I don't know how to date

I don't know how to date. I know how to be in a relationship, but even that now is probably not all that accurate since it has been a long while. Dating, the period before the relationship, kinda sucks. There are all these 'rules' people think are true but these 'rules' a lot of other people don't even know about (like me) so it just makes everything so confusing. You don't want to over do it and come across as needy and you don't want to under do it and it be like you aren't interested.

• How long to wait to have sex?
• If they give you a choice to spend the night or leave...what do you do?
• If you spend the night, what time leaving the next day is appropriate?
• At the beginning - how do you know if you are dating or getting together for sex?
• If you meet their friends you wonder what they said about you before you got there about the nature of how you are acquainted
• They mention they want to do soemthing together, is it just small talk or they really think it even if it is weeks/months away and you know...what if you aren't speaking then?

Sure, I know the general answer to most of those is something like - whatever feels right. But let me tell you that 5 of the 6 of those I had to seriously consider this past week. Yes, I know that I sound like I am 20-something, but when you haven't dated in oh I don't know 9 years...it makes it kind of hard. 
            

And that is probably why I haven't dated in the last five years. I've been on a few first - third dates, but after that, I don't know, I kinda back off, but I know I'm not missing out with those guys.

So when I met my matchmakers this past weekend, they were a little surprised by a few things:

1. That I am not hideous. They were not expecting me to need help in the dating area. Which really just goes to show people that somewhat attractive people need help too. Sure I can find a guy to get laid if I really wanted...but that isn't want I want. I want more. I want a long term relationship - preferably a husband. But that also makes me wonder if all the guys that use that kind of service are less than decent looking.
2. That I don't know how to meet someone decent
3. That people don't approach and talk to me that are either single and somewhat attractive and not an asshole.
4. That I don't really date
5. That I have only had 2 serious relationships - and one wasn't even that serious.

I hope that the matchmaking thing works out, but it is only a minimum of a three month commitment so if it doesn't work I'm not out months & months of money. I also really think that when I do honestly 'date' someone I like, it is because they aren't a hold me over, it is because I truly like them and something long-term will be there.

All I know is that I am finally READY to be in a relationship again...and for the right reasons. I have really enjoyed my few encounters with HSK and my self esteem in the sexual area is rising back to normal...but won't really get there until I am more comfortable with someone; but at least the whole idea seems a lot less scary.

I will keep you posted on my dating stories. I will have a brand new one coming soon from the matchmaker.