure.  Also a plus for the Impreza is the gas mileage but the Forester has a better safety rating.  Tough decision.

For about $3,000 price difference, I went with the Forester. Even a harder decision was picking a color.  I thought I wanted a white car...but I wasn't sure I wanted the Forester in white, seems very common and a little plain.  I also wanted a light interior so that eliminated a few colors automatically, but I didn't want black, dark blue, green, bronze, silver or light blue.  So that didn't leave many - but not bright red, but more of a dark berry.   It took the dealer about a week to get the car in...which cut it close to my second move date.

Monday, August 18, 2014

the goodbyes

The goodbyes are really hard, but then again, I knew they would be.  There were people that I knew I wasn't going to see before I left, and I felt that my card was sufficient enough to at least inform them of my departure.  But it is the other people, my two good friends, my aunts/uncles/cousins, my neighbor family and of course my family.

I've been crying more than I had hoped.  If you saw me, you would wonder if I was being exiled against my will.  I know that this is what I am supposed to do, and I know I will be happy so why do I tear up and cry when I hug my friends?  I guess it is because I was fortunate enough to find a handful of people that I really like here and I am moving to where I don't know anyone...and to give that up is hard.  It is always hard to say goodbye to people you care about.

Sunday, August 17, 2014

exit interview

My organization has an exit interview prior to leaving to get feedback on your experience and areas they can improve.  I filled out the form before my appointment and handed it to him upon my entry into his office. I sat down in the chair and we started to chat, going over my responses and why I ranked something lower and we even discussed all the high ranking responses too.  I stressed that I liked my position, the work and how great my department was.

Then he asked about my new position, if it was something similar or not.  I giggled, it stated right on my paperwork that I gave my notice because I was relocating and that I do not have a job lined up.  So, I reminded him of that, and he asked if I was sure I wanted to do that...give up a job, that is quite the risk.  But this isn't the first time I heard this, many people over the last week have asked that in a variety of ways.

Yes, now that it is sinking in and getting closer, I am starting to wonder if it was the right decision.  But yes, the answer is yes...I need this.

Towards the end of the exit interview, he explained that paperwork will be coming to be about health insurance, life insurance, investment accounts, etc.  There will be a few things to close up.

All total, I was probably in there 15 minutes.

Friday, August 15, 2014

sinking in

Little by little people at work are finding out about my resignation.  I've had a lot of people ask me questions about where I am moving, why I am moving and wishing me luck.  It's been nice but hard at the same time.  While I've been thinking about moving for a while...I really sunk in that it isn't a dream anymore, it is happening, and it is happening soon.  Very soon. Almost too soon that I am getting overwhelmed.

What I find interesting is that so many people are telling me how brave I am for moving when I have no job, no man, no friends, no place to stay.  Sure, when I write it, it does sound a little crazy...would I ever tell a friend that is a good idea?  I don't know.  As scary as it is, I know deep down that this is what I need to do.  I am not worried about failing because so what? I move back here?  That isn't the end of the world.  Sure, I've sold an apartment...but I wouldn't want to live there again.  I gave up a job...but hopefully I'd find another.  Most difficult is giving my family...but they are only a plane ride away and I will visit and with technology...who knows, maybe I'll talk to them more!

I do think it takes courage to do something like this, and I give credit to the many people who have.  It was a difficult decision, but it will be worth it in the end.

I have about three weeks left.  And I'll be working for all of it.  That isn't a lot of time left to pack, visit with friends for the last time, buy a car, get all the mail straightened out, organize my belongings, help my other sisters who are moving, plan the trip out and most importantly spending as much time with family as possible.

I am thinking about not leaving so quickly...but that means I won't have road trip friends in the car with me...but that also means that my road trip out can be as long as I want.  Tough decisions.

Thursday, August 14, 2014

thank you moving cards

When ManFriend passed away, I was left with the feeling that I didn't know if he appreciated our friendship / cared about me like I did him.  I was hurt and angry that he died and I didn't get to say goodbye.  But I realized in his way, he did reach out to me, he called me right after he got the news and he saw me twice. Even though he lied to me, he did what he needed to do so he could die knowing he saw me and talked to me and told me how much he valued our relationship at the time.

I think it is important to tell people that, and while moving is not the same as dying - I felt like I needed to tell my friends how thankful I was for our friendship, and realistically I know I won't see many of them ever again.  I had thank you cards made up notifying them of my move and thanking them for all their support, love and friendship over the years.  Aside from the words I had on the card (front or inside) I added personal messages to everyone.  Writing many of the cards resulted in teary eyes as I thought about all the great memories they've given me.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

cat's out of the bag

The week continued to get emotionally harder.  I was overwhelmed at home with all my stuff and no time to pack/clean and I had people slowly hearing about my departure, which kept leading to tears.  By the end of the work week, the executive director sent out an email to my volunteers and leadership team notifying them of my move and in response I was received emails and calls filled with compliments, best wishes and that I will be missed.  It was so wonderful to receive such sweet feedback and even a few people offered to try to make a connection in the state I will be relocating to.

The next two weeks will continue to be difficult at work as I notify more people.  While I know this move is the best thing for me, it is really hard to say goodbye to such great people and something I am so familiar with.

Sunday, August 10, 2014

life coach finale

The same day I gave notice, I had dinner with my life coach.  It was such a wonderful evening, we went out for Japanese and had a few drinks to celebrate all the progress I've made over the last four years and all that is to come.  The evening turned emotional as I thanked her over and over for all her help and support and as she complimented me on all the progress I made and how proud she was of all we've accomplished.  Seeing her monthly for four plus years has really helped me and she will be someone I miss...but I know I can always call her for a session over the phone or email her with any concerns, problems, or to update her on completing some of the other goals I have.

Friday, August 8, 2014

giving notice

Once the closing was official, I was able to give my notice.  I am required to give a minimum of three weeks notice if I want my unused vacation days.  The delay in closing pushed me back a week or two...but it is what it is, I still don't know where I am going anyway.

The morning flew by, and I knew I needed to tell my boss.  I made an appointment with him for that afternoon, and as non-nervous as I was, I stumbled and rushed through my explanation and then I teared up.  I was shocked how emotional it turned out to be, but I really love my boss, he has been so wonderful to work for and I find that is a rare occurrence.

He was shocked, the color drained from his face.  I told him I was moving out west and for that he was not surprised, he knew how much I've enjoyed all my trips out that way.  He said so many wonderful things about my work, how timely I was in completing assignments, how long it took to find me to fill the position and how hard it would be for him to fill my shoes.  More tears came down, and I was a little embarrassed about it, but at least he was able to see that I really did like my job, and I was not leaving for another position.  I told him I was still unsure of my plan but hoped to drive out there...well after I buy a car...and he was cute, he joked that if he bought me a car, I could stay here.

Before I leave work that day, my boss pulls me to the side and asked how I feel about working remotely. I was speechless, that is not something I considered.  He told me I had until first thing the following morning to let him know.

For 15 minutes I thought about this, it would be a fantastic opportunity - the ability to live in a more remote area, knowing I would be moving with a job and that I am extremely comfortable and capable with the work.  I would be a fool to pass an opportunity up if it really would work, although I was hesitant.  At my initial interview the HR department told me that my position was highly visible and that a body was needed in the office. Working from home would require some changes, but everything eventually becomes routine.  Nonetheless, the following morning I told my boss that yes, absolutely, I would be willing to work remotely.

Unfortunately he told me that the higher-ups would not approve this.  I completely understood...if it worked that would have been amazing, but I certainly didn't expect that offer.

Even more wonderful was that my boss likes my work enough that he would have wanted to continue to work with me remotely than replace me.  A real compliment.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

the closing

On Friday when I was in the car on the way to the airport, I emailed my attorney for an update...hopefully by then we would have heard if they were going through with the purchase or if I would have to relist the apartment.  He said they have the money and hope to close Monday morning.

All day Monday I kept checking my email for notification if they closed...or perhaps didn't show up again.  Finally, I received the email I was waiting for...they closed that day.  It is done. I am glad I signed over power of attorney so they were able to do this in my absence and that I didn't have to be there and see the buyers that caused me so much stress and delayed giving my notice and moving. I am so happy that it is over and done with...but yet, I really can't share my good news with anyone here.  Mountain Man left early Monday morning otherwise I knew he would have celebrated with me.  Of course I messaged my family right away!

On a break, I went up to my room to call and re-turn off the electricity.  The last order of business for the apartment. is done.  I can now move on with my life.

Monday, August 4, 2014

takeout with a view

It's been a stressful few days and all I can think about is that the move might be postponed.  But instead of wishing for that to happen sooner rather than later, I decided to pick up a burrito in town and walk to the harbor and eat at the park.

Unfortunately today was mostly cloudy and humid but I was still able to appreciate living near the water, seeing the boats and that sense of peace that comes along with it.  Something that I will miss dearly after I move.

I only spent about 40 minutes down there since I had to pack for a work trip, but it definitely helped clear my head.

Friday, August 1, 2014

another crazy excuse

The closing last Friday was cancelled and rescheduled for today.  I was hesitant that it would go through, but the few times I checked my phone throughout the day, I didn't get a message that it was off.  Work was insanely busy trying to get ready for the upcoming trip and I had to leave 2 hours early to get to the closing on time.

I arrive at my attorney's office before him, so I have a seat in the lobby.  A few minutes later this man walks in that reminds me so much of ManFriend.  He comes straight over to me and tells me how familiar I look to him and that we must have met.  It was strange because I felt the same way...but figured it was just the similar features of ManFriend; we chat about 15 minutes.

My attorney comes in and said he needed to talk to me.  I knew right away that the closing wasn't happening.  So, we sit in the conference room and he tells me their new excuse why they weren't showing up today.  Of course I am disappointed and upset.  They wasted my time, they've lied.  Fortunately, these are all emotions I am very familiar with and I've gotten much better in the last two years realizing that I have no control over these things and I can't let it upset me.  I sat there and listened to my attorney, the excuses and then I heard they hope to close by mid-month.  that is still 13 days away, plus/minus a few.  That is three months after signing the contract, 1 1/2 months after they told me they were going cash, and about 4 weeks after our first scheduled attempted closing.  The attorney advises me not to give my notice at work...but yet, I need to give three weeks - that puts me in quite a predicament with my current plans...but I am flexible because it isn't like I am going for a job at a start date and I didn't sign a lease yet.

And now, I am not sure if it is even going to happen.  We gave them until tomorrow to let us know if they are dropping out or to supply proof they have the home equity.

If they do...great.  I signed a power of attorney because I'll be away for 8 days and I can't make some times this week because of the work commitments (and I've been telling everyone since February that the next two weeks are really bad for me, that I needed to close prior to this).  If they don't....then I am back to relisting the apartment and I keep the down payment.  Sure, I'll have the 10% but that means that I'll be paying for an empty apartment for who knows how long.  While that would cover the mortgage, it also means I would be more hesitant to move not knowing how long it will sit there.  The spring market is over.  And remember, the apartment looks way better with things in it...and it is empty. I've sold or gotten rid of all my living room furniture and I am not going to buy furniture to stage the apartment a second time!  So this is NOT ideal.