Saturday, November 3, 2012

Resentment of ManFriend?

ManFriend and I had lunch yesterday and I hooked him up with gas.  I thought things were starting to maybe turn around again.  When I went to the grocery store, I picked a few things up for him – probably $40 worth of groceries.  And at 3:30 I invited him out to dinner…but as 7:00 rolls around I asked if I was eating alone. He never answered, but he didn’t say yes, so I ate with my parents.  Tonight is my last weekend night before heading back to work, I kind of hoped to get out of the house, spend time with someone other than helping someone.
I put myself in these positions. I am so good to the few friends I have. I help them and bend over backwards.  But yet, as ManFriend’s power came back on and with it his cable – I kind of thought maybe he’d invite me over so I can watch the news or something – since I haven’t watched TV since Monday…but nope.  Of course there are other examples of how I constantly feel disappointed - some of which I mentioned the other day.

Am I started to resent ManFriend?  I know he is dirt poor right now, and the nice person I am, I want to help, so I do.  When we go out to eat or get drinks, 90% of the time I get the bill.  I make him food or drop off groceries.  He asked for more…yet never defined what ‘more’ entailed.  He is seeing me less, we don’t ‘hang out’, and can’t have sex twice in a night. 

Why am I still interested?

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