Monday, May 10, 2010

Back-Up Plan

Yesterday my sisters & I took my mom & grandma to the movies for Mother's Day. We saw the backup plan with Jennifer Lopez. I was a little nervous since my grandmother is super religious/conservative, but she laughed and enjoyed the movie.

I sat there thinking that might be me in a few years. I had 2 back-up husbands, you know the ones "If we are not married by 30, we marry each other". But both found someone and are still married. Sure there is Bank Boy who won't leave me alone, but I refuse to settle too far, a little settling is OK, but there is a line.

Got me thinking, what will my back up plan be? My posts from last week included adoption...but I have also thought about being pregnant. Adoption might be the better of the two.

I have thought about what kind of sperm I wanted. Last year, I asked my super ex boyfriend (cop #1 - and super because it was 2 ex's ago -- not because he was amazing) if he'd let me have his sperm since he was incredibly good looking. He said no. At the time he was married with one kid, and his wife pregnant with the second and he didn't think the world needed another one of his children around. I tried to explain I wouldn't ask anything of him, just that when we had sex, maybe he forgot the condom. I could get pregnant and he wouldn't even know since we wouldn't be talking in 6 months. After all, what would he care: He was married and wouldn't be involved. There went that idea - back to thinking about sperm banks.

Two weeks ago, I asked my sisters if they'd help/be supportive of me if I end up a single mom. Of course they said yes, but I could see one doesn't think I'll end up single...the other one looked like she might believe it be my only option...that is if I want kids at all.

I should start thinking about what age I will stop waiting for the 'what if' and make something happen for myself.


  1. im not one to speak... but wanted to say i would be super supportive of the single mom thing if thats what you wanted. and also very much support adoption. there are lots of kids in the world who need someone like you to raise them. I know its one thing to have biological children.. but i say you never know if you want to adopt its a wonderful way to go if something changes you can always have your own after also..

    glad your 2X ex turned you down though, lol something about the children from a married man who knew he was going to have nothing to do with it just wouldnt settle with that child when he/ she was older... im sure you will have major problems then! its one thing to be a single mom but another to have slept with a married man who wanted nothing to do with the child.. can you imagine explaining that! LOL

    good luck :)

  2. I've said for 5 years now, that if I'm not in a serious relationship by the time I'm 30 I'm going to use a sperm donor and try to get pregnant. If that fails, adoption. My parents, surprisingly (at least my dad is surprising), completely understand.

    Do I want to be a single mom? Not ideally, but I want to be a mom more than anything in the world and want to be young enough to enjoy it!

  3. Pam - Thanks & I didn't want 2Ex to have anything to do with kid...what difference does it make if the sperm donor was someone you know or someone from a book?

    Marianne - I am glad to hear that other single gals feel this way too!! I always wanted to be a 'young' mom - but time is ticking. Thanks for your support!