Miss Independent

Today marks my three year anniversary of owning my apartment which in turn is also my three year anniversary of my independence. I know it isn't a lot, but for me it is a special day that I plan to celebrate drinking a glass of wine - by myself.

First, living alone was a big adjustment. As much as I miss having someone around to talk to or hang out with in my free time...living alone has some great advantages like doing whatever you want whenever you want. Having the place as clean or messy as you want it to be - not cleaning up after someone. Having people over whenever you want with out having to think about someone else. You get to decorate your space however you like. No compromises. Aside from living with a beau, living with family was challenging too...what if I didn't want to come home? They would worry...but now that I have an apartment, no one knows when I come and go. Or the constant questions about where I was going and who I was going out with.  Even what I'd eat for dinner; sometimes you just aren't in the mood for what someone else makes...and other times it is a godsend since you may not have wanted to cook.

Second, knowing I can live alone financially was a huge achievement for me. I honestly, didn't know how expensive things were. I didn't really think that 70% of my salary would be living expenses...which didn't leave money for 'fun' things...but somehow I have managed...but with some credit card debt. [which I hope to pay down]. Knowing I can support myself was important to me because when SI and I were together, he supported me. I didn't know if I could do it on my own, I haven't completely...but I am mostly there. I mean, sure I am not getting monthly help from anyone (although I do take some toilet paper or paper towels from my parents on occasion) - but I'd eventually like to not have to pay for groceries or gas on my credit card and have some extra money to go out on ocassion. Then I would be happier.

A lot of people don't realize that living alone is really hard. So many people can split the bills with their partner. So even if they are living in the same size apartment as me...that is two incomes. Of course you can go on vacation and not have as much debt.  This part of the country is very expensive - my small 650 square foot apartment is more money then big houses down south or in the midwest and unfortunately my salary is not 3 times theirs.  It is a struggle.

I had a hard time adjusting but I think it is safe to say that in the last three years, living alone has been relatively nice. I feel that I am more aware of things than I was before including prices and repairs and I have learned to be a little more handy. All really good qualities...but I do fear that I have become too independent and standoffish that makes a guy somewhat intimidated.

I will admit that I hope living alone is temporary. I'd really like to find me a man to live with. As annoying as it is to pick up socks...I didn't mind dotting over my man and all that snuggling and baking.