Do you read Chick-Lit books? I started to after my breakup. Reading about others misfortunes, bad relationships, romance and the happy ending were reassuring. Even though the books were fictional, most could be based on real life events. I would get so wrapped up and read and read and read to escape my sad reality and hope that one day my own story would have a happy ending.
What these books all had in common was the ending theme. Where the girl who was hurt in love struggles to get her shit together and then starts seeing someone new who is amazing. But she doesn't realize he is amazing yet...first she is still deeply upset about her ex and yearns to get him back. Since that isn't a possibility, she dates this other fella. Some time goes by and her memories of the ex fade. She is content. Then out of the blue, the ex reappears back in her life. He wants her back; he realized he made a mistake. Usually the girl is ecstatic and goes out with the ex only to discover she is miserable in his presence or misses her current beau, but sometimes she gets her satisfaction right then and there - and laughs in his face and says NO WAY you had your chance now it is too late, I am happy.
I'll be honest, I haven't read a chick-lit book in a few years. I found other books that I liked better...and I was getting annoyed that the characters were able to fix themselves and find someone new way faster than I was able to. It was starting to depress me.
But the theme is something to really think about. What would I do if an Ex wanted me back?
With Cop#1 it was all a physical relationship. Nothing worthwhile would come of it. And honestly...when he did reappear in my life, I went with it and enjoyed every second of it. But at no point did I ever consider it would lead anywhere nor did I think about what our future would have been like, because I knew one wouldn't have existed.
With SI he was my first real first and only love. I should hate the guy, but I don't. I think about it all the time, what my life would be like if we were together and if we would have lasted. For the last 4 years I wanted nothing more than for him to come back to me (solo of course) and start our relationship anew. I would love to tell you that if he came to me today and told me he was sorry and he wanted to marry me - that I would say no way...but the truth is, I still haven't met anyone else, and I know I was so happy with him in the beginning that I would be tempted. I guess it is all just a matter of timing. If I was in a relationship when he made his appearance my response would probably be "no way asshole, you know what you did to me? I am not that crazy to endure a life with you under those circumstances again".
I guess it is pointless to think about it. The likelihood of that ever happening is slim - but if it does, I can only hope that when he reaches out I am happy and secure with my life. That my future man is amazing and I'll be like SI who? But of course, I'll send him a thank you note because if he didn't break my heart into a million little pieces I never would have met my future husband and be so unbelievably happy and lucky. All I want, in the long run, is to be happier than he will be. I know, that is wrong, but it is true. It just sucks that I have to wait to long for the future to align for me.
What would you do if an Ex wanted you back?
No comments:
Post a Comment