Monday, January 23, 2012

I'll make love to you

Have you thought about all the different words for intercourse?  To name just a few we have:
making love
making woopie
sleeping together
fooling around
getting it on
the nasty
hanky panky
tap that
the wild thing

baby making
and of course there is many more.

When I speak of this act, I usually use the word sex. Because to me the word sex is the act of what you are doing and then there is different variations of how.  For example to me - f*cking means hard and fast with no intimacy, while nooky sounds playful, banging had no feelings, making love is sweet, tender and slow, screwing is fairly routine but with more eagerness, and fooling around seems a bit more innocent.

It is always interesting to hear how other people phrase it.  What type of sex are they having?  In the past if I were to think of what kind of sex I had...I'd have to put it somewhere between sex, screwing and banging and most of my sexual encounters have been while I was in a relationship. What does that say about me? It says that while I enjoyed sex...perhaps I lacked a certain level of intimacy.  It was just an act, a thing to do with someone else that felt really good.  I knew no different, I figured this is what everyone did.  But it is not.

Recently I met someone who by our second encounter stated "I want to make love to you".  Kind of a crazy thing to say to someone new. How on Earth can he make love to me when we barely know each other? I dismissed it and thought he was just old-fashioned since he was a bit older.  But when the time came, it was amazingly different; something so new and I felt unprepared for it.  Even though the man under me was practically a stranger I felt this different kind of feeling as I slowly moved around.  This new feeling led me to want to see him more often because for once I felt like the man I was with wanted to be with me - not just using my body to relieve himself of his sexual urges.  The only problem is that with someone so new, I still don't have that connection and with no connection I am more reserved, I am not ready to do certain things and that hinders my ability to be fully satisfied.  It is my problem, one that several people have commented on - I still have this fear of sex and what is required of me and making mistakes and doing things wrong that I am not fully there in the moment yet...and I want to be.

While this new style has been a learning experience into tenderness and creating some type of intimacy I can't do that every time.  Perhaps it is because the last thirteen years I have been screwing but I need some deep hard thrusts more regularly.  I am sure it is very fulfilling when you have that deeper level connection with someone - I can see how it can lead to a huge orgasm, but for now it is not enough.  Shouldn't new relationships/partnering have more urgency to it? How am I expected to go nice and slow when I am so excited?

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