Thursday, January 8, 2015

Date #2, the Q and A

Ten days after date #1, I went on a second date at a restaurant.  This time we ordered hamburgers and chatted about the holiday, jobs and that was about it.  The check came and I paid this time; I don't want any man to assume that just because he bought me dinner I'd kiss or have sex with him right away.  And it's only fair.  Why should the guy always pay?

But, we made it through the meal and I didn't learn one new thing about him except how he likes his burger.  We couldn't leave, this wasn't just dinner. A second date is when you need to learn more about each other - weeding in or weeding out.

We are older.  I feel like, you don't need to drag out the do I like this person enough to want to spend time with? do I want to only see this person or see other people?   So, I told him we were going to play a Q&A, taking turns to ask questions.  The questions could be anything.  We asked some silly questions but also serious ones about the future and the past.

I also started to look at him closer.  Is that a face I could continue to want to look at?  Is it a face I could be attracted to?  I know looks aren't everything....but there needs to be some sort of attraction. I want to find my partner, future husband or boyfriend desirable and I want to have a good, healthy intimate relationship as well, so yeah, there is some sort of baseline attraction.  Did this guy have it? I also started to think more about his age, he is 10 years older...yes, I was involved with ManFriend who was eight years older and that was hard at ten years going to be harder? easier?  normal?

After an hour or ninety minutes, we were tired of the game and called it quits.  Sure, I learned more about him.  Some stuff made me think a little bit...but nothing was so horrible that he needed to be ruled out yet.  Perhaps over the next encounter(s) I will discover the level of what he said, and that may be a make or break...but for now, it will continue.

We hug goodbye and make plans for three days away.

On the way home I decided I should probably get back on the dating site and start responding to other people.  Yes, he is nice...but he is the first person I've had a real date with in might not be a bad thing to meet a handful of other guys and start weighing them.  Options might be good.  If I don't go that route, would I be settling and learning how to like someone?  We'll see how date #3 goes.

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