Wednesday, March 5, 2014

need to know

It's not quite 7 pm and I am borderline drunk.  What is the occasion, since this would be the fourth time in 2 weeks?  Well, I got some not so great news today.  I am not going to get into that stuff now, but it will come, eventually.  And I was disappointed so on my walk home I decided to pick up some sushi and some sparkling wine.  I am 3/4 the way through the bottle and noticed I've been either talking to myself or talking to ManFriend or a higher spirit...asking them questions about the turn of events and my future.  It was then I realized how fast sparkling wine goes to my head.  If I knew these effects, I would have just bought a bottle of Champagne or sparkling wine on my outings this past two weeks instead of buying 8 - 12 drinks; it would have been a lot more cost effective and faster.

Anyway, so my post tonight is about my confusion.  I believe in fate, so I can't get upset about it, but I feel like I just need to know everything will work out, that I will eventually be happy....or that I am destined to just be here, like this.  Is it bad to want to know a little about what will happen?  I mean, the difference of being alone living in a crappy apartment or finding a man, marrying and living in a nicer place...I kinda need to know.

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