So 100 days into my new living arrangement, my mother finally yells at me. Apparently I forgot to ask them something when I ran to the grocery store to get a few items for my dinner and that was inconsiderate. I'll be honest, I didn't 'forget' to ask them, they were watching a movie and I know they don't eat salmon or asparagus, and that was what I was making (I also re-started the 17 day diet which is more restricted then what they'd be eating). I didn't see the big deal, in the last 100 days I have always asked (if they were home) if they needed something or I'd pick up some basics for them without asking them. When I buy food it isn't just for me, they are always entitled to it.
I was very annoyed by this outburst, which also included her not knowing where I disappear to when I go out. Sure I am living rent free to pay off my debt but I've helped cook, clean up, grocery shop, etc. I know I am not doing as much as I should nor am I doing as much as I would if I lived alone, but I am depressed and depressed people get a little leeway no? I had to remind her that I was 32, I shouldn't have to tell them where I go (they don't know I am sort of seeing that guy).
While my mom did apologize to me after speaking with my father (I feel like I am 7 and they were discussing a punishment for me) who stuck up for me, it just helps to reinforce that I need to spend less time home. I know living here for another 10 months is going to be practically impossible so I was thinking about looking into renting a room/apartment on a month to month basis - I don't want to lock anything in.
What I really need to do is figure out where I want to move and suck it up and do it. I can't keep stalling. I hate my job and I think about quitting every day. Instead of finding a job around here until I move, I should just quit, move and find a job at my new place and continue to pay down my debt but at a much slower rate.
Readers, please send me some courage to make these huge changes. It is really scary and risky, and I am so worried I am going to make a wrong choice. Starting over somewhere new won't be easy, but I just have to remind myself I don't have a lot of friends here, so it won't be too different someplace else.