Saturday, March 2, 2013

flattery makes me confused

I've always had a hard time accepting compliments, and I think it is because I don't think I do anything 'special', I feel like everyone should act similar to me, so what I do/say isn't amazing, it should be normal.

When I receive a compliment I usually give a small smile, blush, look away, get a little defensive, say something to them to get the spotlight off of me.

But I've also been trying to trust and open up and maybe love.  So I try to handle these words better...but honestly I am just not convinced.

ManFriend - I wish I was kissing you right now
Me - So, why aren't you
ManFriend - Because you are there and I am here
Me - It isn't too hard to be in the same spot at the same time
ManFriend - Good point.  If I ask you over is that presuming too much?
Me - ? more than usual?
ManFriend - The honor of your presence is requested
Me - I am not going over there tonight...but sometimes a girl like to hear they are desired, and to be asked over anyway.
ManFriend - I can appreciate that. Know I desire you very much
Me - That is a very nice compliment, thank you.
ManFriend -You are a great friend, a great lover, and an even better person.
Me - Are you drunk?
ManFriend - Not at all, just being honest.
Me - Still just a friend though huh?  Flattery still won't get me there tonight, sorry.

Ok, so that was part of our conversation the other night.  It started off fine and sweet...and I wanted to believe him.  But then I felt like he was just caking it on...a little too much.  Is it just me? Am I the only person that would be uncomfortable or think their person is drunk just to say that?  But I also know that as much as he claims to desire me....days will go by without seeing each other. so all that stuff he said, I don't believe because if he meant it...I wouldn't have been alone for the last 3 nights and all weekend.  I have zero doubt that he in fact desires me - but it isn't enough.

Men - STOP saying crap to women you don't mean.  Don't make us confused. Don't make us defensive.  Don't make us doubt and question everything.  Just shut up.  Don't say anything.

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