Monday, December 31, 2012

2013 Wishes & Dreams

Last year I posted about my wishes and dreams for 2012.

These are my 2012 goals:
  • pay down credit card debt
  • start to use cash more regularly
  • volunteer
  • find a new job
  • save a little more money
  • make new friends
  • date. become more secure in my body & how it works
  • lower cholesterol & triglyceride levels
  • cook more often
  • take a vacation
  • some fun activities including:  book signing, berry picking, opera, etc.
  • freshen style
  • move/plan to move

Let's see what I did:  Yes, I paid down my credit card debt and used cash much more often.  I found and started a new job, a saved a smidgen of money, I partook in some fun activities (fire walking, camping, rope course), and I freshened my style sort of - I cleaned out my closet and donated about 10 bags of clothes and I spent a bunch of money on new clothes....still not super happy.

I did not volunteer, make new friends, take a vacation or move. I also never went for my free physical so I am not sure about my cholesterol levels.   The dating thing is tricky, not sure how to answer that, although I did go on about 5 dates with new people this year.  

I am ok with these results (considering I forgot to look at this post throughout the year); about 50% because the big stressful ones were taken care of, it was a decent year.

But 2013 has to be better.

My 2013 goals:
  • Whenever I say "I never..." write it down, and by the end of the year try about 60% of what I never did before.
  • Be more spontaneous
  • Be in the moment more...enjoy the time when there, and stop trying to look past that time.  Enjoy the person I am with, as I might never see them again. And if I don't want to be somewhere, well, suck it up and ENJOY it anyway. 
  • Move 
  • Spend less money on clothes than I did this year
  • Try 10 new foods
  • Spend less time on Facebook
  • Get my photo taken in 5 interesting places
I also have a holiday party next week where we'll do a resolution roulette.  Everyone will write down 1-2 fun resolutions and we'll put them in a hat and pick one.  Next year we'll see who actually did it.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

New Years Plans 2012

I am off New Years Eve day, so I am going to do what I do every NYE day, see a matinee, run errands but instead of getting Chinese food for dinner and going to bed early, I am hanging out with ManFriend in the evening.  Which is ideal for me because I am still keeping a low profile and staying in...but get to kiss someone at midnight.

Since ManFriend revealed that happy bit the other night, I wanted to make our New Years a nice fun evening.  Show him I care.  Last year we invited a neighbor over, got drunk, chatted about everything & resolutions and kicked out the neighbor at 11:30 so we can make out - again.

This year, I am going to order a bunch of sushi and bring over 4 bottles of wine.  I expect we'll drink about 3 of them.  And hopefully we'll have as much fun sexually as we did last year.

My goal is to get him nice and chatty after 3 drinks and talk a little bit about us - what he thinks being part of a couple means, what he expects, how often he would like to see me, things like that.  I don't think other people have these chats about defining boundaries in relationships...but with ManFriend, I think it is kinda necessary.  Maybe not if we are a couple, but when things were causal  it was needed because we were rarely on the same page at the same time.  It lead to a ton of miscommunication, annoyance and confusion.  I am also a little scared because it means I am trusting someone and putting my heart on the line.  I want to be in love...but I am not 100% sure this will last, so I am hesitant.  But I just have to go along with it and see I guess. I'll never know if I don't try.

Wow, this will be the second NYE that I am kissing the same person.  I say that is progress.

Update:  Nope, ManFriend changed the plans.  We are going to a bar at the late hour or 9:30.  I hate getting old because this sounds HORRIBLE.  I am exhausted at it is 7pm, dealing with a crowded bar, drunk drivers and eating alone.

Friday, December 28, 2012

He loves me not, he loves me?

I was making out with ManFriend tonight and he said "We act more like a couple" and I said "uh huh" and kept kissing him.  He said "Maybe we should try it?"  I reply "Try what?" (Remember I am a bitch at times).  So I expressed my concerns regarding the logistics if he is moving sooner than me.  He said we'd talk about it later.

So we go out to a bar and have a few drinks...go back to his place, and we are in bed - he says "who is going to say it first tonight?" I reply "certainly not I".   But a moment later he said it.  "I love you".


Can I say that again?  Holy Crap.

So we went from casual sex to love?  I don't think that is normal.

But am I surprised?  No, we've been doing this for 13 months.  Clearly with all my postings, I get so annoyed by him, because I expected or wanted more at times throughout the year.  There have been times I almost blurted it out myself, but I stopped myself because of two reasons - 1) was it just in the moment since how can I love someone I really don't know and 2) I couldn't say it out loud when we weren't even dating.

I am not going to lie, I never really do, I was happy about this, it means I'be been doing something right.  But can he really love me?  I know he loves being in bed with me.  We watch TV.  We go out to eat sometimes...but that is it.  Can that be love?  It is completely different from the first and only other time I was in love.

I've only said I love you to SI.  I don't take it lightly and so I didn't say it back.  I know he doesn't understand my hesitation.  He knows I feel it, sort of...he said, 'I can see it in your eyes and what you do to and for me'.

He wouldn't bother me so much if I didn't have very strong feelings for him.

He asked to hang out on New Years, so I guess we'll talk about this stuff more on Monday.  I guess I have a bit of thinking to do...and questions I need to ask what does he think being part of a couple entails?      Is he automatically a date to a wedding?  An automatic yes to a concert I want to see?  Dinner with the family on a random Saturday?  Doing his laundry?  Or the same exact thing we've been doing except exclusively.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

getting fed up

Do I dare to fill you in on my ManFriend issues?  Why not, I have no other thoughts today.

ManFriend started a new job, going on three weeks ago. Unfortunately it is a bit far and he is driving there - until he moves.  He is having a hard time adjusting to working again and is utterly exhausted.  This past weekend he told me he was going to take me out to celebrate  - and hours later I never heard from him.  Even though I asked him to call/text me so I knew for certain - you know value my time.  Well, he didn't.  I never heard from him over the weekend.  Then Christmas Eve we had a lot of leftovers so I told him to stop by and get some...but he gave me an attitude and I lashed out - I mean, who can't commit to something the SAME DAY, just hours later?

He told me I was over reacting.  He was just tired and fell asleep, and woke up at like 9...but still, I didn't get a message at 9 saying, 'sorry I feel asleep', I just got the silent treatment....making me feel guilty for reaching out.

Does this behavior sound familiar?  It should, it has SI's characteristics all over it. I would say it sounds like cheating, but we aren't together, so...

But the nice, sweet, stupid me still made him a plate of food (in fact, I gave him more food than I took home).  So he takes his food and says, stop by later....and you know, he didn't answer when I called at the prearranged time, so I went home.  30 minutes later he messaged me he was running late...I didn't go was too late.

We chatted a while back about new years - if we didn't have other plans we'd hang out...but what I am going to do, wait until 9pm for an invite that night?  I know I never go out, I hate that night - possibly because I spent most of it alone or crying when I was IN a not being in one doesn't sound much better.  Anyway, while I won't have any other plans, I feel like I can't concede again.

What is it about me that men love to want to play with, but don't want to keep?  I mean, I am a better girlfriend than friend.  I bake, cook, do laundry, am familiar with several crafts, a bit handy around the house, nurturing, etc....isn't that what makes a good girlfriend/wife?  And why months/years later do the guys appreciate it THEN, not at the time?

If I am destined to be single - then I really need to stop having casual sex.  Just give it up entirely.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

In case of my death

The last few days have been filled with thoughts of death.  I keep thinking, if I have these kinds of feelings from Kevin's passing, how will I handle someone who was more prominent in my life - like SI or Cop#1 or one of my current female friends?  

If I hear of SI's death, would I even care? I mean, sure he was a huge part of my life...but what he did to me was unexcusable   The SI I loved, is dead - someone else took over his brain and heart and he isn't the person I fell in love with - so when he passes - I might not care, because I already spent 5 years mourning him/it.  But, I might care, I probably will; because I am sentimental    

Cop#1, yes no doubt I'd shed quite a few tears.  

What it comes down to is - would I even know if someone important to me passes?  Probably not.  

I think what I am going to do, is have an "in case of my death, please notify the following people" note so my family will contact people - whether or not I currently talk to them.  Or perhaps I can send a small package to the people with a short note.  

What do we really know about death? Do we believe in angels and ghosts?  Do we look down from heaven to see who turns up at our services?  And if so, would I be surprised who turned up to my services?  Have I even made an impact on someone's lives where they would take the time out of their lives to attend my services?

I think I'll not have any kind of service...that will avoid my disappointments.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

bathroom privacy

When you are home alone, do you close the bathroom door?

I never do; what is the point, I am already alone...I am certainly not modest in the other parts of my living quarters, and have walked around naked or mostly naked when I feel like it because - why not?  So why be all shy in the bathroom?

I also have left the door open when others are around, because honestly, I don't care.  do you?

Thursday, December 20, 2012

A tribute to Kevin

This will be one of the hardest posts I'll have to write.

This month has been filled with such tragedy.  The horrible shooting at the elementary school in Connecticut  the LIE pileup, my friend telling me her father is dying, and finding out this morning that my high school friend Kevin died.

Kevin isn't just some random person from long ago.  I posted about him once here.  He will always hold a special place in my heart because I gave him my virginity.

I met Kevin at a under 21 club in Poughkeepsie in 1996.  As a twist of weirdness would have it, he turned out to be the brother of someone I was currently hooking up with.  Since Kevin was more my age, he & I started hanging out/dating (although I don't think it was exclusive on his end).  I hung out with him a lot during my senior year and especially the summer before college - we talked about his future...he was considering a baseball draft offering or going to college - I stressed college, what did I know? But he did turn it down because it was the rival of the team he admired as a kid.   I have a whole bunch of papers he signed for me as a joke, but also because he secretly desired to became famous.  Since we were young, we just spent time at each other's families houses, and making out when everyone went to bed.

As college rolled around, we still kept in touch.  One night me & my roommate went to visit him at his school, and we all got drunk - and I had my first sexual experience...a memorable night.

After that we kept in touch via letters for a little while, but like anything it faded.  Turns out he did play ball for a minor league team until he had an injury.  And at some point he lived in Hawaii for a few years off the radar completely.  As my other post said, one day probably in 2002 or 2003, Kevin found me again and we spent 6 hours catching up and hanging out.  Our paths crossed so many times; him coaching baseball at the college I went to, and not knowing each other was in the same building!  I remember when I saw him at that time how ill he looked.  I couldn't figure out what it was, he was like a skeleton and very pale.  Something was off, but he didn't say anything.  I remember walking away that day wanting to keep in touch, but I didn't.  Life with SI got in my way and I forgot.

But it never stopped me from thinking about Kevin once in a while and where he was.  Cell phone numbers changed, addresses changed.  I sent him birthday cards to his parents house..but I lost him, until last year.  We chatted on the phone for 2 hours and occasionally IMed each other.  I was so happy to hear that his life was going well and he found an exotic looking wife.  He was so happy - or so I thought.

Then on September 18th of this year he posted on Facebook he was in the city, just a block away.  I met up with him after work.  He got heavier, but don't we always? and still recognizable from the old days just a little older.  We spent 2 hours catching up.  I left there very nervous.  Something was wrong with Kevin - I have no idea what it was and he didn't say.  But he couldn't remember very much in the short term, his long term memory was amazing, he remembered so much from our time in high school, my family, my sisters, movies we watched, etc.

I am so happy I was able to get that time with him recently.  He was such a great guy, always so sweet and complimenting and he enjoyed life to the fullest.  He was one of those people that you admired in that kind of loving life kind of way.

I didn't go to the wake, but I went to the funeral mass - I sat in the last row, alone.  I needed to say goodbye to this amazing guy.

I will always remember Kevin.

Me & Kevin in Cape Cod at one of his baseball games (1998)

Kevin & Me at the beach in Cape Cod (1998)
The night of my deflowering - September 19, 1999

The last photo of me as a virgin...


How amazing is this feedback from a reader:

"i swear to god I love ur blog. its my addiction"

I really appreciate people reading some of my thoughts.  I know many times I use the blog as a diary...I get a bunch of hits, but usually mostly for the 'reviews' of things, not the everyday stuff.  I enjoy making people laugh or having them relate to some of what I say.  

So thank you, all of you, for reading.  I will continue to share my thoughts and doings in 2013 - and hope that the posts will be a little more exciting and varied - and I hope you continue to comment or send me feedback and suggestions for topics.

Happy Holidays.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

tis the season for re-hookups

It is that time of year where people are re-hooking up.  Unfortunately I am not stranger to this phenomenon - I recycle my men.  I do it because I want to keep my number low and you know what you are getting yourself into.  It makes perfect sense.

So, I have a sorta thing going with ManFriend, nothing restrictive but he constantly tells me how lucky he is to be with me, and that I turn him on, and that I am sexy as hell.

But, I've hooked up with Cop#1 about 7 times this year because he is my addiction.  We've been at it on and off for 13 years...and I love that I excite him so much.

And now, out of the woodwork I received a "poke" from Bank Boy. I didn't know you can still poke people on Facebook, but that generated a short conversation.  He suggested one more night.  But remember, he was obsessed...there is no way I can do that again because once isn't enough for him, I rocked his world a little too much.

Two days later HSK started messaging me again, first it was just catching up stuff over the last 1 1/2 years since he decided I wasn't good enough for him, but then he started complimenting me then asked to hang out.  Then more messages on different days - still filled with compliments.  We even made plans so he can show me a good time...whatever that may entail.  Normally I wouldn't go for hooking up with him again, because he was an odd conceited fellow...but no joke, his small little penis was the most satisfying and amazing sexual experiences ever.  So, why would I not try again, especially because I feel like having lame sex with ManFriend is making me forget to have decent sex.

Then comes some New Year's resolution ideas from my male friends about hooking up with them in the New Year.  I told one guy that I was open to hanging out with him again - I haven't seen him since I was friends with this girl T from college, he is/was her friend.  But his penis was HUGE...a little scary.  Add to that greesy - him and his girlfriend are rocky, so immediately he asks to bang.

Finally, the most unexpected of all was Doofy.  I never made a good impression with him in the bedroom.  His huge penis scared me, clearly I have a problem with extra large. I always felt young and inexperienced with him.  It may have been the timing too - I was a bit more insecure a few years ago.  I mean ManFriend has been with ~over 150 women, and I am not bothered with that, so just because Doofy is more experienced  I shouldn't have a problem, especially if he was willing to teach me stuff. Who doesn't love to learn?  Anyway, I haven't heard from him in a long time, so it was nice to chat with him a little bit and I was super flattered with his kind words.

What should this tell me?  It tells me that I am desirable   I mean, it isn't one person telling me I am pretty or that they want to have indecent relations with me - this is now a few of my past who know me, men who've seen me naked, men who've seen the 'crazy' Denise, the 'sad' Denise, the 'happy' Denise, the super drunk Denise, and the serious Denise.  A few men, so it can't be a mistake.  If I had a tag on me, it would say 'recommended by 9.5 out of 10 men'.

So there it is, I must be pretty awesome, otherwise these men wouldn't be asking to re-hook up with me.  Tis the season, where I might let my guard down, and just do it...with all of them.  Why not?

Friday, December 14, 2012

shooting stars

The meteor shower last night was a good show.  I stay up or wake in the middle of the night throughout the year to catch glimpses of the meteor shower and lunar eclipses, but this past year has been hard - it has been raining or partly cloudy which makes for a very difficult viewing, and a disappointed Denise.

I love the stars, looking at the clear sky and its vastness makes me feel so insignificant.  Throughout the year when i see such a clear sky, I always take a moment to look up and appreciate the moment.  the stars, the moon...wondering what else is out is utterly amazing.

Last night's meteor shower turned out to be a mostly clear night with a sliver of a moon.  I have been a little under the weather this week, and I was utterly exhausted last night.  When I got home at 9:30 I looked up and saw a huge bright shooting star...I couldn't go in yet, so I laid on the patio in my work clothes and thin coat.  I stayed like that for 20 minutes, practically freezing so I reluctantly went inside.  

I figured it wasn't the peak time until 11 - 2, so I'd wait an hour and try again.  It was so hard to stay awake, but I managed. I ended up putting snow pants on, a sweater, my coat, winter boots, gloves, a scarf and I went back outside to lay on the patio.  I started to think  -this is what all the homeless people do every night, except of course, I was in a private area, not having to worry about people walking past or stepping on me.  As I am looking up at the dark sky and see another shooting star my first thought was how fortunate I was that I am not homeless and I am lucky enough to have a roof over my head.  There are so many small things to be grateful for each and everyday, and while I worry about things, in the grand scheme I have to remember it will all pass.

My first real wish was for my friend who just told me some very sad news.  My second - tenth wish was for me to meet my future husband soon...very soon.  

I started playing this game, if I see a shooting star in the next 3 minutes, that means I will meet my future husband within the month.  If the next shooting star is bright, that means that I'll meet my future husband within 2 weeks.  every time I almost started to loose hope, zooomm a star shoots by.  

I would have loved to stay outside even longer to enjoy the show, especially after I dressed properly for the occasion this time around.  But I was so congested that I was barely able to breathe so I went inside about 11:45.

Gone Girl Review

Considering how many books I read, I don't really write about many of them.  I just finished Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn.

This book sucked me right in, and I finished it in about 3 days (6 30 minute commutes, and an occasional lunch).  It was by no means an amazing book filled with lots of thought and intrigue, but what I liked about it was about a couple, their problems, revenge, and a little craziness.

The below will spoil the book for you if you have not read it.

Right away, page 29 "They're baffled by my singleness.  A smart, pretty, nice girl, like me, a girl with so many interests and enthusiasms, a cool job (this I don't have), a loving family."  This is me...why would I not want to read on? She caught my attention, I am Amy.

The story rotates each chapter between Amy and her husband, Nick.  I love stories that rotate like this, it keeps my interested and makes me read faster.

So how the story goes is that the first chapter opens up with Nick...on the day of.  I wondered, on the day of what? but that soon becomes apparent - Amy is missing and it also happens to be their 5th wedding anniversary.  The Nick chapters tell you about the investigation and the progress of the days Amy is missing, it is 'current' day, and sheds a lot of light on what Amy is like, and a bit about Nick too.  The Amy chapters are diary entries  over the last few years, and explain about their relationship, which sheds a lot of light on Nick.  As the reader starts to figure out which of these two people they can relate more too...part 2 comes.

Part 2 starts a few twists.  First, an affair...not really a surprise if you read part one, it was clear this is where it was leading.  And then you get into a new twist on the rotating stories.  In part 1, you started to feel really bad for Amy, based on the story she was telling in the diary, and based on some of the things Nick said in his part, but in part 2, this flips around.  The twist? Amy planted the whole thing - although if you read as much as me, you knew this was coming from super early on in the book.  Amy starts to explain a whole other side of their that she is portrayed as psychotic.  Things are revealed about Nick that makes you wonder how he put up with this for so long.

Part 3 Amy comes home and continues to manipulate Nick.

So, what did I like about this book?   First, what kind of woman wouldn't want to get revenge?  Second, Amy's stories about her feelings about the husband reminded me all to much of SI.  She nailed some of the thoughts, even if they were fabricated to set him up.  Examples include how you can love someone so much but yet fear them; constantly wondering if today was the day he was going to snap and kill you; the emotional abuse; the exhaustion of knowing the person you share a house/bed with hates you; the amazement of the mistress being your opposite; realizing how stupid you seemed in the eyes of the man that you love - when he knows how he can play you and manipulate you and therefore looses all respect for you; trying so hard keeping something to work; and giving up a lot for the other person.

I can't say that when I found out about the deceit  I didn't think the things Amy did.  How amazing would it have been to set him up for something - I mean, I wouldn't fake my own death, but wouldn't i like to see him suffer?  Of course.  Amy, unfortunately, was a little crazy, but that is what I loved  - she planned and thought of everything to set him up and hurt him back.  It was genius and psychotic but there is no doubt I had a little respect.  [don't judge me, whenever I hear of any spectacular crime, don't we always say WOW at some point after we shake our heads in disbelief].

So there it is, a very incoherent babbling about a recent book I read.  I have to remember if I do this again, to jot down notes or write the blog posts in parts as I read the book.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

annoyance for not sharing feelings

During our last awkward encounter, ManFriend asked me why I never tell him I enjoy our time together in bed.  Was it that I did, after all we've been doing this almost 13 months, or was I desperate?

I didn't really give him an answer at that moment, aside from some cold, defensive thing like 'what makes you think I enjoy this'...yes bitchy I know.

But he deserves an answer, so I wrote him an email, since I can more coherently get my thoughts out with out being side tracked and with out interruption from him.

So, what did I share with him?  I was brutally honest.  I told him that my reason for not saying nice things to him was both that I am desperate, but that I've enjoyed it and I find him attractive most of the time.  But more importantly, casual sex is so freaking hard.  I never know how much is too much, how little is too little, finding that medium is hard.  When will he pull away?  Who is supposed to apologize first?  Does he really mean anything he whispers to me in bed anyway?  Why do we have so many issues when we aren't even dating?  I get nothing out of this, and sometimes I feel like a cheap whore-  no woman wants to feel that way.    If I said nice things to him in bed, am I admitting I like him - and if so, is that even allowed?  I go out of my way to do nice things for him, and I can't think of two things he's done to/for me....but I don't need to share that with you now, you've been reading this for months - and when I talk about ManFriend, I am usually venting on here.  I tried to end it a few times, but I am a sucker for seduction...but it will end in just a few short weeks, if not at our last awkward encounter and the reading of my email.

It served its purpose, it was convenient, and it lasted way longer than I thought it would.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

stealing a birthday

I hate my birthday.  I think it is because ever year when it rolls around I am reminded of how my life isn't how I hoped the year would go or that my 'plan' will never happen, and that I am getting old.  Old age scares me, and I feel like NOW is the time to live...and I am barely.

But there is one day when I am determined to have a fabulous day, and that day happens to be SI's birthday.  OK OK, I know that sounds absolutely insane.  And even though he has no clue, for me it is more of a 'see, you bastard, you aren't the only one who is going to have a great day today...damn it I am too'.

So for the last few years I've scheduled dates, had sex, took the day off and shopped, whatever.  

This year, I had high expectations.  I was just getting over a fever and knew that on that day - that it would be gone so I would look and feel good.  I took a shower, spent that extra minute on my makeup, wore something great.  I arranged a lunch with a coworker and had a good day at work.  Things with ManFriend have been off (no surprise) so I put on some lingerie and went over there with that on, and a coat with heels.  I've always wanted to do that.  Open the door, take off my coat, let it fall to the floor, and surprise!  But, it was not the reaction I hoped. It missed passion, it missed intensity and desire.  It was like, oh you are here? I totally forgot we had plans, I am tired, and well, since you are half naked I feel obligated to have sex with you.  So it was awkward, I felt like a whore but I was determined to have sex on SI's birthday - I can't break a streak.

So, it wasn't an ideal day, but it wasn't a horrible one either, better luck next year.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

a possible family extension

I am currently at a point in my life where I see a pregnant woman and I think...'good luck' or 'ugh' anything that goes along with I have no desire to want that. I hope it is temporary.

The last 10 months or so, my period became regular - a first for me in about 17 years.  As much as I am newly bothered by the period routine, at least I know I am fertile, and can possibly have a child - a dream of mine for the last 13 years.  Although I question if I really want to bear a child now, I never wanted a baby this late in my life.

So, imagine my dismay when my now regular period does not arrive this month.  I think, have I been stressed?  No, I have very little stress in my life now- a very good thing.  Have I been eating something different?  Well, aside from my new disinterest in eggs/egg whites for breakfast every morning - I can't say that anything stands out.

Of course I begin to worry about a pregnancy.  I am not good about taking my pills regularly all the time.  Sometimes I go 3-4 days forgetting when I am really busy in the evening   Sure, I have regular bland and boring quick sex with ManFriend, although he calls it making love, when we are the farthest thing from love.  We use the trusted pull out method.  So there is always a possibility.

At my job we can only change over our insurance once a year, and the pregnancy/new mother option is better in the other insurance.  Something to consider.   Additionally, I have been seriously considering buying/renting a new place, one with two bedrooms, and I wonder if it is a sign...because, after all I wanted that other bedroom for a kid.

So of course this gets me thinking.  I am not at a place to want a kid right now, I need a little more time.  And if I did want a kid - as a single mother, I want a kid, not a baby, yes, adoption/foster child.   And what about ManFriend?  We've been doing this for a year, but there is no future in it.  Would I tell him? Would I just let things fade, as I suspect they will by January 1st, if not by yesterday.  I don't want to worry about co-parenting with someone I don't want to see the rest of my life.  No thanks.

So, before I get to crazy thinking, I figure it is best just to take a test.  I didn't want to waste the $13 on something I was sure was going to be 95% negative - but there is that slight chance, that makes the $13 worth it.

I was right, it was negative.  So, one bullet down for now. I don't have to worry about carrying ManFriend's child.

So now I am thinking about my future - I still definitely want a two bedroom (minimum) just in case, and I am dreaming about my little kiddos - but I never see them as a baby, just about 6 years old.  Time will tell.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

balloon animals

When I went out shopping a few weeks ago I saw this balloon making kit, and immediately thought of my littlest nephew.  I am not sure why, maybe because we had so much fun with the paper airplane kit I bought him last Christmas.  Anyway, this year, I am not buying all the nieces and nephews Christmas presents - but I picked this up for him anyway.

Turns out this past week, the poor kiddo had a high fever for several days, and came down to visit.  Just like any parent, aunts want to do whatever is in our power to help them feel better, so I brought out the balloon animal kit.

He was so excited.  It took us a while to figure out the mechanics of the balloon.  Our second balloon we attempted to make a giraffe.  Even with the proportions a little out of whack, I think we were successful   The Third balloon we popped while twisting it.  The fourth one we turned into a dog.

not bad for my first time:

After that it was bedtime, but I really looked forward to making more the next day.  When I got back home, he runs over and tells me he broke the pump.  I crazy glued it back together, but it didn't work properly.  We were both upset.  So I went to amazon and bought two air pumps (I won't let mine break!), 250 balloons and a balloon book.  We can't wait for it to arrive so we can make more animals and swords.

I might turn this into a little hobby, making balloon animals at family parties or in a park for strangers. :)