Tuesday, July 16, 2013

uncontaminated for future husband

How often do you get STD tested? I started getting it done after I found out about SI's mistress.  I was still occasionally sleeping with SI, and I eventually started to sleep with other people...and who knows where they have been, so I started getting tested once a year, until about 2 years ago.  All results have always been negative.  While my sexual partner number is low, I am not a very good safe sex person...the only person I sort of use condoms with is Cop#1, and that is more to prevent pregnancy because he only puts it on at the end.  When ManFriend told me he gave my earrings to another woman...I got nervous.  A year and a half ago he told me the number of sexual partners he had in his 42 1/2 years was as high as 150+...(at first a shocking number for me, but since he has about 3-8 minutes of sex...I can see why women didn't last long).  Anyway, I had no idea if he was sleeping with other people or not during our year and a half 'relationship'...and clearly, once he moved, he wasted no time finding other women to have sex with him.  What did this mean for me?  I convinced myself I contracted something.  Because what kind of woman takes other's earrings...probably one that is skanky or dirty.  I thought I felt funny down there.  I had to have blood tests for my doctor, so I asked if she could tack on STD tests.

After my blood tests, I was eagerly awaiting my results.  I kept having thoughts, what if one/some of the STD results came back positive?  Would I text/call ManFriend to tell him he infected me?  Would it be curable?  I was really stressing myself out.

I log into my healthcare group and look for my lab results.  The results are listed.  I open the first one.  HIV, negative.  Phew.  Although honestly, I wasn't as worried about this one, although I probably should have been.  Next I found the results for syphilis, even though it is curable in the early stages, this one still worried me.  But, the results were negative. Phew.  Last was herpes.  I was the most worried about this because it is so common, most people don't even realize they have it and worse, there is no cure...if I had this, I'd have it forever...one thing I was so worried about and told ManFriend I didn't want him to blemish my sexual  health - and I had this conversation with him a few times early in our relationship, but yet, we didn't have protected sex at all.  Herpes 1 - positive.  Herpes 2 - negative.  I think I forgot to breathe, I was stunned.  Did I have herpes?  I was at work when I looked at my results and I didn't want to google search which 1 or 2 was.  But I couldn't wait until I got home, I ended up searching for it.  Herpes 2 was genital herpes, the worse one...thank god that was negative!  Herpes 1 is the one associated with cold sores and whatnot.  I still wasn't thrilled about this, especially because I didn't realize I had anything going on.  My doctor was on vacation so I had to keep waiting for her to call to review this. I had questions!  Finally she called.  She said that the positive herpes 1 test just meant that at some point in my life I was in contact with this virus or had a cold sore (which I did back in high school), but at this particular moment in time, there was no evidence of the virus.  unfortunately, this result will always be positive, but at least I know not to freak out again in the future.

I have a high deductive insurance plan, meaning I have to pay out of pocket all medical bills until I meet my deductible of $1,500 in network...and while these tests costs a bit of money...at least now I can sleep at night knowing that I have zero need to talk to ManFriend, but more importantly, I am healthy and uncontaminated for my future husband.  

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