A few weeks ago, I had a second date with a guy I met online. During the first date he mentioned he just started taking salsa dancing lessons so when ideas were needed for date #2, I sort of invited myself to join him. What better way to understand someone than awkward uncomfortable dancing when making a fool out of yourself. I feel like it is good to get that out of the way early. Laughing at yourself in front of someone else.
In high school I took tap and jazz for about 3 years. It was fun, but I was never really good at it, not loose enough, not having the music move me. Then in my 20s I took some ballroom dance lessons with SI. Those started fun, but became stressful. And it was awkward, even with someone I knew, was attracted to and liked.
We started the lesson learning the basic steps and then adding on. I was doing great. It is easy to watch and to get the footing right - alone. Once we started dancing with someone, it got harder. And then, like most group dance lessons, you dance around the room, the basic short routine you learned with a new person. Everyone has different styles and is at different levels. I think this is supposed to make you better, but it started to confuse me, doubting my steps. taking more misteps because of poor leading. One guy critiqued me - he didn't enjoy my dancing. I thought he was awkward and the worst one I danced with so I wasn't offended. After our dancing circle we were able to dance with the person we went with and there I was, making eye contact for way too long with this new guy. What do you do? I start laughing. It is awkward.
Our beginners group joined the intermediate group and we did a big circle dance swap thing again....and I had no clue what the advanced men were doing to me...but I went with it and laughed and apologized over and over that today was day #1 and I had no idea what to do. Thank goodness my big smile won them all over.
Soon it was back to 'open dance' with my 'partner'. He needed a bathroom break so I go sit on the side. Only seconds passed and a young Spanish guy came over and reached his hand out to me implying he wanted to dance. Not sure how long my date would be, I said sure. Why not? The guy was good. He had me all over the floor. He was intense. He touched me in all the right places that make salsa sensual. He led me well and he had that look of not only confidence, but an intense stare when in the moment. I see my date watch from the sidelines, but I wasn't going to stop this great dance with this stranger midsong. My date had 4 lessons...he was stiff and awkward, this guy...he'd make me want to learn. Song over, my stranger and I part ways without having said a word.
My date said he was very impressed with my skills. It wasn't skills....it was being led well. I was loose, relaxed...and sweating quite a bit (which was a little embarrassing). He and I go back to our structured salsa basic step and turn. After 3 hours I called it a night. I was exhausted.
Date walked me to my car and asked to hang out 2 days later. I guess I made a good second impression.