Monday, November 29, 2010

Signs he is cheating

Think he is cheating or having an affair?  Here are some signs to look for.  Of course just one of these doesn't mean anything...but the red light should go off if three or more are seen at the same time & over a certain period of time.
  • Finding a strand of hair that is not your color in the passenger side head rest of the car
  • If you constantly have to change the passenger seat of the car to fit your length.  If you are the only one regularly in the car, you shouldn't have to
  • Not answering the phone or answering texts for several hours
  • Have plans with you and be MIA for hours.
  • Suddenly leave in the morning to hang with friends/family and you had no clue (esp true if you live together)
  • Call you by a pet name all the time. (When cheating, he doesn't have to worry about calling out the wrong name daily or in bed if his pet names are the same for multiple ladies)
  • Starts picking up new habits (like fake tanning - which you are so against)
  • Starts smoking and/or drinking coffee out out no where
  • All of a sudden you see an increase in his wardrobe.  You see a lot of new clothes when doing the wash, but never on him when you go out together
  • Pet hair on clothes when you or he doesn't have a pet
  • Gets a little nervous when you tell him the dry cleaner found something in his pocket
  • Starts wearing (new) cologne
  • Text messages all the time.  At dinner, on the couch, in bed over your head, in the car.  You constantly asking him to put his phone away and pay attention to you...but he doesn't.
  • Starts complaining about high credit card bills (when you are trying to cut down on spending, maybe even start a budget...and you can't imagine why his credit card bills are high)
  • Go from doing bills together to never being able to see them
  • Keeping personal files and bills at work not at home where you can see them
  • Gains extra weight
  • Nit-picking everything to start a fight with you
  • Starts doing small cute things to make you happy - flowers, nice restaurants, little gifts, etc to lessen your assumption he isn't being faithful
  • Starts changing your plans for the future - making extreme new decisions (you agreed to 3 kids, now he wants none.  Finding things he knows you want more than anything and trying to crush it because he won't leave you so he wants you to get so mad at him and leave him)
  • You get that feeling.  You want to maybe follow him one day, but you are scared to know the truth
  • He locks his phone and computer with passwords
  • He tells you he suspects YOU are cheating
  • He refuses to give his parents your home telephone number (esp. if you live together) so they don't call when he isn't home and call him out on his lies (because of course he is always 'visiting' his sick parents)
  • He has new moves in bed
  • He is moodier
  • When he gets home from work he sits in his car to finish a conversation before going inside the house (and does this on a regular basis)
  • He criticises your clothes and/or body
  • He might slip and mention something you didn't do together
  • In his cell phone a friend is listed by initial. last name and then again number full  name (example J. Doe and then John Doe).  These are both different people.  The real one is probably the one that is still in line with all the others and the odd one is the one that is different.  And be even extra careful, my cell phone as a 'secret' listing...which is nothing but trouble if you ask me
  • You notice he gets really good at lying to other people (but don't realize he is lying to you of course!)
  • He goes from wanting to talk about feelings/future/little things to being more private and secretive
  • When you do finally get around to "snooping" (which it isn't if you live together) you notice many credit card transaction for flowers, jewelery, restaurants that you didn't go to.  Also, he listed her as an authorized card holder so she has a credit card that he pays for. Perhaps a copy of her passport and license are in the file too.
*note, these could be signs SHE is cheating too...but since in my experience, it was my guy cheating, it was just easier to write HE all the time...and yes, the HE does refer to actual things someone specific did.
*note 2, there are different levels of cheating.  Listed above are all examples s/he is not just cheating, but in another relationship .

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