Thursday, February 2, 2012

Invisible to men

Once in a while, I think we all need a good pick me up with areas we struggle the most with.  For me that is if I am attractive and the desire to have men talk to me and maybe if I am lucky date them and marry them.

I walk by mirrors and I always look at what I look like.  I am looking a bit more weathered and old, but for the most part, I do not think I am unattractive. It mystifies me that I am invisible to men.

Every time I work a trade show men flock to the booth to talk to my co-worker. When I go out with a single friend, men don't generally talk to us at all, but she gets way more attention than I do. When I am in line at the grocery store, the men hit on the women with children.  If I was at the library it seems that the strangers talking are older, if I go to the gas station people tend to talk to people with nicer cars, and if I go to a bar people look at me, but they don't smile or approach me, sometimes it is the blonds, sometimes it is the 'fake' girls, sometimes it is the 'party' girls.  No competition for me there, those are things I don't want to be and that isn't the kind of guy I want if they are attracted to those type of people.

For a while I really TRIED to seem more open and available, but it didn't change anything from the 'normal' more serious me.  I did my hair different, put more effort into wearing makeup regularly, wearing boots/heels, etc.  Sure I do smile, but I don't walk around with a fake smile plastered on my face. If I laugh or smile, it is genuine.

Last weekend I was talking to my booth-neighbor at a trade show; I met him at another conference.  He essentially told me I was so beautiful and that he found me more attractive than my co-worker, and that I seem more mature and confident. I thanked him, as it was nice of him and came as quite a surprise for me. But I was baffled. I told his man that I appreciated his comments and that one would think if i did in fact possess those qualities, isn't it shocking I am single with ZERO interested parties out there, that no one even approaches me let alone shows desire to talk to me over drinks?  He was shocked of course and I wondered if he thought I mentioned that because I have low self esteem because I didn't necessarily need reassurance but answers.  No, I need both.

It is really nice to hear people compliment you.  But it isn't enough. I want to be visible. I want some competition from men, I want to have a small selection to chose from so I am not left wondering if I am settling for the ONE person who actually had courage to talk to me.  Does anyone have a serum for visibility??

1 comment:

  1. Of course your getting noticed by guys. The problem is, the guys who are noticing you aren't the ones YOU are noticing.

    Perhaps they're more stealthly? Or shy? Or intimidated?