Happiness Update

I don't know if many of you picked up on the fact that my posts have been a lot 'happier' lately.  Crazy to think that just in September I wrote about happiness being over-rated.  Unfortunately I was going through another really long tough depression, but again - thanks to my amazing life coach, Laura, I have really been working on fixing myself...and it doesn't hurt that I am having some of the most amazing sex  ;) .

I have been seeing my life coach since July 2010 and meet with her once a month for a few hours.  Yesterday's meeting made it nine months - nine months, it is like a new me has been born - actually it is the OLD me, the one from many many years ago.  The one that smiles, laughs, jokes around, is sassy and sarcastic, talkative, the one that likes to go out, socialize and overall wakes up in a decent mood everyday.  The ME that is so happy to be somewhat back to 'normal' if such a thing exists.  So many people have noticed this huge change in my mood and it feels great.

Life coaching is about attaining goals (read from link above). I  also read a lot about forgiveness and happiness which helped me gain insight into how others dealt with these issues. Some of my goals were not difficult and others are more time consuming and complex.  While my goals may not have been achieved yet (goals are supposed to take time, otherwise it would just be a task) I am on my way there.  I have really been working on doing things out of my comfort zone, trying to become more social and more secure in who I am.  I even broke down my months to have small mini-goals like apply for a job once a week or go on a date one a month and I have been sticking with it so far.  But these little things help with getting to the bigger goals.  Once I am happier and more comfortable with myself, I will have an 'easier' time finding a husband or having more confidence when on an interview.  And once I get an interview and feel good about it, then I'll have a new job that I like and more money so the tight money issue will go away and I can pay down my loans and move.  See, it all will come together...eventually.

On top of the work I am doing myself, it helps to have outside reassurance.  My parents have both commented on my fantastic mood lately and my father said I was radiating...and I had to ask if that was the same look as glowing (I don't have a bun in my oven! But since I am not careful at all...you never know) and to keep it up - whatever I was doing.  During this same time something unexpected happened from the least likely of people at the least unlikely of times (when I think about moving to another state/country).  I've really enjoyed hanging out with HSK even if it isn't on a regular basis and he tells me how sweet and chill I am and even though I know it, I am happy to hear someone else tell me that especially when SI might not have appreciated that? 

Also, I lost ten pounds and hopefully I can loose another five within the next two months.  This is also a huge boost since I can still wear some of the same clothes but they just look a lot better and I had to return a really cute strapless (did I tell you I never worn one of those before?) dress for a smaller size.  My blood pressure is down to a normal level on a regular basis.  Oh and the haircut just rounds it all off to a different me that I am a bit more comfortable with.

I have made a lot of progress with Laura and I am still going to continue to see her for a while. It is really nice having someone there to talk to about my goals and to help me along and motivate me to want more for myself.  I am at a point right now where I WANT to change so much...but I don't know what to do or I am too scared to do it - but at least I am not so blah about it anymore.  I have to change up my living situation and my job - two huge things at one time which as been a huge source of my insomnia lately.  I really can't wait to sleep through the night.