NYC will be 100+ degrees again today. Yesterday I wore a skirt to work, thinking a skirt would combat the heat better than pants...I don't know, my legs were hot and sweaty and felt funny when I waked - but it probably was better. I even put the air conditioning on in my apartment, which I rarely do because 1) I prefer fresh air and 2) it is expensive to run. But why should I suffer and sweat when I sit on the couch doing nothing? Or need to re-shower after I straighten my hair because the sweat is pouring off my body?
Today I decided to wear a cotton dress. The dress is simple, I can wear a normal bra, and comes up to right above my knees. I am not one to normally wear dresses/skirts to work and my walk this morning was very difficult. As posted previously, I have large breasts, in the summer, they are not covered by coats/jackets so walking the streets I feel the staring and it makes me very uncomfortable. So I put on my sunglasses at 7:50am when I walk out of Grand Central Terminal and walk straight with no smile ignoring everyone in sight. As soon as you exit Grand Central, you can SMELL the stuffy gross NYC air. For a few weeks I thought I was going crazy, getting a headache as soon as I got to the city (subconsciously thinking I needed a new job outside of NYC) but I am not crazy, the summer air is different. Sickening. All the smells are intensified and you hold back that gag feeling for too long when you pass garbage, homeless people, food stands, etc. The smell is everywhere.
So, I arrive at work and take my black flip flops off - and decide between the two pairs of shoes I have under my desk. Brown or black. Hmm, this is tough - the dress is purpley-pink. Perhaps brown would look better but either shoe option looks horrible with the dress - a work policy is no open toed shoes, then again wearing stockings is too - but that I refuse to do this week. But who cares how much the shoes don't go with the dress? I sit at my desk and most of the time I have my shoes off anyway. If the boss says I look bad - then I'll tell her that my budget does not allow me to purchase many options for 'work' shoes. I keep my light in my office off until 1pm and I do not plan to leave the office at lunch time because of the heat (actually, I rarely leave the office at lunch time anyway, that is just today's excuse). Then I sit here thinking that I should have called in to work and stayed home. I'd rather be at the beach and in the water. Then that gets me thinking that I'd rather not work...ever. Which leads me to want to look for a new job...but I probably won't. I spent the last few weeks looking into college degrees too, but haven't decided on anything.