The last few days have been filled with thoughts of death. I keep thinking, if I have these kinds of feelings from Kevin's passing, how will I handle someone who was more prominent in my life - like SI or Cop#1 or one of my current female friends?
If I hear of SI's death, would I even care? I mean, sure he was a huge part of my life...but what he did to me was unexcusable The SI I loved, is dead - someone else took over his brain and heart and he isn't the person I fell in love with - so when he passes - I might not care, because I already spent 5 years mourning him/it. But, I might care, I probably will; because I am sentimental
Cop#1, yes no doubt I'd shed quite a few tears.
What it comes down to is - would I even know if someone important to me passes? Probably not.
I think what I am going to do, is have an "in case of my death, please notify the following people" note so my family will contact people - whether or not I currently talk to them. Or perhaps I can send a small package to the people with a short note.
What do we really know about death? Do we believe in angels and ghosts? Do we look down from heaven to see who turns up at our services? And if so, would I be surprised who turned up to my services? Have I even made an impact on someone's lives where they would take the time out of their lives to attend my services?
I think I'll not have any kind of service...that will avoid my disappointments.