Thursday, May 16, 2013

a move to escape

What is it with us that when love fizzles away or something bad happens, we want to escape.  Perhaps moving far far away to start over and not be near things that either remind us of someone or to find a place that is new to distract us and keep us busy so we don't think of our troubles.

For a while I wondered if I was the only person who had these thoughts.  After SI and I broke up, I was visiting my sister in North Carolina, and I came really close to buying a huge townhouse.  I wanted to just start over.  I didn't though, because I thought, maybe if I stayed where I was we'd reconcile.  So stupid.  Anyway, SI and I didn't live in the same area, so I wasn't concerned about bumping into him at the supermarket or the library or deli, but still distance seemed like a good idea.

While the ManFriend thing didn't fizzle, and I probably won't get the urge to move away from him - if we broke up while he still lived local, I would have run into him at the library (we bumped into each other here more than anywhere else), walking home from the train, at restaurants, etc.

This week on How I Met Your Mother, they reminded us that Robin decided to move to Japan when Ted & Victoria were going to get married, and we learned that (spoiler alert if you didn't watch this week) Ted was escaping to Chicago because Barney & Robin were getting married and he couldn't be around them.  While I understand these are fictional characters, the feelings they are portraying are real - the need to escape when we are heartbroken.  The desire to get away and start over where constant reminders are not going to haunt us.

This doesn't just apply to heartache, I think other major life changes - death of family members, laying off/firing of job, problems with friends/ many reasons to want to get away for a while.  I have been thinking about moving and starting over for years, well I guess since the SI breakup.  I haven't yet...but I will.  Not to escape from him, please, its not even an issue anymore...but more because I want a life that I can't have here.  I want to be happier.

Have you moved away to escape from something?  Did it work out for you, or did you realize it was a mistake and moved back?

1 comment:

  1. I read your blog all the time so I feel like I know you now! But yes I did. I moved countries with my then boyfriend in 2008... a few years after the move we broke up. I stayed in the country because I thought we may get back together and after two years of being 'hooked' along it never happened so I moved BACK to our home country. 6 months in and no regrets! So much easier to move on with life and the only way to be open to what the Universe may have in store! Do it!!!