Thursday, July 11, 2013

ABCs of Dating

Adventure.  Not only is dating an adventure, but you should be a bit adventurous.  Try something new.  Get out of your comfort zone.  Experience new things together.  Make memories.

Breakup when the time is right.  Don't drag it out and don't mislead the other person.  Don't be childish and don't pick a fight just have the other person end it because it is easier that way. Act like an adult...more than likely the other person won't be completely surprised.

Conversations.  It is imperative that you talk easily with the other person...and more importantly that there is a little substance in the conversation. Talking about nothing all the time gets boring and losing interest is a possibility.

Dates.  Don't stick with just dinner, vary it up!  There are some fantastic free things to do together and there are many over the top date ideas.  Select dates that fall in the range.  It gets boring to do the same thing all the time.

Effort.  Put a little effort into how you look.  Not only will you feel better about yourself and gain confidence that you look good, but the other person will notice and appreciate it.  I know after dating for a while, you loose the desire to do this, but do it at least every once in a while.

Flowers and/or cards go a long way to show someone you care about them.

Genuine.  Be yourself.  If you are pretending, it will eventually come out and you can't pretend forever.  When you are genuine you tend to be more fun and relaxed because you aren't trying to impress anyone so you aren't constantly 'on', trying to remember how to win someone over, or keeping up with lies is a lot of work.

Honest.  There is no reason to lie, be truthful and honest.  Build a relationship on honesty.  And don't cheat and lie, just be honest and break up - save the person the unnecessary heartache.

Intimate.  A relationship needs intimacy.  Kiss.  Cuddle.  Sex.  Sit knee to knee.  Eye contact.  Caress.

Judge...don't judge the other person based on first impressions.  She might seem standoffish, but in reality she might just have a lot on her mind and is looking for you.  He might look like a meat-head, but he might be really smart and have substance.  Give it a try, at least once.  What do you have to loose?  A few hours?  Better than sitting home alone.

Kissing is so intimate and necessary in a relationship.

Love. Only say 'I love you' when you mean it - and not too soon where it will freak the other person out.  Don't hold it against the other person if they don't say it right after you.  You'll know they love you too, but saying it for the first time could be a little hard.

Messages.  Everyone loves to feel desired and thought about.  Sending a message, whether a text, email or phone saying you are thinking about them or are really looking forward to your date later that evening or that you had a nice time out or that you can't wait to get naked again - it will make the other person smile.

Night away.  The first night away means a lot.  It means you are ready to see if there is even more potential there.  Can you travel well together? Will the quiet lulls in conversation be normal or intimidating?  Will the person's personality change in different locations?

Outings.  It is important to get out of the house! Go do things together.

Pay the bill.  As old fashioned as I am, I don't think the man should always pay the bill - but he should on the first date.  Other dates, I think, should take turns - maybe not one-to-one, but offer and be willing to go through with it.  You might be spending many years with that person....they aren't going to pay for everything, so get used to it now.  Take some responsibility! Especially if it is a date you arrange.

Questions...ask them!  Everyone loves to talk about themselves, but especially in a new relationship it is important to ask questions, and hopefully a little specific questions.  I hate those broad "tell me about yourself" questions...where do I start? I can't think that fast.  I might be different, but I to be asked more direct and specific questions.

Romance.  People say they don't need romance, but everyone likes a little bit of romance. It makes you feel special and loved.  It makes you smile.

Surprise the other person.  It doesn't need to get expensive or be elaborate.  It can be doing something or making something you remember the other person said they liked.  It could be ordering them soup when they are sick or a surprise date.

Trim your body hair.  No one likes an ape or a wild jungle.

Undress each other.  Constantly taking off your own clothes and hopping into bed looses that rush and excitement; it is more routine.  Undress your partner, fast because of the urgency to be intimate or slowly and savor what is before you.

Voice your opinion - even if it is different.  We like to know that you are your own person and won't always agree with us.  It shows you know what you value, what you like, and even that you might be passionate about something.

Wait more than 4 dates to have sex with someone you see a potential relationship with.  This time will let you know if you are attracted to them, have something in common and most importantly, it will allow your body to start to crave that other person.

X aka ex, as in what the person might become if the relationship doesn't last.

Yell. You don't always need to be quiet in bed.  When the moment is right, make some noise.

Zealous.  A feeling you should have in a relationship, one of enthusiasm, intensity and passion.

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