Sunday, May 12, 2013

not ready to move yet

I remember this day soon after ManFriend and I were newly involved.  We were laying down on the couch in his living room kissing and he tells me he doesn't want me to move away.  He knew that the reason I was renting the apartment was because I wanted a new job - and I didn't want to stay in the NY Metro area anymore...but relocating isn't as easy as it seems.  I remember I thought that was so sweet, things were new and he liked me enough to want to keep kissing me and he would have been sad if I found a job elsewhere and moved away.  My job ended up being in NYC again...keeping me here for a while and still kissing him.

Today, ManFriend visited for a little while, and after we jumped each other, we were talking about his job/commuting/living situation and I was like, I have no idea where I am headed.  I need the apartment to sell first of course.  He suggested I live in Manhattan, and while I've thought about that a little, I more want to live in the suburbs in a nice community.  I want to feel like an adult. I want a decent, roomy place to live.  But why do I need that NOW?  Maybe if I make the life I want, the husband will come?  doubtful.

So ManFriend tells me he really thinks I should move...far away.  He named a whole bunch of cities I should try to find jobs and move to.

And I looked at him and thought - wow, so much changed in the last 18 months.  At one point he didn't want me to move, but now that he has - he is OK with me relocating.  I get it, I mean, I know this isn't going to last...but I was surprised.

I suggested, now that he has SO MUCH free time, he should look for jobs for me (I know he won't, but I send him jobs all the time).  He told me that hopefully in a year or so, I'll have a much better grasp on my living situation and my career - and I can only go up.  He has complete faith in me that I will succeed and be really happy.

Ideally, yes, sure, I'd love to move away...and it would be a great know 'recovery'.  But I really like my job, and I am not ready to move away...and I have a test I need to take in December, so I really don't want to study for that AND search for a job at the same time, oh, and raises go into effect in October, and since I haven't had a raise in years...I'd like to see if it is a 'normal' raise, or a bump up.   So, I am not thinking about it just yet, but if an opportunity comes up, I am not going to quickly dismiss it, but seriously consider it and maybe take the chance - why not right?

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