rejection is hard

I recently had communications with both Bank Boy and Cop #1.  Bank Boy wanted to know how things were going with HSK which turned into a 3 hour texting conversation about why I didn't give him (BB) a chance like I did with HSK, if HSK wasn't interested I should give him a try again, etc etc.  It was a lot to handle and super annoying.  But I was considering it  :(  for a moment until he got all crazy on me.

Cop#1 I asked about the job/pensions/etc.  There were some things I needed to know for 'research' purposes.  We ended up texting on/off the whole afternoon.  He really can make me blush and smile. 

Which made me realize that at times I feel like - the kid in gym class that wants to be on team A, but team A doesn't want me.  Team B on the other hand is accepting and wants me to be on their team...team B loves me, but I just don't want to be on their team.  I keep gazing at Team A hoping they'd change their mind.  So, I keep going to Team B and am willing to be a traitor as soon as Team A calls....or I keep waiting for them to ask me and so I don't put any effort for Team B.

OK, so that was confusing...but relate the Teams to guys.  Team A could be HSK, SI or some other chap I haven't met yet.  Someone I feel comfortable around and hope to pursue something.  Team B is the recycled guys, guys that aren't available or guys I am not into.  Both Bank Boy and Cop#1 was extremely flattering and made me feel so good about myself.  They helped me realize that I am a pretty awesome chick - and made me curious why Team A doesn't like me.  Even though they are helpful, nothing can transpire with those B team guys.  But Team A....they didn't appreciate me or didn't realize how awesome I could be.  Is there a Team C?

I wonder why guys don't just tell you what is bothering them, what they would like different, or in general just being more open.  I am very adaptable - and am willing to go out of my way to make someone happy.

I like to be in control, so being rejected is really hard.