Rules of attraction

It is reassuring that after 12 years I still find someone attractive; that a small glance turns me on.  Sure we've grown up a bit and filled out, but those same qualities that I found attractive in a man years ago are still the qualities that I like now.  It is reassuring because that means when I meet my husband and if I find him attractive, that means based on my track record, I will remain attracted to my husband for many years and THAT makes me happy.

I believe that attraction grows on you, that a person can be kind of attractive, but those other qualities that you like enhance their appearance.  Or a good looking person's attractiveness was decreased based on their personality.  These have been true with a few people I've dated.

But I've wondered if someones attractiveness once you've built it up can disintegrate because that didn't happen to me with SI even after what he put me through.  The last thing I want is to meet someone, date, marry and then find them unattractive years later because what does that mean for our relationship? I don't believe in divorce unless of course something horrible happened or if someone was incarcerated...I want to work through my problems; marriage isn't supposed to be easy all the time.

For me attraction IS important.  I am a horny person, I like sex, I want to look at someone and smile.  I want there to be affection - not just in the beginning of a relationship, but throughout it and even many years later.  That is part of who I am, that is part of what I require so I know a relationship without attraction won't work for me.  Call me shallow if you must; but this is why I worry about attraction.