Monday, September 14, 2015

confirmation of not pursuing

I've said it over and over again.  If you've been out with someone more than 5 times and/or if you slept with them a few shouldn't just let if "fade" by ignoring them.  We are old...what's wrong with honesty?

The guy I've been talking to for a month started to ignore me after I sent a text about kissing.  I didn't text him for 5 days, and he didn't text me either.  A passive-aggressive move I made after he didn't acknowledge my text was to update new photos of me on the dating website we met through.  A few days later he did the same.

I don't know why I got upset when he ignored me.  Was it the mixed signals?  Inviting me to watch a movie but yet only peck on the cheek?  I am not sure I liked him.  He was a challenge, and I love challenges.  He was like a clam.  Sealed shut. I had to work hard to get him to elaborate on responses.  He barely asked me any questions after date #1.  But, for some reason, I enjoyed his company.

I finally texted him "All week I expected to receive a text from you.  So, it didn't work out romantically, but if you need a friend..."(and a little something about work).  He responded he'd really like to be friends, and then we have a decent dialogue.  Towards the end I say "anyway, I am glad you want to be friends (I've never suggested friends to any guy I attempted to date) but without attraction/passion friendship isn't a problem"  and he responds "it's not you.  I haven't felt passion in a long time."

Yeah, he mentioned that the night I met his ex-girlfriend...and how they didn't have any passion for 2 1/2 years but stayed together.

See.   Open and honest communication.  It ended well.  I didn't need closure - but I felt like I needed to acknowledge the fact that he ignored me and confirm that I wasn't going to pursue him.

No comments:

Post a Comment