Thursday, September 5, 2013

wasted days

Frustrated.  Annoyed at myself.

OK, so the three day weekend was a complete waste. I didn't do anything.  I had good intentions of going for a long hike, but I worried about the isolated thunderstorms...bad excuse.

I also have to get cracking on studying, and I only read for about 4 hours.  Not good.  I know I am going to regret wasting all that precious free time because the next few weeks are going to get busy.

I am not sure why I am so unmotivated to do anything. I was even too lazy to pop in a DVD and instead watched hours of Mythbusters and the Brady Bunch.  And I ate a lot.

I thought a lot about money...and my lack of it.  I thought about looking for jobs in other states.  I chatted with a friend in another state and found out she just got engaged and is pregnant - and she was trying to convince me that I need a mid-western man like her's.  Then I kept thinking that too bad football wasn't on because I want to see my players get me some points! Oh My God, who am I?

I am not sleeping well again, it isn't 'stress' so much as it is about wonder.  I am having so many dreams about men.  Past men and future men.  My life, what it was, what I want it to be, and I think I am depressing myself because I get excited and then let down when I wake up.

OK, so the few first days of September were extremely lazy...but the rest of the month is busy, so maybe I just needed to do nothing to store up that energy for later this month.

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