Yesterday I heard from man friend after 3 weeks, we chatted a little about 'business' stuff then he asked me my feelings on that 'other' stuff. I told him I was over it, and that I was sorry, he agreed.
But we met up after work because we had those 'business things to discuss' and it was still comfortable and not awkward. We finish our drink and leave and then he kisses me. And I take a step back and look at him and ask what he was doing...I thought we agreed to none of that. So then he says we should talk more so he gets into my car.
He tells me that he wants to enjoy my friendship doing other things besides sex, that it should be just focused around that, that he wants to enjoy me as a person and when we are intimate he enjoys it tremendously because of how intimate we are. He complained we didn't do things, at which point i get defensive and laugh and ask he he was kidding me...I TRIED to do more things with him, but he wasn't interested: ziplining, archery, montreal, Asheville, hikes, cooking class, wine tasting, etc. I got tired of it, and we had this conversation two times already. He said he was over it just because I did, that he didn't mean it, although he is tired of me just going over there, doing our thing and me leaving. To me it sounds like he wants to actually date now (maybe his depression is over from his last breakup?). I told him that I am ready for a relationship and that I plan on meeting my future husband in September, and while I don't mind occasionally going over there...he needs to know that I want more out of life, I deserve better. He laughed that I could plan on something as crazy as meeting my future husband in such time, but continued to suggest we'd have a longer lasting whatever it is we are in. He kept telling me how attractive I was and how much he enjoys our intimate time, and suggesting what I've wanted, but I learned from SI that words don't really mean much, they might be empty promises and so I am naturally hesitant.
So, I tried to break it off, but again, it was unsuccessful. I have this issue of loving sex and kissing and when I am seduced, I go with it. I know he won't hold me back, when I meet the fh, I will not need man friend, just as I won't need cop#1, and I was honest with both of them that their time was running out. So, I will enjoy the month of August and keep my fingers crossed for September.