Monday, March 4, 2013

finally, morning nookie

Saturday afternoon I saw ManFriend when he dropped something off. I was guarded, I hate that we see each other it is on his terms all the time..but he kept telling me how much he desires me and how much I turn him on (and I wasn't wearing anything nice and had little makeup on).  We start kissing.  It got heated.  He invited me over to his place a few hours away...I wanted to go, but I didn't want to say yes right then.  And off he went to dinner with his family.

When he called to invite me over at the specified time he informed me to bring a bag because I would be spending the night.  I smiled.  I brought just a shirt, glasses, contact stuff and toothbrush. I knew I wouldn't need more because I knew I wouldn't stay late.

So, I go over there and we crack open a beer and rent a movie.  But 30 seconds into the movie we start kissing....10 minutes later we pause the movie to move into the other room.  I could tell he wanted me to tell him I loved him...but nope, I can't say that.

We restart the movie and an hour later he falls asleep so I convince him it was bedtime.  It took a while, but when I finally fell asleep, I slept so much better this time around.  At 7 am when we woke up we chatted a little bit and then he gets up to pee and then I do...and when I come back, he was dressed and in the kitchen.  I was disappointed; I blogged months ago about my need for nookie in the morning.  As I realize nothing was going to happen, not even a good morning kiss, I go into the bedroom to change so I can head out.  ManFriend walks in on me, and then in a turn of events...we ended up back in bed.  He had some difficulties, but finally managed.

I am a little concerned, sometimes it looks like he is in so much pain.  Maybe that explains why he doesn't have sex with me as much as I want him to.  But can I ask about that?  Sure, we've been 'together' long enough but I barely consider this a relationship.

Anyway, I left there happy.  No breakfast...but hey, things improved a tiny bit.   It started my Sunday off well, I was happy and thought about him most of the day.  When I cooked for the week, I made lots of extras for him (I've done this more times than I care to admit) to pick up later that night, and when he picked it up I didn't get a hug or kiss or anything...just a thanks.   it seemed more friend-like than couple like.

I just want to know, are we a couple? Are we not?

But does it even matter? This isn't what I want and I think that he has been a bachelor too long to do anything more and realize there is a problem.  

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