Monday, March 11, 2013

still, just dating

I am 99.9% certain ManFriend has no idea about this blog...but yet his timing is always impeccable   Once I write about him...poof....I hear from him.  Strange.

He messaged me Sunday morning that last Sunday was better when he woke up next to me.  And essentially he asks if we can start having midweek stay overs.  I am not opposed to this in general, and want to see me in a situation where that is a normal occurrence   But, I am not sure if doing it with him is right.  So, he'll have me over a random Tuesday and then won't see me at all over the weekend...still filling his quota?

I write him back asking him what his intentions with me are.  Is this still causal sex? Is it a relationship? Is it something in between?  His answer might help me decide if I want to continue this or not.

He replied 'ah, the age old question women must have an answer to'

That annoyed me. It isn't like I asked it a month into our relationship.  We've been dating/sleeping together for 13-14 months.  My cousin was engaged after dating someone 8 months, my friend got engaged in her 12 month of dating, etc.  I don't think asking that AGAIN is wrong.  Sure it started off casual  but I'd have hoped by now he might know if he liked me/wanted to officially date me or not.  And I do think I am entitled to know what his thoughts are.  Remember when he got pissed off I told him I was going on a date back in January?  But yet, he thinks it is OK to be exclusive with someone when I see them once a week?   Granted we never even had that exclusive chat either.  I volunteered the information I wasn't sleeping with other people, but that was not because I want more sex, I do, it was more because who else would I sleep with?  On top of all that unusual stuff, he hasn't even met my family, well one brother-in-law and a niece and nephew.  I mean, I understand he thinks he is a bachelor...and doesn't want that stuff or complications in his life...but you can't be in an almost relationship and still think you can live in that old lifestyle.  It doesn't blend.  Either learn how to properly date or stay a bachelor and don't stay involved with one person this long.

So I ask him if he even likes me or just likes that I have sex with him.  Because I do a lot of really nice things for him.  I make him food, I cleaned his place, I go over almost anytime he asked, I take him out for food/drinks.  He tells me to jump and I ask how high. I felt like I was at his beck & call.  Like I said yesterday, I am tired of it.  I want those things reciprocated.  I want someone to cherish me just a little bit, or to realize how awesome I am and don't want other men to steal me away.  Why can't he do little stuff for me...ever?

I informed him that whatever this is, isn't enough for me.  He actually kind of agreed, but insisted we talk not text about it.  So we scheduled a time for a call.

When he called me at first it was all just fluff small talk.  Then I asked what we were doing.  He said he'd consider us dating, definitely not just sex or just a friend   And over the last week or two he will find my hair  at this place and think of me and realize he misses me, or if we went a day or two without talking he finds himself wondering what I am doing.  All really nice...things I want to hear.  So I ask him, what do YOU do when you are dating someone?  How often do YOU want to see someone you are dating?  And of course he gave me all the 'correct' answers.  He wants to see the person more often than not, he wants to spend a weekend running errands or doing 'normal' things together.  All things I have wanted.  Perfect answers.  So then I why then do you never want to see me when I ask?  All he had to say was he understands.  I tell him I feel very unfulfilled, and I am starting to question all of this.

So he invited me out on a date. Dinner.

My feelings are out there, again.  He can't come back and say he doesn't know or is shocked on the upcoming day I tell him I can't do it anymore.

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