I am an adult, am I still allowed to cry when I am overwhelmed, frustrated, sad or hurt? Should I be embarrassed about it or seek alone space to do it? In the past, I normally cried when I was sad or because I was hurt so much and I just cried and cried and cried. I am over that, but lately, I am so disappointed in my life, and tears just surface within the eye.
I look at some married couples and think about what a horrible relationship they have…yet, all I can think about is my future spouse. I hate being so alone and I cannot find happiness and contentment until I have that person. I know that sounds so stupid, but this past week has been a test, which I failed miserably. I really enjoyed having the place to myself for a week – with the parents on vacation, I got the feel of what it would be to live alone again, and I enjoyed it. But at the same time, all I wanted was to spend time with that friend – to spend a night with someone. Granted, even if the parents were around, I would seek that out at his place but because I had the place to myself…I wanted it more often.
So, here I am on day 8 of this break from work and technology – and realized that I’ve shed tears at least three or four days of the eight. That is really bad.
I wonder if I will ever find what I am looking for. And if not, how will I pass my time?
For those of you that are single or loners – how do you pass your evenings or weekends alone? How do you find contentment in solitude? How do you make friends?
I am certainly not an outgoing overly happy person. I do not go to bars alone or looking for one night stand. I enjoy my quiet alone time, but at the same time, I need a little companionship.