Wednesday, December 26, 2012

getting fed up

Do I dare to fill you in on my ManFriend issues?  Why not, I have no other thoughts today.

ManFriend started a new job, going on three weeks ago. Unfortunately it is a bit far and he is driving there - until he moves.  He is having a hard time adjusting to working again and is utterly exhausted.  This past weekend he told me he was going to take me out to celebrate  - and hours later I never heard from him.  Even though I asked him to call/text me so I knew for certain - you know value my time.  Well, he didn't.  I never heard from him over the weekend.  Then Christmas Eve we had a lot of leftovers so I told him to stop by and get some...but he gave me an attitude and I lashed out - I mean, who can't commit to something the SAME DAY, just hours later?

He told me I was over reacting.  He was just tired and fell asleep, and woke up at like 9...but still, I didn't get a message at 9 saying, 'sorry I feel asleep', I just got the silent treatment....making me feel guilty for reaching out.

Does this behavior sound familiar?  It should, it has SI's characteristics all over it. I would say it sounds like cheating, but we aren't together, so...

But the nice, sweet, stupid me still made him a plate of food (in fact, I gave him more food than I took home).  So he takes his food and says, stop by later....and you know, he didn't answer when I called at the prearranged time, so I went home.  30 minutes later he messaged me he was running late...I didn't go was too late.

We chatted a while back about new years - if we didn't have other plans we'd hang out...but what I am going to do, wait until 9pm for an invite that night?  I know I never go out, I hate that night - possibly because I spent most of it alone or crying when I was IN a not being in one doesn't sound much better.  Anyway, while I won't have any other plans, I feel like I can't concede again.

What is it about me that men love to want to play with, but don't want to keep?  I mean, I am a better girlfriend than friend.  I bake, cook, do laundry, am familiar with several crafts, a bit handy around the house, nurturing, etc....isn't that what makes a good girlfriend/wife?  And why months/years later do the guys appreciate it THEN, not at the time?

If I am destined to be single - then I really need to stop having casual sex.  Just give it up entirely.

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