Tuesday, January 1, 2013

New Years Nightmare

There is a reason I like to stay in on New Years and it mostly involves being happier.  I don't have to worry about people. I can drink as much or as little as I want. I can go to bed anytime I want.

This year, I thought I was going to have a stay-in at ManFriends.  I had the whole thing planned. I already bought a bunch of wine, I picked out 5 sushi rolls, and I had on a tight dress since he likes that.

But much to my dismay, at 4pm he texts me he wants to go out instead.  The wonderful person I am, who has a need to please other people tells him we can do whatever he wants, I only want to make him happy.  He selects a somewhat close by place and wants to leave at 9:30.

Sure, I am 9 years younger than ManFriend, but I hate going out that late...or I should say, start going out that late.  From 4-9 I had no idea what to do with my free time.  I couldn't drink since I still had to make my way over there and I already relaxed and did all my errands during the day.  I was getting tired and a little cranky.

I get there at 9, so I can have a drink before we head out.  He barely acknowledged my presence.  He suggests we take a cab.  I thought it was funny, we live in the suburbs...not the city, we don't have taxis randomly driving down the road.  So I suggested hopping on the train for the few stops.  But he is busy playing convert a celebrity to a porn star name with his friend via text.  We miss two trains, don't leave until 10:40.  ManFriend didn't want to get a ticket since he figured it was only two stops, but I bought them because, you never know.  And we did have to give them to the conductor so ha. it pays to be law abiding 

We get to the bar, they have some live music and an old crowd. It was like being at a wedding, but a lot more crowded - like a sardine. I hate feeling like a sardine.  However, I had a few hours to practice my resolution - enjoy the moment even if I don't want to be there.  So, I tried to make the most of it.  I had 3/4 of a bottle of wine before we left and 3 beers at the bar.  Midnight came and ManFriend gave me a small peck on the lips.  A super lame New Years kiss.

By this point I am so disappointed.  ManFriend is barely showing any interest in me all night, well, he wasn't talking to other people, we were there with each other...but he wasn't be cute and flirty like he did on Friday, and all I got was a tiny peck a brother could have given me.  We start heading out at 1.

ManFriend is convinced he can hail a cab.  He does, surprisingly  but the cabbie didn't want to take us where we wanted to go, so we got out 300 feet from the bar.  As ManFriend is having a temper tantrum outside, I have to take it upon myself to take control.  I go inside and talk to the bartender about getting a cab.  He called three places, none of them answered.

The only other suggestion was to walk to the train.  ManFriend and I started to fight like you wouldn't believe.  I started crying.  A drunk crying woman is the last thing a man wants so it was like his annoyance and temper escalated 500%.

I was annoyed. I mean, I wanted to stay in.  He wanted to go out.  He didn't plan anything.  He didn't know how to solve any problems we encountered.  How can he scream at me because we were stuck in a neighboring town?  I am sorry but I wasn't about to sleep on a park bench, so I messaged a few people, I talked to the bartender, and then I started walking to the train.  I had heels, I didn't care. ManFriend whined the whole time.  The girls in front of us walking asked if I was ok or if it was a typical lovers quarrel.  That was nice of them. By the time we got to the train station, we weren't speaking and weren't even staying near each other.

We had 2 minutes before the train, and ManFriend asks a cab at the train station to drive us home.  On the ride, we pull up home at the same time the train did, it only cost me an additional $20 and 2 wasted train tickets in my pocket.  I wished the cabbie a happier new years than me, which wouldn't have been very hard.

I was in no condition to drive so I go into ManFriends place. He was furious he told me he loved me and I wasn't gutsy enough to say it back and that made him feel like shit.  He questioned the longevity of a relationship with me.  We fight, we have sex, he tells me he doesn't want to speak or see me for a long long time.  All I can think is that this was the shorted 'relationship' I ever had - 4 days (technically).  Even the juvenile boys from high school typically lasted 3 weeks.  Who would have thought they would have beat a man 20 years later?

I sleep on the couch.

In the morning he comes and gets me and brings me back to his room and apologies many times for the disaster of the night.  We don't kiss, we don't have sex.  But I think we made up.  I was hungry and asked him to fetch me food from around the corner, he didn't so I left.

If the first 9 hours of 2013 is any indication of the next 364 days...I am screwed.  I deserve a GOOD year.  Everyone else gets them, damn it, I want one.

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