Saturday, July 4, 2015

I want to find love too

so let's see....Doofy got married last month.  Old Man went to Antigua with an official girlfriend last month.  Last year Greasy/Skeevy got married and had a baby.  I think Mountain Man is dating someone, although he hasn't said so but he talks to me a lot less frequently and doesn't respond as quickly to emails and texts.

Me?  I am still single.  I barely dated.

I am starting to wonder that maybe having a boyfriend or a husband just isn't my thing.   I can't get married if I don't date.  And I don't have luck with anyone wanting to date me that I might be interested in.

The two guys I attempted dates with this year were either secretly gay or a massive farter with slight fangs.

I just read this an article this morning about a man in the middle east who didn't shower for 60 years who is looking for his soul mate.   If he finds love before me....I really have a problem.  I shower.  I'm not 80 yet.  I don't smoke animal poop, or anything else for that matter.

What will this mean for my future?   I suppose I should really start looking for a bigger place to live first.  Well, no, I guess i need to decide if I want to stay in Colorado or not.  Once I have a place that has more bedrooms, I should really start taking the classes to get certified in foster care or maybe skip that and go straight to adoption.

While I don't mind living alone, I feel like my life will be very unfulfilled if I don't share it with someone.  All this time I was thinking I wanted to share it with a person of a similar age, a companion....but maybe looking after someone is what I need.  You know I love trying to help people, and there are so many kids that don't have anyone that need help.  BUT, as a friend recently pointed out to me that I get attached and give all my love and it would crush me if the foster kid goes back to their family.  So, I keep wondering, maybe temporary isn't for me.

Whatever happens in my future, I feel like I am always way behind everyone else.  Not that it is a competition.  Do I have unconscious issues that I need psychoanalysis for?  Did I mess up a past life and the one thing I want in this life I can't have?

I wish them all well of course, but I won't lie - I am a bit jealous, I want to find love too.

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