I can't get Pink's "Blow Me (One Last Kiss)" lyrics. More specifically the line - "I've had a shit day". Granted I am not wallowing over a man.
I worked about 10.5 hours and only took a 30 minute break. The day: At 9:45 I have a nose bleed at work. Then I get a call from an area code that SI/mistress was from...and I always freak out when that happens; person left a 20 second background message. I did call reverse just to find out it was a house number in the town next to where SI used to live. I didn't want to keep investigating. Later, I was supposed to meet up with an ex-coworker for lunch, but she had a 2 hour conference call....thank goodness I brought my lunch just in case! This sort of annoyed me a little because I needed a break today.
Then I sent a job posting to ManFriend...and guess what, he replied back to me. First time in a week. Had some lame excuse about his quick need to go to Iowa on Monday....but yet, his behavior changed last week. I didn't try to contact him at all yesterday. So...it really irked me. Especially when he said "perhaps we should only communicate by talking since it seems that every time we text/write one of us misinterprets something the other says"....He didn't get a response from me because I was tempted to say...'or not at all'. If there is one thing I hate, is is being ignored.
Let's see...work. This is a busy week...I have a deadline on Friday. I can do MY work before then...but I am still waiting on so many other people to get me their stuff...and the last thing I want is to stay at work past 4 (in times they have stayed till 8pm....no fu*king way!). I have been good about harassing my co-workers to get the stuff in for the last 2 meetings...and I still have three days, but....I am not optimistic.
I knew I had a conference call at 5, which means i had to work at least 2 hours late. I was willing to do it of course because it is work and I need to prove myself. But the volunteers were not prepared, snippy/grumpy, and confused. Yikes.
Sitting at work, I decided I needed a vacation. A few weeks ago, I signed up for this amazing trip to India/Nepal but it was cancelled. I could have looked at another tour, but I haven't. I figured it was a sign I wasn't supposed to spend so much money. So, I thought about something closer. My problem is I have no one to travel with...and that really upset me.
When I finally got home, I checked the FaceBook news feed. A cousin wrote "fingers crossed and saying a prayer". I read the comments because, naturally I was curious. She then wrote "just hoping for something good to happen to us!"....and I WANTED to write....'you just got married, went on a great honeymoon....maybe it is time that something great happened to other people for a change'. Obviously you see the problem with posting that...and I was happy I even realized I shouldn't.
On top of all of this, I have the house to myself this week...and I am barely enjoying it.
And as I was writing this, I just got a phone call that one of my aunts isn't doing well.
Tonight was the first night in months I cried. I am starting to worry another depression is coming up. Figures right? Just as I was doing so well, and then BAM so quickly. I am ovulating, but I don't remember being this emotional the last few times. Is it hormones or a funk? If a funk, how am I going to get out of it? The solution is I need a break - I haven't really had a day off from work since the beginning of April. But I really don't want to have to travel by myself, which means I won't...which means I either waste a day doing nothing OR not getting away. Part two of my solution involves lust/love....and I don't know how to get that.