Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Dating an older person

Back in the day it was commonplace for the man in a relationship to be quite older than the woman - think of all the princes and kings who sought a very young and beautiful brides and all the old rich men that sought out their future young wives.  Sometimes I read these historical fiction books and am somewhat disgusted that a 30 year old man is with a 15 year old woman.  Is it the 15 year old age difference that bothers me or is it that the woman are just generally very young?

Age differences when we are younger seems like a bigger deal.  I couldn't have imagined dating someone more than 3 years older than me when I was in high school or more than 5 years older than me when I was in my 20s.   After the breakup with SI one of my sisters who is ten years older than me could have set me up with her friends but I declined thinking he was too old.  I turned down a few older fellas because being 27 with a 40 year old seemed too much for me...where was my 35 year old man?  As we get older, I think a ten year difference is acceptable, but what about 15 or 20? What do you think of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones? The former Demi & Ashton? Is their age difference workable or are they just too different because they want different things because they are at different points in their lives? I know they are not the best examples since they are all rich and that makes life a little easier to get through.

Yet I have been exposed to some age differences from my great aunts and least a ten year difference and I wondered as a, when he was 10 she was just born and then I have some really gross thoughts.  Now however, I am in my thirties and my age range to date someone has expanded.  I am currently 32 and I am willing to date someone between 30 and 42.  [There is that magical 10 year age difference again]  While I was still hesitant to date someone at the top of my age range, I figured better be older than younger right? I don't want someone immature and I want someone with life experience and that can help show me the way.

Now, here I am sort of dating someone who is 42 1/2 and I do get a little freaked out. First, he was 10 (in grade 5th grade) when I was born.  He had sex for the first time when I was only 7, graduated college when I was only in the 6th grade.  He has ten extra years of life experience...that is a lot more relationships, traveling, experimenting, working, etc.  If I were to have children with an older man - will he be able to keep up? See his children graduate from college? Will I have to take care of him when he can't take care of himself anymore?  He will be ready for retirement when I would still have to work [although my dream is to be a stay at home wife/mother] and more than likely will die before me leaving me alone yet again.

Is this something I can really handle? I am not saying specific to this particular person because who knows about that...but age differences in general.  What are your thoughts?

No comments:

Post a Comment