Do you wish bad thoughts on people? I am ashamed to admit that I have. Usually I do it after someone hurts me, and I started to believe in karma - what goes around comes around. So, sometimes I wish the bad thoughts and other times I just envision the bad future scenarios of what would make me happy and them miserable. I don't wish death because that is a way out, instead I'd prefer misery. What can happen to someone to make them miserable and maybe regret their past choices? Can they be on top of the world one moment and then BAM it all falls apart. Perhaps their significant other passes away, perhaps they are diagnosed with something, maybe they end up broke or in jail...either way, I would get some sort of satisfaction from that. I don't always envision the worst possible things - not all actions justify that, instead I just want something equally comparable to how I was hurt.
I've mentioned before that I over think - and I definitely think about these things too much. For instance, I constantly waste my time (YES, I know it is wasted time...and many times I don't want to think about it at all...but it is just there, it never really goes away) thinking about SI and his ex-mistress and what kind of karma they will endure.
I may come across as a mean, cold person that is full of anger and bitterness...but at least I can admit it. I've lead a very truthful and honest life, I try not to break laws, I try to go out of my way to help when I can. I think I am a really good person. I am also full of love when it is deserved and that part of me generally overrides the other part twofold. Sometimes I wonder that with the obstacles I've had - if that was my karma. Have I gotten it out of the way so the second part of my life will be better? Was I am horrible person in a past life? Either way, I know my internal thoughts are of no real bearing to others. I may think bad things at times, but I know I would not be responsible if something actually happened.
No comments:
Post a Comment