the meltdown

I was not prepared for the traffic in Denver.  Sure Colorado is booming, more people are looking to appreciate the mountains, the lifestyle, and the marijuana.  Apartments and houses are going up all over the place, yet to find a vacancy is quite difficult, especially when you are looking for something ASAP and don't want a full year lease - that is another post.

So with all the building, and more people living here...the roads are congested, even if they are 4 or 5 lanes at times.  It took me 40 - 50 minutes to get from downtown Denver to Englewood, a 6.6 mile ride.  I was so frustrated by the time I got to the area, I didn't even want to look at the places...so I turned around and sat in traffic for over an hour to get back north of Denver.  I burst out in sobs, I left New York to get away from traffic...I don't want a long commute, I don't want traffic, I want a happy life near the mountains.  I wanted affordable housing...but with the housing boom...things are not so affordable.  I started to doubt that I made the right decision.  Was I crazy to be doing this?  But I thought, once I find a job then I will intentionally pick a place to live where I don't have to worry about this horrible traffic on an everyday basis.  

When my car beeped at the 2 hour mark - I was shocked that I spent over two hours in the car to go nowhere.  I was so frustrated.  I stupidly answered my phone when my parents called, and sobbed to them about how frustrated I was with the traffic, and the horrible extended stay hotels.  They assured me after such a stressful period in my life, it is completely normal to have this breakdown, now that I am here...the reality is setting in and it is flooding my emotions.  Did I want to go back home they asked?  After 2 days here, no way!  I need to give it at least 6 months.  So, I need to be prepared for a very difficult time for the next few weeks/months until I get adjusted.  I really didn't think this far through back home, as a planner it is so hard to not know what is coming, where I'll be staying, where the job will be; with so many unknowns I think it is normal for a meltdown.