Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Day 27 - What’s the best thing going for you right now?

The best thing going for me right now is that I am starting to feel great.  I am spending money on me - Keratin hair treatments, electrolysis, laser hair removal (underarm & Brazilian bikini), new makeup, hair straightener and new clothes.  I was told once by a guy that I didn't put enough effort into my looks...and I thought, why should I? I wasn't a slob but even though I originally attracted him, it wore off and I've worried since then about not only meeting a guy but keeping one.  During my depression it was hard to want to look good or feel good and I didn't meet anyone.  Now, I am putting that effort in that I've been missing.  It hasn't been easy.  I buy shoes that I don't wear, I have bags that I don't use, I buy clothes that I either don't wear or don't know what to wear it with, I have more eye shadow than I need, and I don't know how to change up my outfits to look cute.  I still have more work to do, but what I've done I am really happy with and people notice it.  My gynecologist and my regular physician both told me that I looked great, someone else comments that I just seem happy.  Two people I hooked up with told me they liked my body - which helps my self esteem because I am insecure about my tremendous breasts and wider frame.  I smile and laugh more.  I am confident in my work, becoming a little more social, and know I deserve to be happier.  There are times that I have a bad day or look like crap but overall I am really good. I haven't felt this way since I was 16 and 19. 

I hope that by feeling great my universe will start to align and good things will start happening to me.  (job, fh, more money). 

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