Sunday, September 28, 2014

pleading flashback

I was in a booth alone having dinner.  The couple at the table behind me was talking quietly but not enough that I couldn't hear everything.  I kept trying to read my book, one I have been enjoying, but I kept reading the same paragraph over and over again.  Finally I gave up and just ate my dinner and if I heard them, so be it.  They broke up.  He is dating someone else, flaunting this new girl around.  She is in love with the guy still.  She cried most of the dinner.

It brought back memories I could have done without.  My heart went out to the gal pleading and begging the guy to love her back.  He told her she'd get over it and she said she would't.  He sounded like an ass with his responses, but he was done with her.  Aside from being heartbroken, she didn't sound too smart...so I struggled with feeling bad for her when she kept saying nonsense.

I wanted to go over there and tell her to stop - if he wants you, he'd let you know. stop making a fool out of yourself.  I hoped he was going to get up and leave her there alone - and then I could have went over, but they ended up walking out together.

And you wonder, who am I to judge and tell her to stop? What do I know?  Because that was me 8 years ago.  And she is right, I didn't get over it...and she might not either depending on the circumstances of their breakup.  Years went by that I waited and he got on with his life.  I went into another relationship expecting a heartache and that no one would love me.  My communication skills failed. I pulled away, I was emotionally stubborn.  The lasting effects of that breakup can still be seen, but thankfully, not initially anymore.

Breakups are usually not easy, most of the time it is not mutual; the person who gets their way is the one that probably won't be depressed or sad for too long.

But please, don't plead.

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