I was chatting with this guy I've been on a handful of dates, and I brought it up that he has some serious issues (living with his ex-girlfriend of 2.5 years in the massive family house they purchased) that are probably deal breakers for any sane woman. I think he was mystified by my critique. We then shift gears about being hard to read and he tells me that I was very difficult to read on our first date. Really? Let's recap this. We met for a drink. After 90 minutes we order dinner. We eat dinner slowly continuing conversation. When that was done we walked the grounds for 30 minutes and ended with a walk to my car, an awkward hug and an exchange of phone numbers. That sounds like a great date with a lot of potential to me! Where is the sign of being hard to read?
So I ask about this, and he said I was extremely intimidating because I was so relaxed.
I've worked really hard to not be stressed or nervous on the first 1-2 dates. I now view the first two dates as weeding out/in. Are they somewhat attractive? Are they somewhat easy to talk to or interesting? Did they reveal any deal breakers? and if not...they get a second date. I am starting to enjoy "practicing" talking to men about basic first date type stuff, an area I've really had a hard time with in the last few years. I start to get nervous on date 3 or 4 because there is usually a kiss or I start looking at the person for the potential of possible husband material or conversation just fizzles/there is lack of any common interests/goals. Rarely do I get past 5 dates , but it isn't because I am being picky....most times it is the guy who doesn't want to continue getting to know me or they aren't really ready for a 'real' relationship.
Anyway, I was surprised that the reason I seemed intimidating was because I wasn't too nervous....great feedback! It is great when the honesty and openness starts so early in the dating process.