Wednesday, March 13, 2013

crazy about you

After our 'date' on Sunday, ManFriend and I go back to his place.  He start kissing.  We keep kissing.  I can't tell you how amazing all this kissing is.  I get hot.  I lose focus.  I am utterly blissful.   I am so in the moment that part of me is worried something is going to slip out of my mouth, that I refuse to say, but that I feel.

As we get up to move our kissing into the bedroom, I stand up and he tells me how beautiful I am.  I am super happy hearing that.  We kiss again - and he tells he is crazy about me.  And I blurt out that I am crazy about him too, but it is really starting to scare me.

Are you wondering why I am scared about this revelation?  It is because I am infuriated about so many things about him & us.  How can I be crazy about a man when I hate our relationship?

It's the damn kissing.  I am telling you it is amazing.  But I can't let love kissing someone be what keeps me involved with him.  I know nothing is going to change significantly enough for me to know this is all worth it.


1 comment:

  1. I've soooooooo been here before.

    Kissing to women is like sex for men.

    Kind of like how you can ask a man anything DURING sex and he'll of course say yes. Same for women during kissing. Your head just gets all foggy and common sense is out the window!! :)

    And P.S. - I nominated you for an awardy-award on my bloggy-blog :)