Yesterday my sisters & I took my mom & grandma to the movies for Mother's Day. We saw the backup plan with Jennifer Lopez. I was a little nervous since my grandmother is super religious/conservative, but she laughed and enjoyed the movie.
I sat there thinking that might be me in a few years. I had 2 back-up husbands, you know the ones "If we are not married by 30, we marry each other". But both found someone and are still married. Sure there is Bank Boy who won't leave me alone, but I refuse to settle too far, a little settling is OK, but there is a line.
Got me thinking, what will my back up plan be? My posts from last week included adoption...but I have also thought about being pregnant. Adoption might be the better of the two.
I have thought about what kind of sperm I wanted. Last year, I asked my super ex boyfriend (cop #1 - and super because it was 2 ex's ago -- not because he was amazing) if he'd let me have his sperm since he was incredibly good looking. He said no. At the time he was married with one kid, and his wife pregnant with the second and he didn't think the world needed another one of his children around. I tried to explain I wouldn't ask anything of him, just that when we had sex, maybe he forgot the condom. I could get pregnant and he wouldn't even know since we wouldn't be talking in 6 months. After all, what would he care: He was married and wouldn't be involved. There went that idea - back to thinking about sperm banks.
Two weeks ago, I asked my sisters if they'd help/be supportive of me if I end up a single mom. Of course they said yes, but I could see one doesn't think I'll end up single...the other one looked like she might believe it be my only option...that is if I want kids at all.
I should start thinking about what age I will stop waiting for the 'what if' and make something happen for myself.