Saturday, April 27, 2013

End of a life chapter

I decided I didn't want to move back into my apartment, so when the tenant was moving this weekend - I called my agent; it will be listed as of next Thursday. 

There were a few factors that made me decide to suck it up and sell it.  But before I get that far, maybe you need to know why I bought it in the first place.

When SI and my relationship ended, I moved in with my parents. I knew it was temporary, I was either going to live alone...or move back in with him.  But one day I got a package of junk mail sent to me with the mistresses name on a label in the corner. I called an agent that day.  In a week I looked at a few places, walked into this apartment and liked it, although it was smaller than I wanted.  Maybe it was a little impulsive, especially for a big purchase. But I knew I needed to do it for me, to prove I could be independent and because I needed time alone to cry and be miserable.

When I decided to rent it a year and a half ago, it was a hard decision because I loved having a place that was mine, but I knew this was temporary. I wanted something a little bigger so I can bring a child into the picture. And I wanted to pay off my credit card debt.

I listed it with an agent and rented it, to a man who became ManFriend.  I knew from the moment I saw him something was going to happen...and I fought it a little in the beginning because it would make things confusing.  And it did. At first I felt like a prostitute because I would go over and then he'd give me rent money. 

Now that ManFriend moved two towns over from where I lived in NJ, I remembered why I didn't want to live here...and because I spent 18 months dating a man here...and it is too many memories that I don't want. 
As I am taking a break from cleaning the apartment, I am realizing that this chapter of my life is over. And while I might had shed a few tears, I am happy about it. I hope that means better things are yet to come. Although I am very worried about being financially secure enough to live comfortably and adopt a child...when I can barely afford rent/mortgage.


  1. Probably a good decision. It was the place that you were able to really "get over" SI... like you said, bad memories. It was necessary but not needed anymore. And remember that awful upstairs neighbor?! Gross.

    It will all be okay in the end, I swear!
    And P.S. I've been busy and sick and busy, don't worry I haven't forgotten about you and our trip! Its just really hard to focus with Hawaii coming up next month too ;)

    1. Oh GOOD. I am glad you still want to go!!! I need a trip ASAP. I just booked something for September, and this in August I guess. Hawaii is going to be amazing-have a great time.