Sunday, July 7, 2013
like I never left
Being back here is a little weird, but it is like I never left. I am very comfortable in the apartment but at the same time it brings back memories of the heartache I had from SI and then the awful relationship with ManFriend. I am sitting on my couch and all I think about is kissing ManFriend because that is where we did the most kissing. And I smile because the kissing was amazing but I got teary eyes because I remember I am alone again. This apartment is becoming a recovery zone.
I am looking forward to living alone again. I do worry about being a little lonely, but that will pass. But more on my mind is that this is supposed to be temporary, the apartment is still on the market. I could get an offer at any time. Am I going to fall in love with the apartment again and not want to leave? Am I crazy for wanting to move (I am sure renting a place I like will be more expensive)? I hate all the uncertainty; I want to be established and I want stability.