I love "How I met your mother" but I swear the writers telepathically get their ideas from my head. OK OK, so maybe they get the ideas first, but when I watch the show, the timing of the events coincide so much with my life.
For instance, on Monday I was going to blog about how one feels when they find out a friend is pregnant. I didn't get around to blogging about it that day because I was busy. And guess what? That is exactly what HIMYM was about that evening. When the gang finds out Marshall and Lilly are pregnant, they each have their own thoughts about their lives. I won't say more since you may have already watched it or don't like the show - but I will tell you about me and why I was happy that this show touched upon what few will admit.
I've mentioned a few times, that it is hard watching everyone else move on with their lives. In the last 4 1/2 years I have seen people date and marry, divorce and have children. I have seen many younger than me marry and start families, and I am happy for them, but honestly I am jealous. I know many people feel that way, but few admit it. But there it is. I am jealous that some of these people are secure enough in their lives to take the next steps. They first started dating, then they apparently had a decent enough job to save money for a house - a house big enough for a family, and then they start having children.
You all know that a family has been my desire for at least 10 years. I never stopped hoping for a husband or a child. And watching everyone else make that happen, it hurts because I came ridiculously close, but it hasn't happened yet. It makes me realize that not only will I be an old parent (which I always feared) but I may never get where they are. I am not going talk about the green grass on the other side...and you shouldn't too. It isn't about that. It is about my personal failings in life. My wrong decisions that landed me where I am now. My realization that realistically being a single parent in NY is not possible and I need that other person to help get the nicer place to live and provide for the future family and wondering if that other person will find me before I am too old to have decent sex.
When you find out someone is getting married, having a baby, or got an amazing job you really start to think about your life. I am happy for my friends and acquaintances for a few moments but then I need a few moments to hold back my tears before I can be happy for them again.
Hi Denise,I've just read your post and found it very moving.
ReplyDeleteThe issues you write about are obviously very personal to you and I'd find it very hard to offer you any advice without it sounding trite or cliched but you've made me stop and think and for that I thank you.
I know EXACTLY how you feel.
ReplyDeleteI laugh at your comment "before I'm too old to have descent sex." You crazy lady. You're still TOO YOUNG to worry about that any time soon. Seriously!! Remember, women hit their prime in their 30's and 40's... you've got LOTS Of good sex to come! :)
This is absolutely awesome! Your blog is nice. And what you said about having a family, getting married (all) is exactly my feelings..And this HIMYM thing is so funny coz sometimes it also happens to me.:) glad to know that I am not the only one who feels that way! Thanks for this wrtng..
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