Sunday, October 5, 2014

first dates in Colorado

A few posts ago, I told you that when my sister was in town, I landed a phone number for our bartender.  I knew his family was coming into town so I didn't reach out soon after I got it.  But a month later as I was cleaning and organizing, I came across his phone number. What to do? Do I call, do I not?

But it takes a lot for a man to give his phone number (maybe) so I figured I should at least acknowledge it.  I called and left a message, something like "Hey this is Denise, I met you at your job about a month ago, and well, I just found your number and thought I should at least call since you went out of your way to give it to me.  If you'd like to call me back, my phone number is {provided}and if not, well, no worries."

The next day this guy called me and we talked for 75 minutes.  That is the longest I've been on the phone with anyone since the occasional call with ManFriend.  Conversation flowed surprisingly well and I really enjoyed our conversation.  We made plans to meet up later that week for the Thursday night football game.

I am glad I didn't have to walk into the very crowded restaurant/bar to find him because I really couldn't remember what he looked like.  He found me in the parking lot, we get a table in the bar area and ordered a beer and food.  Honestly, he didn't look like someone I would have approached first in a that would have been awkward if he didn't find me.

Conversation was OK, I am glad I had the game to watch half the time.  We chatted about a lot of things and when the game ended he paid 70% of the bill, but I put money in and made a point to say that I wanted to pay because I didn't want any obligations. He walked me to my car and asked if he could see me over the weekend.

Wow, that is a little fast.  I am not ready to spend so much time with one person.   No, that is not true.  I want to find a great guy and start, what it comes down to is that he is not that person.  I told him I was not yet sure of my plans, but he could reach out as the weekend progressed.   He messaged me when he got home that he had a great time.

My plans for the weekend actually changed and I no longer had plans, but I was looking forward to having the place to myself and kinda doing nothing (crazy because that is how I spent the last few weeks!).  Then Saturday night, he messaged me about spending time together on Sunday.  While an easy hike would have been great, I told him I actually wanted to spend the day watching football (who have I become?) so he agreed and we met for the first early games.  That was the first time I went to a bar/restaurant that had ALL the games on....too much to look at, very overwhelming.  So we chatted a little bit and ate lunch...but really the conversation was slow. I had nothing to talk about and I really didn't want to be there.  But I smiled through it and made the most of the time.  At the end, he walked me to my car again and asked about the following weekend, but I am actually going away.

So, OK, I know I am not interested in him, but I am really glad I went out both time with him.  I haven't dated in forever.  I mean, I didn't date much in my teens, in my 20s I was with Cop#1 and SI.  After SI, I only went on a handful of dates, less than 4 I'd say.  Then eventually I met ManFriend and was very resistant to that at first and that wasn't really like dating, we just fell into this routine.  So...I don't have much experience in dating and making small talk with strangers.

I am meeting with another gentleman that I met a few weeks ago, but think both parties know it is not a physical thing. He is much older...and he recently lost his wife.  So I am thinking that will be more of a friendship/support thing.

But I am confident that I do OK on dates; I have a nice smile and I ask questions.  It is just a matter of finding more appropriate people who are interested in me (closer in age, some similar hobbies, similar values, etc).

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