like I never left

I spent the last few days moving some of my stuff over to the apartment.  I didn't want to move everything because that is a lot of work for something that might be temporary.  I bought some furniture because I sold the living room stuff, and I am very happy with the way it looks.  The new furniture has more shelves - so I had to pick up a few things to fill those shelves.  Items at Pier 1 and Home Goods are great...I bought more than I needed, but it was so hard to decide!  The good thing about the larger entertainment area is that I probably can get away with not hanging pictures on the wall.  I have some amazing photos, but I don't want to worry about fixing the holes and paint upon my departure, if my departure is right around the corner.

Being back here is a little weird, but it is like I never left.  I am very comfortable in the apartment but at the same time it brings back memories of the heartache I had from SI and then the awful relationship with ManFriend.  I am sitting on my couch and all I think about is kissing ManFriend because that is where we did the most kissing.  And I smile because the kissing was amazing but I got teary eyes because I remember I am alone again.  This apartment is becoming a recovery zone.

I am looking forward to living alone again.  I do worry about being a little lonely, but that will pass.  But more on my mind is that this is supposed to be temporary, the apartment is still on the market.  I could get an offer at any time.  Am I going to fall in love with the apartment again and not want to leave?  Am I crazy for wanting  to move (I am sure renting a place I like will be more expensive)?  I hate all the uncertainty; I want to be established and I want stability.