Thursday, August 21, 2014

the end to the occasional lover

One of the people I had to see before I left was Cop#1, my occasional lover for the last 15 years.  He is probably one of the oldest friends I have, while I am facebook friends with people from elementary school/high school and can keep up with their lives that way, I haven't spoken to or seen them in years.

We rented a room at the local motel. It was a little skeevy, but it served the purpose as it allowed us to talk, order in food and have a little fun.

I was almost through with my bottle of sparkling wine when we began our last acts of intimacy.  But I have a problem with drinking a lot so quickly and crying.  I've had a lot of my mind, the stress was building up, I was starting to feel good and then all of a sudden I shed tears and they won't stop.  Cop#1 is very concerned and asks if he has hurt me in anyway over the last six years.  Of course he hasn't, not emotionally not physically.  We have this amazing attraction but it ends there, I never wanted more (well maybe 15 years ago I did...but not in the last six years).  Anytime I started dating someone, like SI or when I realized I loved ManFriend, he went on hold, he respected the fact that I couldn't cheat on them.

Aside from the physical aspect of our friendship, he has been a great resource when I needed advice.  Anything from moving out of a shared house, talking about break ups, buying a car to assembling furniture. 

While he has been pretty awesome, I've wanted to end the relationship for a while and this is the perfect time since I'll have a clean slate, a complete new beginning. 

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