Thursday, December 20, 2012

A tribute to Kevin

This will be one of the hardest posts I'll have to write.

This month has been filled with such tragedy.  The horrible shooting at the elementary school in Connecticut  the LIE pileup, my friend telling me her father is dying, and finding out this morning that my high school friend Kevin died.

Kevin isn't just some random person from long ago.  I posted about him once here.  He will always hold a special place in my heart because I gave him my virginity.

I met Kevin at a under 21 club in Poughkeepsie in 1996.  As a twist of weirdness would have it, he turned out to be the brother of someone I was currently hooking up with.  Since Kevin was more my age, he & I started hanging out/dating (although I don't think it was exclusive on his end).  I hung out with him a lot during my senior year and especially the summer before college - we talked about his future...he was considering a baseball draft offering or going to college - I stressed college, what did I know? But he did turn it down because it was the rival of the team he admired as a kid.   I have a whole bunch of papers he signed for me as a joke, but also because he secretly desired to became famous.  Since we were young, we just spent time at each other's families houses, and making out when everyone went to bed.

As college rolled around, we still kept in touch.  One night me & my roommate went to visit him at his school, and we all got drunk - and I had my first sexual experience...a memorable night.

After that we kept in touch via letters for a little while, but like anything it faded.  Turns out he did play ball for a minor league team until he had an injury.  And at some point he lived in Hawaii for a few years off the radar completely.  As my other post said, one day probably in 2002 or 2003, Kevin found me again and we spent 6 hours catching up and hanging out.  Our paths crossed so many times; him coaching baseball at the college I went to, and not knowing each other was in the same building!  I remember when I saw him at that time how ill he looked.  I couldn't figure out what it was, he was like a skeleton and very pale.  Something was off, but he didn't say anything.  I remember walking away that day wanting to keep in touch, but I didn't.  Life with SI got in my way and I forgot.

But it never stopped me from thinking about Kevin once in a while and where he was.  Cell phone numbers changed, addresses changed.  I sent him birthday cards to his parents house..but I lost him, until last year.  We chatted on the phone for 2 hours and occasionally IMed each other.  I was so happy to hear that his life was going well and he found an exotic looking wife.  He was so happy - or so I thought.

Then on September 18th of this year he posted on Facebook he was in the city, just a block away.  I met up with him after work.  He got heavier, but don't we always? and still recognizable from the old days just a little older.  We spent 2 hours catching up.  I left there very nervous.  Something was wrong with Kevin - I have no idea what it was and he didn't say.  But he couldn't remember very much in the short term, his long term memory was amazing, he remembered so much from our time in high school, my family, my sisters, movies we watched, etc.

I am so happy I was able to get that time with him recently.  He was such a great guy, always so sweet and complimenting and he enjoyed life to the fullest.  He was one of those people that you admired in that kind of loving life kind of way.

I didn't go to the wake, but I went to the funeral mass - I sat in the last row, alone.  I needed to say goodbye to this amazing guy.

I will always remember Kevin.

Me & Kevin in Cape Cod at one of his baseball games (1998)

Kevin & Me at the beach in Cape Cod (1998)
The night of my deflowering - September 19, 1999

The last photo of me as a virgin...

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