Saturday, March 1, 2014

one night stand

On Tuesday I met a friend for drink before dinner.  It was a more upscale establishment and I was there for about an hour before she showed up, that is at least two glasses of wine.  The friend gets there, but I end up chatting with the bartender for a bit, it lead to an exchange of business cards and a few flirty texts during dinner.

Fast forward to Friday, I met up with two guy friends for drinks after work.  It was a late night, and I debated meeting up with the bartender afterwards, going home with one of those guys, or going home alone.  As usual, I missed my train home by seconds, leading to an hour of waiting...and texting.  Do I go home or do I meet up with a stranger? 

Having a one night stand has been on my bucket list for a while, but I've always been too nervous to do it because I didn't want to be murdered.  I am sure the odds of that are slim...but it is something I've feared.  And I am not going to lie, I asked him if he planned to kill me, yup, I am that weird girl.

So, I waste an hour texting him, fighting the desire to try something new.  I get on the train and we depart.  Then...I did something shocking, I got off at 125th street and took a cab to his apartment.  I wasn't drunk anymore.

It was about 2 am, I knew at this point that the next train home wasn't until 5:30ish AM.  So, I'd have to hang out there until I can get back home.

He was a little more 'regular' than I remember him looking; no beer goggles this time around.  We kiss, we kiss a little more, then we head into the bedroom.  He claimed not to have a condom; it was do I do it anyway or do I piss him off and end up walking around Harlem from 2 - 5 I went along with it...why not?  With all the guys I've been with rarely did I use a condom.  The insecurities that I talked about the other day...I didn't have them.  This was someone that I knew I wouldn't see again...and I didn't care if it was good or bad or what he was thinking.  I have to say, I enjoyed it more than I thought I would...not because it was good, but because I didn't care.  

Then we go to sleep.  Even though I asked before I went over if he snored and said no...he did.  I barely got a wink of sleep.  I forgot how horrible it is to sleep with someone snoring.  At 4:45 I got dressed, peed and woke him up to tell him I was leaving.  I asked if he'd go outside and get a cab with me because I wasn't sure if his neighborhood was safe, but he said I'd be fine.  I spent a ton of money the night before, so I also asked for $5 since I didn't have enough for a cab ride.

And that was that.  A one night stand.  Completed. Check.

And I survived.  It was so different to not have a date first, get to know a guy, think about if I liked the guy, maintaining conversation, or think about a was just sex.  It wasn't as horrible as I thought....and maybe I'll try to find another stranger but not just for one night, maybe for a few month fling. It would be nice to have sex with someone that I am not attached to from previous experiences.


  1. Denise....I am shocked! Get yourself tested please!

    PS: You don't need to post this.

  2. Hi, denise, I'm in the testing room reading your blog again... I hope you know who this is, Mr.twins.... haha haha
    I wanted to comment on this.... You go girl, you held your guns and you did your thing....
    not happy that you went commando...
    I know that's one down in your list...of many..
    You make your self happy, if no one else does. If guys can go get a booty call, why cant you, you have the same desires as a guy who wants to get some action. ... I don't think anyone should judge you for this, at any time in your life... if he going to love you, its all of you and the skeleton in your closet... lol
    take care..... E